14 definition of concepts victimization victimization behavior victimization. Drank - go home. All personality changes begin with the formation of new views! How else can you get rid of the role of the victim?
Victim behavior is a term from criminology, it originates from English word victim - victim. Thus, when we talk about victim behavior, we mean the victim’s behavior. A victim is a person who has suffered as a result of illegal actions (insults, violence, assault, murder, etc.).
Scientists argue that some victims can provoke the offender to commit aggressive actions with their behavior or appearance. Let's try to figure out what exactly the victim's behavior is.
Scientists divide this kind of behavior into three types:
- Weakness of character, isolation, inability to respond to an insult is a weak victim.
- Aggressive, defiant behavior that attracts attention and provokes response.
- Inattention, "having your head in the clouds", a weak instinct of self-preservation, which make human lung prey.
Let's consider the features of each of the listed types.
Victim behavior: how to stop being a victim
There are people who are masters of their lives. They confidently follow their chosen path, achieve their goals and attract good luck. However, there are people who constantly find themselves in unpleasant situations and become victims of violence. In modern psychology, the term victimization is used to designate a pattern of behavior that predisposes to the occurrence of life- and health-threatening circumstances.
How victimization manifests itself: signs
A person with victimized behavior has a specific characterological portrait, a special worldview and perception of his personality, which determines his destructive thinking and provocative actions, as a result of which he “attracts” ill-wishers, criminals, and manipulators to himself like a magnet.
He sacrifices himself for the benefit of those around him. He tolerates any injustice and silently endures insults. He acts contrary to his interests and sacrifices his benefits.
What is cognitive therapy and how does it work?
Such a person in any team becomes an object of ridicule and criticism. Management piles a huge amount of responsibilities on such a voluntary victim, mercilessly criticizes and reproaches for the smallest mistakes. Her colleagues laugh at her and mock her.
People with victimized behavior always have problems in personal relationships. Their companions quickly lose interest in them, since being near a frightened victim is neither prestigious nor interesting. For household members, such a person is a voluntary slave, whose calling is to please everyone. She is insulted, humiliated, beaten by her partners, without any regard for her opinions and needs.
An individual with victimized behavior is removed from his seat on the bus. He is the one who gets pushed out of the queue at the store. The neighbors hate such a person. This person constantly gets into very bad and dangerous situations. People around them manipulate a person with victimized behavior, brazenly abuse their reliability and kindness. A subject with victorious behavior often suffers from swindlers and swindlers. It is him that the robbers choose as a target. The maniacs are targeting him.
It is worth noting that the victim’s helplessness is very noticeable to others. The ideal object, the image of which attracts arrogant men, hooligans and rapists, looks like this: hunched shoulders, hunched back, compressed movements, dull eyes, lowered head, clumsy gait. The victim makes it clear by all means that she is immersed in her inner world and is afraid of everything that happens in external environment. When confronted with a stranger, the victim freezes in place in horror. His legs and arms are shaking. Instead of confidently rebuffing, she silently nods to the pestering person.
At the same time, such a person does not want to experience suffering at all and does not understand why he regularly becomes a victim.
He, like other people, wants attention, respect, recognition. However, he is not able to understand the reasons for the disdainful attitude towards him and cannot behave differently. His behavior pattern is thoughtless, careless, provocative actions that make other people want to humiliate him and cause harm.
How victim behavior is formed: reasons for the victim’s position subconscious level an immature personality lays the foundation for a specific life scenario, in which all aspects are based on the perception of oneself as a victim.
Let us describe several situations that can lead to the formation of victimization.
One of the common mistakes parents make is being overly demanding of their offspring. Moms and dads really want their child to be the best: smarter, more developed, more educated. They enroll their offspring in various classes, hire him tutors, and force him to study for days on end. At the same time, parents do not at all take into account what is interesting to the child and what is not. They do not take into account how many tasks he is able to do without damage to his psyche. The child’s constant workload and lack of satisfaction causes him to internally protest. However, he cannot go against the will of his parents. After all, the slightest disobedience is followed by reproaches and punishments. Constant moral pressure leads to the fact that the baby is in nervous tension. The parents' eternal dissatisfaction, endless reproaches, insults and humiliations instill in the child a feeling of worthlessness and guilt. Small child cannot resist strict parents, and in order to please them, he has to endure nagging and try to demonstrate diligence. A thought is affirmed in the child’s subconscious: in order to be considered good and not receive punishment, you need to sacrifice yourself and do as others tell you. And this construct of thinking subsequently controls the behavior of an adult.
Another significant mistake in upbringing is the indifference of parents, lack of attention, care, and love. This happens in those families where the thoughts of adults are focused on making money, building successful career, arrangement of personal life. The workload of parents leads to the fact that they do not devote enough time to fully communicate with their offspring. They are not interested in his achievements, do not rejoice at his successes, and do not worry about problems. As a result, the baby feels unnecessary and superfluous, so he tries with all his might to demonstrate his presence. The easiest way, according to the young toddler, is to be obedient and submissive, to please and comply with the wishes of your family. Childhood soon passes, and the tendency to self-sacrifice turns into a habit.
Parental mistakes in upbringing also include overprotection of a child. This is the situation when parents take full responsibility for the life of the heir. When they overprotect him and indulge all his whims. When they decide everything for the child. When they decide who the child should communicate with, where to study, what to do. That is, those parents who do not give the child the slightest opportunity to express his opinion, to accept own solution, learn from personal mistakes. As a result, a mature person simply does not know how to take responsibility for what is happening in his life. He cannot refuse and fight back. He is not able to defend his point of view and protect his interests. A program is working against him, the essence of which is driven behavior. Moreover, such children often become victims already in the first children's groups. In kindergarten, their toys are taken away from them. At school they tease me, beat me, take away my money. On the street they throw stones at them. The inability to resist the attacks of others firmly cements a person's position as a victim.
Another factor that can lead to victim behavior is the child receiving incorrect parental attitudes. Many ancestors raise a child by forming in him a certain image of a “good” person. They put into the child’s mind the idea that a “good” person is a kind-hearted, submissive, undemanding person. The one who sacrifices her interests for the benefit of others. The one who silently endures insults and does not go against the will of others. Since for children their beloved parents are the authority, they try with all their might to make themselves a “good” person, driving into the depths of their souls natural mischief and rebellion, the desire for leadership and independence. And then the mask good man
does not allow them to show the world their independence and uniqueness. Such people are stupid and uncollected, who are not used to thinking about the consequences of their actions. Such persons are not accustomed to taking measures for their safety. They do not understand that counting a huge amount of money on a park bench can make criminals want to take all the cash. They don't know that they shouldn't leave their expensive new tablet on the beach chair. They don’t think about the fact that walking through a deserted wasteland at two in the morning can be dangerous. They do not consider it risky to vote on the road in the dark and, without hesitation, get into the car with fellow travelers with a very scary appearance. And it is precisely the careless attitude to life, the lack of basic caution and the organized provocations that become the reason that they are robbed, raped, and killed.
Another trait inherent in some people who often become victims is conflict, hostility, and aggressiveness.
Such subjects do not know how to compromise and never give in to others. They are unable to control their emotions and always show others how they feel. They are hot and unrestrained, passionate and violent. They do not recognize retreat in battle and rush into battle even with a stronger enemy. Such people are used to starting fights over the slightest trifle. They start a conflict when they are accidentally pushed or hit by an elbow. They will definitely catch up with the car whose driver overtook their car. The habit of being the instigator of conflict leads to the fact that a person himself receives severe physical injuries.
Hypnosis - magic, art, medicine? A brief educational program on hypnosis and hypnotherapy.
Hypnosis without mysticism. Memoirs of Professor Zvonikov about the research of L.P. Grimak
How to stop being a victim: getting rid of victimization
To rid an individual from the position of a victim, a tremendous amount of work is required to transform one’s own personality, change one’s character, and eliminate instilled destructive attitudes.
Since in a state of stress in which a person with a victim mentality is, he is not capable of a concentrated analysis of his personal history and cannot understand what is causing the problems, he needs the help of an experienced psychotherapist.
The psychotherapist helps the client look at his personality from the outside and identify negative qualities in his character. The doctor teaches the patient adequate methods of overcoming conflict situations. It teaches a person to live in harmony with himself and introduces how to achieve respect in society.
However, in order to completely overcome victimized behavior, it is necessary to establish the reason that was the basis for the emergence of the victim’s position. Since such events often took place in early childhood, a person simply cannot remember them. This can also be explained by the fact that the human psyche always tries to get rid of unpleasant experiences, often driving such memories into deep layers - the subconscious.
To access the subconscious sphere of the psyche, it is necessary to temporarily reduce the censorship of creation, which occurs by introducing a person into a half-asleep state - a hypnotic trance. In a trance state, it is possible to extract the required information about a traumatic event and detect attitudes that have a detrimental effect on a person’s life. After establishing the provoking conditions, the doctor uses suggestion to change the person’s interpretation of his own past. Complete removal from thinking negatively influencing elements allows the client to take a fresh look at reality and accept his individuality. Hypnosis provides cleansing internal space personality from fears, feelings of guilt, feelings of inferiority. During a person's vaccination
positive features
- Some terminology
- "Loja" can be seen a mile away
- Do you like to ride?
- By my own stupidity
- "Show off" is more valuable than life
- Drank - go home
- Let's meet, beauty?
We all have at least one acquaintance who constantly finds adventures for his restless head - they are also called “thirty-three misfortunes.” You might think that they were jinxed or cursed - but no, everything is explained logically and simply. These people themselves provoke almost everything that happens to them, and they do it unconsciously. This behavior is called victimization.
But you should not think that the victim herself is necessarily indirectly to blame for all incidents - tragic accidents can also overtake those who are disciplined, reasonable and do not seek adventure. Victim behavior only multiplies this probability.
Some terminology
Victim behavior is a term common in psychology and criminology (from the Latin victima - a creature that is sacrificed). Criminologists call victimization the defiant, immoral or illegal behavior of the victim, which became the reason for committing a crime. People say this simply: he asked for it. Victims of this kind do not at all want to find themselves in all these unpleasant situations, but they still constantly get stuck in them.
At the same time, damage to life, health and material well-being is not necessarily caused by another person - you can become a victim of an accident, various devices or mechanisms, natural disasters, armed conflict or wild animals.
Victims of crimes and accidents are studied by the science of victimology, the ideas of which originated hundreds of years ago. It was revealed that the prevention of crime in society works not only when influencing a potential criminal (from education in the family to punishing the offender as an edification to others). Victimology has long been working invisibly as one of the means of preventing crimes with the help of potential victims themselves.
This is a development in citizens conscious behavior preventing accidents, attacks and property damage. At the same time, this is a collaboration with architects who are thinking through urban space so that there are as few closed places as possible in it, convenient for committing crimes.
In school courses in most developed countries, there is victimological instruction. Schoolchildren are taught not to get into cars strangers, do not open the door to strangers, do not cross the road in the wrong places, and so on. Compliance with the most simple rules saves thousands of lives every day, and an irresponsible attitude towards them destroys them.
The tendency to engage in victim behavior largely depends on the family structure. For example, in a family where parents are responsible for their words and keep their promises, children are more likely to listen to their advice and choose the right decisions in various situations. They know that mom and dad are doing the right thing, which means their advice is correct. In addition, in families with victimized parents, the same victimized children most often grow up.
The psychology of victim behavior identifies three types of people who provoke violence against them:
Passive-submissive;
- pseudo-provoking;
- unstable.
The first is the most common (40%) and is expressed in the fact that the victim either defends himself sluggishly and uncertainly, or does not defend himself at all, fulfilling all the demands of the attacker. The second includes a quarter of the victims, and it is expressed in provoking the attacker with active advances of a sexual nature and even drinking alcohol together (if we are talking about rape) or in other actions that cause aggression on the other side. 35% of victims belong to the unstable type, and it manifests itself in a sharp change in the line of behavior, inconsistency and alternation of the previous two types.
Victim behavior of an individual is considered by psychologists as a deviation based on two factors working together or separately: personal predisposition and Negative influence society. Teenagers are the most susceptible to the psychological victimization complex.
According to criminological classification, types of victim behavior are divided into:
- active;
- intense;
- passive.
Active behavior is a provocation of a crime, and often the offender initially had no intention of attacking. Intensive behavior is one in which the victim made correct attempts to avoid danger, but they failed to save. Passive is the complete absence of resistance.
There are also many typical patterns of behavior in which people are guaranteed to be victims of the same circumstances. Let's look at them.
"Loja" can be seen a mile away
In this chapter we will talk about the provocation of physical and psychological violence, as well as about people who often “fall” for money, becoming victims of fraudulent schemes.
These individuals usually tremble for their health and life, and try to stay as far as possible from all kinds of sources of trouble - dark streets, crime-prone areas and suspicious brothers. Paradoxically, they are the ones who most often become victims of attack because they radiate fear. It’s not for nothing that they say that we attract what we fear.
It's time to understand that everyone around you is a kind of telepath, they perfectly see a person's attitude to the situation, the world around him and to himself. Anyone who is afraid is immediately noticeable, and the potential criminal immediately activates a logical chain embedded somewhere at the level of instincts - if he is afraid, then there is a reason for it: he knows that he will not be able to fight back.
Such people are easy to spot in a group - usually they are victims of ridicule and mockery, errand boys. They are always remembered when someone needs to be “whacked up,” but they regularly forget to invite them to a corporate event or wish them a happy birthday.
If you recognize yourself in this type, then the only way is to develop confidence. The easiest way to do this (especially for guys) is to sign up for a martial arts class or a gym. Knowing that he is stronger than the average person, a person radiates confidence, not fear. Most fighters or security officials, when asked: “Do you often have to use force outside of sports for self-defense,” usually answer the same thing: “Such situations have never happened before.” And the point is not that he has a mountain of muscles - hooligans and robbers also try to bypass miniature karatekas on the tenth route. They feel that it is better not to get involved.
It also doesn’t hurt to wean those around you from “riding” on yourself and treating you like a lower-class person. Learn to refuse, defend your opinion, fight for your reputation. And then in a critical situation you will have the courage to stand up for your life.
A separate category of “suckers” are those who regularly fall into the clutches of scammers. The trained eye of an adventurer immediately identifies such a person in the crowd - he is immersed in his thoughts, not involved in contact with the outside world, his gait is shuffling, his shoulders are stooped, his gaze is absent. Another reason for regular incidents of fraud is the holy belief in freebies. No matter how much our people are fooled, they continue to pray for free cheese in a mousetrap and invest money in the next MMM.
In order not to cry about lost money that has floated into the clutches of another cunning person, develop a few life rules for yourself. The first of them: freebies do not exist, and if they exist, they are very rare. It’s so rare that it’s better to refuse a “tempting” offer and save your money: you can say with million to one confidence that these are scammers or at least something is fishy here.
And understand:
- They don't hand out money on the street.
- People lose more often than they win at sweepstakes.
- If a person knows how to earn one hundred to five hundred million on the Internet, then he is unlikely to tell you about it.
- There are no cheap apartments in the city center with European-quality renovation (if you decide to buy or rent).
- There are no real jobs that pay a lot, where you don’t have to do anything, and don’t even require education or work experience.
- If something is suspiciously cheap, then most likely it is not of high quality. Or stolen.
These are not the only laws whose strict observance will save your wallet - everyone may have additional observations that will help out in a moment of doubt. The moment a person is offered the coveted freebie, his heart begins to beat faster, like Romeo in love, his brain turns off and the victim timidly hopes: maybe after all?.. None at all. Remember, get this into your head to the level of military regulations - deviation from these rules entails severe retribution.
Do you like to ride?
Exists whole line sports that regularly bring their fans to hospital bed or (God forbid) to the cemetery. Paragliding, snowboarding, skateboarding, water skiing, auto and motorcycle racing, parachuting, parkour, bungee jumping, deep sea diving, mountaineering - these are killers. Ask an experienced extreme sports enthusiast if he has any fractures and how he got them. You can answer with one hundred percent certainty - yes, and they were obtained during the performance of another difficult trick. And the mortality rate among adrenaline junkies is simply off the charts. So, if you want to be alive and healthy, play chess. This is the least traumatic sport.
A threat to life also hangs over those who cannot imagine themselves without speed. Owners of powerful cars and motorcycles driving at speeds of 150 kilometers per hour are first on the death list. And don’t think that you will be “carried away”.
What is the mortality rate among participants traffic? According to statistics in Russia in 2013, more than 27 thousand people died on the road and more than 200 thousand accidents occurred with injuries and deaths. The majority of deaths occur in young men under 40 years of age who were driving a passenger car or a motorcycle.
A minute of silence. Let's draw conclusions.
By my own stupidity
They are usually called bunglers. The person seems to understand everything, but he didn’t finish it there, he forgot, he didn’t think well here. He didn’t turn off the oven, didn’t fix the brakes in time, and was daydreaming while crossing the road. This is inattention, carelessness and negligence in relation to one’s own safety.
There is more of a character trait here that is difficult to fight. You just need to learn to live with it. Forget about the oven - buy from electronic timer; If you forget to take timely measures to save your own life (such as fixing brakes or insulating an exposed wire) - make “reminders”; sleep on the go - choose safe routes.
But the peak of stupidity occurs among lazy people. When you are too lazy to reach a pedestrian crossing, it shortens the path through a busy highway. Too lazy to go to a car service center, and he drives a broken car. Too lazy to do it right - so he does it anyway. And then - oh, how did that happen? Probably just...
No, guys, nothing happens on its own. If you want to live happily ever after, engage in self-education and eradication of laziness.
"Show off" is more valuable than life
Our people love to show off their level of wealth - nothing can be done about it. But it is precisely the demonstration of all kinds material goods and attracts criminals. Having the habit of waving a wad of money in a store, sooner or later you will attract someone who wants to accompany you to the nearest gateway. Chatting carelessly on an expensive phone, you are already attracting the glances of envious people. By hanging yourself with gold, you lure hunters looking for easy money.
Most often, provocation of theft in the form of displaying money, gadgets and expensive jewelry does not happen deliberately. This could be a corner of a wallet sticking out of a pocket or a smartphone lying carelessly in an open bag. Here we are more likely talking about inattention and carelessness. Of course, it's convenient to put your wallet in the back pocket of your jeans, but it's just as convenient to take it out.
By the way, iPhones and other accessories rich life are increasingly becoming the prerogative (ridiculously) of students and middle managers. Successful businessmen They often use simple phone models and do not burden themselves with wearing gold. They don’t need to prove anything to anyone - they already know what they’re worth.
And in the Western civilized world, everyone has long understood that happiness does not lie in “show-off” - gadgets and accessories successful person modest, laconic and discreet. And they certainly don’t wear finger-thick chains around their necks.
Do you still carry a “purse” with money with you? Welcome to the 21st century, where payment cards, terminals and Internet banking were invented long ago.
Drank - go home
We have a fairly impressive category of citizens who absolutely do not know how to drink. Although if you look from the other side, they know how, and how! What kind of health do you have to have to get drunk like that? And no, slowly drink a bottle of vodka with a good snack and go home. No - after the first bottle, our man is attacked by courage, he goes for the second, and then polishes it off with beer. And after that he wanders with a staggering gait at three o’clock in the morning through the dark streets.
The most vulnerable citizens are the man or woman swaying unsteadily from side to side. They are so drunk that they cannot resist the attack. You can simply approach them together, hold their hands and take out all the valuables. And the next day they won’t even remember the faces of the attackers. Some, in a fit of alcoholic generosity, give their wallets to the robbers themselves.
If you don't know how to control yourself, don't drink. Or learn to drink in moderation. Or at least take a taxi all the way to the entrance. If there is reason to be afraid, ask the taxi driver to shine a light on the door until you close it.
Let's meet, beauty?
It is believed that victims of rapist attacks are exceptionally beautiful young ladies in miniskirts. But no - they attack the decently dressed, the ugly, and those who are well over their age... It's not a matter of appearance or clothing - the problem is behavior.
Of course, there is no need to wander around half naked at night in a crime-prone area. It's clear as day. But women are raped in quiet areas, in elevators, in hallways, and even in their own homes.
The most dangerous behavior expressed by girls who flirt with strangers for sexual reasons. She herself may not understand what she is doing - she just likes to flirt. But you can flirt in different ways. Violence occurs when a man with a predisposition to aggressive behavior decides that the lady doesn’t mind. And when it turns out that she was just flirting and had no intention of doing anything like that with him, a whole series of negative reactions are triggered. She decided to ditch me! Oh, so, are you planning to play? Along with physical arousal, resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge grow.
“Our motto is invincible - we will excite and we will not give in!” Such games are still possible with guys you know well, who are guaranteed not to raise their hand. But this, at least, is not beautiful. But in the case of a stranger, retribution can follow immediately.
Well, of course, you don’t need to visit unknown men. Never, under any pretext. Even to very polite ones.
If we talk about the situation of a girl/rapist/dark street, then a cowardly and insecure woman is most at risk of becoming a victim of a maniac. Limp signals and silent horror are perceived by the attacker as permission to act. But if a girl intends to defend her honor with everyone possible ways, the rapist will read this on her face and will prefer to choose another, more “compliant” one. Because no one wants to walk around with a scratched face or get their knee hit by a crime weapon.
Accidents are not accidental - this is what the hero of the film “Route 60” said. And indeed, our future is mostly determined not by chance, but by our own actions. And as can be seen from everything written, what seems like an evil fate and an unpleasant surprise is just a pattern emanating from certain actions. We just need to open our eyes and realize our own responsibility for what is happening to us, learn to live safely and, as little as possible, create situations leading to tragic consequences.
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Everyone in their life can remember a friend about whom they say “he is an eternal victim” or “he is constantly having adventures.” In other words, such people constantly get into trouble or trouble. This is often explained by a curse or evil eye. In fact, everything is much more banal: in psychology this phenomenon is called victim behavior or, in other words, the behavior of a victim.
Rice. Victim behavior: a person with “victim” behavior
What is victimization behavior?
This term has roots in psychology and criminology. This behavior of a person is called provoking, defiant, and is called the cause of a crime. People call such people “he asked for it, he got it.” A person with victim behavior does not want to be at the center of negative events - he does it unconsciously.
In psychology, there are several types of victim behavior. The first of them and the most common is passive-submissive. In this situation, the victim completely submits to the attacker. His characteristic feature- absence of resistance or extremely weak manifestation of it. The second type of behavior is called pseudo-provoking. In this case, the person behaves with feigned aggressiveness. The victim may behave openly sexually when threatened with rape.
Why do you need to be a victim?
Often the cause of victimized behavior is family. For example, if parents always follow their words and keep their promises, children are more likely to listen to their words. It has been scientifically proven that if parents are carriers of victim behavior, then they will unconsciously transfer it to their children.
So, what is a person with victim behavior? As a rule, such individuals are seriously concerned about their health and well-being, try not to visit crime-prone areas of the city and avoid meeting with “brothers”. However, it is precisely such individuals who usually get into trouble. What's the matter? The fact is that they radiate fear and thus are a magnet for illegal actions. Unconsciously, a person demonstrates his feelings and is a kind of catalyst for the aggressiveness of other people. In a group of such people, it is immediately obvious: they are the subject of bullying and ridicule, they are used to carry out ordinary tasks and no one invites them to corporate parties or birthdays.
How to deal with victim behavior?
The path ahead will not be easy. Key moment- . To do this you will need to go to the martial arts section or Gym. That in itself adds confidence. Learn to defend your rights in a team. Even if you occupy a lower position, this is not a reason to humiliate you and wipe your feet on you. Carry out your responsibilities clearly and remember: You are not obligated to do other people’s orders.
A separate category of people are victims of scammers. As a rule, they are gullible and naive, so they are used for their own purposes. Such people need to remember that freebies, like easy money, do not exist. If they make you mega profitable proposition, then this is, first of all, a reason to be wary: “Isn’t this a deception?”
People with “show-offs” require a separate conversation. They love to show off their wealth, shake wads of money and behave provocatively. Therefore, they themselves are a tasty morsel for robbers. Often such people throw their smartphones anywhere, carry wallets in their pockets - in other words, they attract criminals in every possible way. Therefore, in Europe it is becoming popular not to show off your wealth. , which means there is no point in buying expensive things for this purpose. Try not to show your wealth - do not tempt people around you.
Most likely, you have already noticed that there are people who are catastrophically “unlucky”. Perhaps you even consider yourself one of those “unlucky” people who are constantly criticized, scolded, often rude, always deceived, and so on. In this case, it is possible that you are a victimized person.
In science, the behavior of a victim is called victimization. The term “victim behavior” and “victimization” (from the English victim - victim) is used in psychology and criminology. This is a kind of provoking behavior that attracts the negative attention of people and various kinds of antisocial individuals. Victimization is also a person’s tendency to get into situations that can cause harm to him and his health.
The person himself with the psychology of a victim is called a victimized personality. Such individuals are susceptible to rapid emotional exhaustion and therefore easily succumb to most manipulations.
Victimized individuals are people who are characterized by victimized behavior. Victimization is a person's tendency to engage in behavior in which he or she becomes the target of attack by other people. Simply put, victimization is a triggering behavior that makes a person a victim.
The presence of problems with victimization also gave rise to a field of knowledge - victimology. Victimology is a branch of criminology that studies the process of victimization. Victimization is the process by which a person acquires a set of behavioral errors that make him a victim of a crime.
Problems in the lives of victimized people are often similar to one another.
I wonder why this happens?! Why is it that some of the people in this category are so unlucky that when their life ends sadly, they even say about them: “It was to be expected.” Other “unlucky” people continue to get into trouble with enviable consistency. In the end, they may begin to be overcome by a feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness... Further more: neuropsychiatric disorders, severe or various types of addictions, and if not treated, then suicide is possible.
It should be noted that a person with victim behavior does not always cause trouble for himself because own desire experience some kind of suffering (that would be masochism). He gets into them because he makes behavioral mistakes. We will briefly look at some of these errors in this article.
Victim personality, victimization. Causes victimization
Why is victimization bad? First, you should pay attention to common cause all the mistakes of these people - victims of troubles. They are constantly tuned in negative side events in their lives and cannot tear themselves away from their worries about this. Figuratively speaking, they become “stuck” in a negative state. Their degree of immersion in themselves and their negativity prevents them from seeing something good in their life and reflecting on their prospects.
Gradually, almost completely, the ability to quickly switch attention, control the situation, set goals, adequately assess events and see the consequences of one’s actions is lost. The result of such “work” on the internal plane is clearly visible on the outside, that is, it is reflected in the entire appearance: gait, posture, face, etc.
Victim
VICTIMATED APPEARANCE
If we talk about facial expression, then it holds a kind of mask (or stamp) of indecision, detachment, vulnerability, possibly gloominess or universal sadness. This seal is a beacon indicating easy prey and distinguishes a person from the crowd, making him a target for various fortune tellers, maniacs, robbers, extortionists, etc.
Professor Betty Grayson conducted an interesting experiment. She showed the criminals sitting in different, unknown to each other, video recordings of people walking along the streets. These were just ordinary passers-by, belonging to various social and age groups. They didn't know they were being filmed, so they acted naturally.
The researchers asked the prisoners to choose which bystander in the video they would use as their intended victim. Most pointed to the same people. Features of “” complement what was described above about facial expression: uncertain, awkward gait; hunched shoulders with a bowed head; movements are restricted; lost look; sluggish, extinct, avoiding contact gaze.
It is interesting that victimized individuals, in accordance with some of their characteristics, are divided into three categories: autovictimic, victimized, and hypervictimized.
TYPES OF VICTIMIC PERSONALITIES AND EXAMPLES OF VICTIMIZED BEHAVIOR
Autovictimized
Autovictims are those people who voluntarily took on the role of victim. If they are presented with a conditional situation in which there is a victim, a persecutor, a savior, plus some other roles, and asked what role they see themselves in here, then the autovictim will identify himself with the role of the victim. That is, in most situations they are determined to have a sad outcome and their suffering.
This state is called a rental attitude and it occurs, most often, against the background of support from the environment. That is, a person’s environment is overly concerned about his well-being. To people, a victimized person seems weak, helpless, he evokes feelings of pity, sympathy and a desire to help. This is what they do, thus perpetuating his desire to complain about life.
The behavior of all these people together with the victim forms a vicious circle () from which it is difficult to get out: the more they sympathize and help the autovictim, the more he expects help and support, the more he complains about life, so that he can be helped more. He himself “relaxes” more and more, hoping that everything will be done for him, everything will be decided, they will always help, etc. As a result, one becomes more and more lazy and helpless, and this, in turn, gives rise to new reasons for complaints.
A victimized person can drag everything into such a game large quantity of people. Many families throughout their lives cannot escape the roles assigned by the victim. Among those “involved” there may also be compassionate neighbors, work colleagues, and friends... In general, everyone who can be nearby. Concerned about the well-being of the person under their care, people do not even suspect that this excessive concern of theirs has a very negative effect on the object of their tireless attention. And they, in fact, “dance to his tune,” thinking that they are helping with all their might.
Further development and self-realization of a person become simply impossible in such conditions. Vitality and the desire to take active actions is lost, a state of hopelessness and meaninglessness of existence arises - after all, a person’s life passes without his own active participation... It is quite logical that thoughts about death become more and more often his companions, under apparently quite stable conditions (a prosperous family, material wealth, etc.) .d.).
If a family has raised an autovictim, then his future depends on the reference (meaningful to him) group in which he is located. That is, if friends like to sit in company and drink, most likely he will become an alcoholic, if there is a sociable neighbor or classmate who is a drug addict, he is more likely to become a drug addict. It doesn’t matter what gender this autovictim is. If no one in the autovictim’s reference group suffers from addiction or this causes a negative assessment, then he cannot avoid depression. This is the sad choice of those who like to manipulate others through self-pity.
A good target for scammers: they listened to complaints about life, sympathized, called her a cool guy (girl) with a deep nature, confirmed that the whole world cannot understand such a subtle emotional nature and can be taken with “bare hands.”
Victimized
Unlike the previous personality type, this type did not choose the role of the victim. This role is prescribed to a person by society. It is this that puts the victim within a certain set framework of behavior. That is, his environment, with its norms, principles, vision of the role of this person in the family or at work, constantly dictates to him how he should behave. He is presented with demands, either explicitly or implicitly, such as: “a good father does this…”, “this is expected from a good husband…” or “can a real man do this…?” Either with words or by reaction to deeds, the environment manipulates the person, as if sticking a label on him, and he, in turn, in accordance with this label, believes that he is forced to live according to a given program expected by this environment.
A person may suffer from this role imposed on him, but will humbly fulfill it, because he either sees no other way out or is very afraid of public opinion. In essence, this is a crushed, faceless person. He constantly faces a choice: “Who should I please now? The team, the boss, the wife, the mother-in-law, the friend?” What if all these individuals are influential? If suddenly, their interests come into conflict with each other and they begin to put equal force on the victim in different directions? What do you think might come to his mind then? Is it easy not to fall into? Those who could not cope with this task often end up committing suicide. For example, I became aware of one such case where a man committed suicide after his mistress became pregnant. On the one hand there is a family: a wife with two children, on the other a mistress who begins to make her demands. An insoluble dilemma in which he himself was entangled.
This is how difficult it is for people if they have not found the right guideline in life and when they do not have clear goals and principles...
Hypervictimized (victim aggressor)
Hypervictims are activists from victims. They really get into trouble everywhere, because in life they are dissatisfied with their position. This results in constant irritability, anxiety, restlessness, aggression, and a perpetual bad mood. In addition to everything, they can be spurred on by a feeling of guilt imposed from the outside. This is how people appear who do not think about the consequences of their behavior, driven only by the satisfaction of an acute need to pour out their dissatisfaction on others.
Since the basic needs of men and women are different, the behavior of hypervictims is often dictated by their gender. For example, women have a basic need to be loved... But when a woman is given the opinion from the outside that only beautiful people are loved, she begins to make serious mistakes: she is constantly looking for how to decorate herself, improve her figure, how to do impressive makeup and hairstyle. Although it is important to be well-groomed, for many it reaches the point of absurdity and they end up in one of the psychological stages. And the series begins plastic surgery, expensive salons, a lot of clothes, jewelry, paints... It’s not without reason that ““ is one of the popular women’s queries on the Internet.” And it is precisely such women who are more likely than others to be the object of aggression and victims of attacks from people who notice their weakness (dependence on the assessment of others).
Instead of asking the question: “How to become beautiful?”, isn’t it better to think about how to become: a good housewife, mother, wife; how to learn to love; ... Or at worst: “How to become smart?”
Why did the pursuit of beauty take away the ability to think and girls began to think that men would be rude, uncouth, and empty-headed... as long as it’s fashionable. So some of them dress like this, and go to such places, and at such times, that they unwittingly become a target for the far from best part of the male sex. 
Hypervictimized individuals are distinguished by a crisis response style when difficulties arise and overcome. Pessimism, reluctance and inability to enjoy life, as well as self-pity are constant companions of hypervictims. Their behavior often creates conflict situations, in which they find themselves the victim, showing negative emotions and bringing them down without thinking about the consequences. So, for example, a mother or wife, who constantly overwhelms with their claims, grief, etc. son or husband, can raise with my own hands a maniac who then looks for a victim similar to them. Mentally, for a long time and more than once, he wanted to kill this relative of his, but there is no way to do it unnoticed. Therefore, a maniac can transfer his aggression to other, similar women, imagining a specific person in the place of the victim. Hypervictimized girls are just the “suitable option.”
Well, if such a maniac himself is physically weak, then he will look for a weaker and helpless victim of the autovictim type. The maniacs themselves are also from the environment of victims, since they are distorted, by the pressure of people or circumstances, individuals with a weak psyche. Balanced women who are able to calmly and politely ask: “Man, are you having any difficulties?” are harassed much less often.
Moreover, in such moments of “harassment”, the balance between “politeness and confidence” is very important. Strong people They are usually polite in their interactions in general and with strangers in particular, and are confident that they will be treated correctly.
Examples of behavior of hypervictims
If we talk about hypervictimized men, their behavior is often driven by the desire to show that he is a man. He constantly wants to see and make sure that he is respected. Therefore, he is looking for reasons to once again prove this. He often asks himself the question: “How to become a real man?” In fact, this question shows that the person does not feel respected. If a man is a good head of the family, father, husband, and if at work he is valued as a specialist, then such a question will not even occur to him. We are hypervictims, constantly doubting: “Am I a man or not?”, “Do they respect me here or not?” Therefore, he can participate in competitions “who can drink the most” or do something dangerous, but impressive to others.
In the past I had a neighbor - bright clear example such hypervictim. He went through “prison school,” and his wife’s sister managed to marry a policeman (now a policeman). They lived next door - on the same site, behind each other's wall. I often had to observe the following picture: after some kind of party, accompanied by the consumption of alcoholic drinks, this neighbor began to kick the policeman in the door and yell: “Get out, you filthy cop!” After the “cop’s” wife from behind the door began to persuade him to calm down, he yelled even more: “What are you scared of?! I am not afraid of you! I know you’re at home, come out.” The policeman himself joined the conversation, also asking him to calm down, because he has two small children and they might wake up. But this did not stop our hero, he continued to yell, kick, threaten and call him names...
After some time, a knock was heard on my door, because it was at the opposite end of the corridor. And if there was something standing in the corridor, then this blow was accompanied by the roar of falling objects. Then the screams of this hero’s wife began and then the dragging of his body. According to this scenario, events unfolded constantly and quite often, until the policeman’s family moved to another apartment. It also always ended the same way - with one blow on my door. And after that there were no more screams, except for the wailing wife.
It is interesting that this hero could not but know how his performance would end. It is clear that the situation requires him to somehow calm down. Any sane person would be surprised why he does this if he knows in advance what will happen to him. But for a hypervictim who wants to prove that he is a man, this is the most, one might say, protected situation. He knows that they won't beat him hard, just once, because the policeman is a law-abiding citizen who will not kick him to death, as street teenagers or other disadvantaged elements might do. But what an opportunity to be a hero and show all the neighbors and relatives what a man he is (so he thinks).
Some people like to ride around on motorcycles or snowmobiles, which, by the way, are even called “oligarch killers.” Also, hypervictims include people who are confident that a car should not drive less than one hundred and thirty kilometers per hour. This category also includes those who like to flaunt the fact that they have a lot of money and can fearlessly take it out and count it on the street.
Girls who may get into random cars or vote on the road late at night also put themselves at risk and are hypervictimized. You shouldn’t even look closely into a man’s eyes, especially if it’s a stranger. He will definitely decipher this as an unambiguous sentence.
It is generally very important not to make eye contact with suspicious subjects. Konrad Lorenz, an expert in animal psychology, wrote that when meeting an unfamiliar dog, you should not look into its eyes. The animal perceives such a look as a challenge and is likely to react aggressively. A criminal is in some ways similar to such an animal, so psychologists give recommendations to those who are taken hostage by terrorists - try to look out the window, at the floor, or read something - the main thing is not to meet the terrorist’s gaze so as not to attract his attention to yourself.
HOW TO INTERACT WITH VICTIMS?
To understand how to communicate with a victimized person, it is necessary to take into account which category of “victims” the person belongs to. If this is autovictim, then his behavior and, accordingly, your behavior towards him, is described in detail (the role of the victim). You just need to determine which role in relation to this Victim you choose most often and get rid of this role.
If you are forced to communicate with a “pure” victim, then he must be taught adequate behavior. Most often, these are either inexperienced or mentally weakened people who need emotional and informational support (development of self-confidence, orientation in society).
Hypervictims are the most difficult to correct. Here it can help (if he has his own desire and desire) to remind moral standards, requirements of state laws and morality.
If you want to check how victimized you are, you can answer the test questions. And if the answers turn out to indicate that you are more external than internal, then perhaps you need help.
VICTIMS BUT NOT VICTIMS
If you have a question: “Which people are NOT victims, because not everyone who became a victim was a victim?”, then here are some characteristics of NON-VICTIMS. These people are responsible, they are friendly to others, and moderately demanding of themselves. These are conscious individuals who well understand the consequences of their actions. Life's difficulties are treated as solutions to assigned tasks. They do not believe that anyone should do everything for them. They know how to set and achieve goals. Emotionally stable.
If you have questions on the topic, you can ask them to the author of the article, Marina Nikolaevna Lebedeva
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