home > Wall repair > Healing injuries and transforming liz burbo masks are five traumas that prevent you from being yourself. I remind you that to love unconditionally is to accept, even if you don't agree, even if you don't understand the reasons. The fugitive has a weak, powerless voice

Healing injuries and transforming liz burbo masks are five traumas that prevent you from being yourself. I remind you that to love unconditionally is to accept, even if you don't agree, even if you don't understand the reasons. The fugitive has a weak, powerless voice

Fugitive Physique (Rejected Injury)

Let's look in the dictionaries what the words "reject", "rejected" mean. Dictionaries give several synonymous definitions: push away; remove, refuse; not tolerate; to not allow; expose.

Often people find it difficult to grasp the difference between the two concepts - "reject" and "leave". To leave someone means to move away from him for the sake of someone or something else. To reject means to push away, not to want to see next to you and in your life. The rejecter uses the expression: "I don't want" and the one who leaves says: "I can't".

Being rejected is a very deep trauma; the rejected feels it as a renunciation of his very essence, as a denial of his right to exist. Of all five traumas, the feeling of being rejected appears first, which means that the cause of such a trauma in the life of a person appears earlier than others. The soul that has returned to Earth to heal this trauma is rejected from the very moment of birth, and in many cases even earlier.

A suitable example is an unwanted child who was born “by chance”. If the soul of this infant has not coped with the experience of being rejected, that is, if it has not managed to remain itself and be in prosperity, despite rejection, then it will inevitably experience the state of being rejected. Bright case - child wrong gender. There are many other reasons why a parent rejects their child; it is very important for us here to understand that only those souls who need to experience the rejected experience are attracted to a parent or parents of a certain type: these parents will inevitably reject their child.

It often happens that the parent has no intention of rejecting the child, nevertheless, the child feels rejected for every, even a small reason - after an offensive remark, or when one of the parents experiences anger, impatience, etc. If the wound is not healed, it is very easy to open it up. A person who feels rejected is biased. He interprets all events through the filters of his trauma, and the feeling of being rejected only intensifies, although perhaps not true.

From the day the baby feels rejected, it begins to develop a mask Fugitive. I have had to observe and treat many times regression to the embryonic state, and I became convinced that a person with the trauma of the rejected still in the womb feels very small, tries to take up as little space as possible, and he also constantly has a feeling of darkness, gloom. This confirmed my hunch that the mask fugitive may begin to form even before birth.

I ask you to note that from now until the end of the book I will use the term "fugitive" to refer to a person suffering from a rejection complex. Mask fugitive- this is another, new personality, character, developing as a means of evading the suffering of the rejected.

This mask manifests itself physically in the form elusive physique, that is, a body (or body part) that seems to want to disappear. Narrow, compressed, it seems to be specially designed so that it is easier to slip away, take up less space, not be visible among others. This body does not want to take up much space, it takes on the form escaping, escaping and all his life he strives to occupy as little space as possible. When one sees a person who looks like an incorporeal ghost - "skin and bones" - one can expect with a high degree of certainty that he is suffering from a deep trauma of a rejected being.

Fugitive- this is a person who doubts his right to exist; it even seems that it is not fully embodied. Therefore, her body gives the impression of an unfinished, incomplete, consisting of fragments poorly fitted to each other. The left side of the face, for example, may differ markedly from the right, and this can be seen with the naked eye, there is no need to check with a ruler. Remember, by the way, how many people have you seen with perfectly symmetrical sides of the body?

When I talk about an “incomplete” body, I mean those parts of the body where whole pieces seem to be missing (buttocks, chest, chin, ankles are much smaller than calves, hollows in the back, chest, abdomen, etc. ).

Seeing how such a person holds himself (shoulders are shifted forward, hands are usually pressed to the body, etc.), we say that his body crooked. It seems that something is blocking the growth of the body or its individual parts; or as if some parts of the body differ from others in age; and some people look like adults in a child's body.

A deformed body that evokes pity speaks eloquently of the fact that this person carries within himself the trauma of the rejected. Before being born, his soul chose this body of its own to place itself in a situation conducive to overcoming this trauma.

characteristic feature fugitive are small face and eyes. The eyes appear empty or absent because the person with this injury tends to retreat to his own world or "fly to the moon" (astral plane) at every opportunity. Often these eyes are filled with fear. Watching the face fugitive, you can literally feel the mask on it, especially on the eyes. He himself often imagines that he is looking at the world through a mask. Some fugitives admitted to me that the feeling of a mask on their face sometimes does not go away for a whole day, while for others it lasts for several minutes. It doesn't really matter how long it lasts; the important thing is that this is their way of not being present in what is happening around.

Not to be present, so as not to suffer.

The presence of all these signs indicates that the trauma of the rejected person is very deep, much deeper than in a person with a single sign - for example, only eyes fugitive. If the body has, say, half of the features fugitive, then we can assume that this person wears a protective mask not all the time, but about half. This may refer, for example, to a person with a fairly large body, but a small face and small eyes. fugitive or to a person with a large body and very short ankles. If not all the signs of the rejected are observed, then the trauma is not so deep.

Wearing a mask is not being yourself. As a child, we develop not my demeanor, believing that it will protect us. The first reaction of a human being who feels rejected is a desire to run away, slip away, disappear. A child who feels rejected and creates a mask fugitive usually lives in an imaginary world. For this reason, he is most often intelligent, prudent, quiet and does not cause problems.

Alone, he amuses himself with his imaginary world and builds castles in the air. He may even believe that his parents are not real, that they mixed up newborns in the hospital. Such children invent many ways to run away from home; one of them is an expressed desire to go to school. However, having come to school and feeling rejected there too (or rejecting themselves), they go to their own world, "to the moon." One woman told me that she felt like a “tourist” at school.

On the other hand, a child of such a warehouse wants to be noticed, although he is not sure of his right to exist. I remember one girl who hid behind a closet at the very moment when her parents were meeting guests at the doorstep of the house. When they noticed that the child was gone, everyone rushed to look for her. She did not leave her shelter, although she heard well how the anxiety of adults was growing. She said to herself: “I want them to find me. I want them to understand that I exist.". This girl was so unsure of her right to exist that she arranged situations that could confirm this right.

Typology of characters (Alexander Lowen and Liz Burbo)

1. The trauma of the rejected - the mask of the fugitive - the schizoid type

Characteristics of a rejected person's injury:

Awakening trauma: from the moment of conception to one year; with same-sex parent. Does not feel the right to exist.

Mask: fugitive.

Parent: Same gender.

Body: compressed, narrow, fragile, fragmented.

Eyes: small, with an expression of fear; impression of a mask around the eyes.

Dictionary: "nothing", "no one", "does not exist", "disappear", "I'm sick of ...".

Character: Detachment from the material. The pursuit of excellence. Intelligence. Transitions through stages of great love to periods of deep hatred. He does not believe in his right to exist.

Sexual difficulties. He considers himself useless, worthless. Strives for privacy. Stewed. Knows how to be invisible. Finds a variety of ways to escape. Easily goes to the astral plane. He thinks he is not understood. Can't let her inner child live in peace.

Most afraid of: panic.

Nutrition: Appetite often disappears due to the influx of emotions or fear. Eats small portions. Sugar, alcohol and drugs as escape routes. predisposition to anorexia.

Typical diseases: Skin, diarrhea, arrhythmia, respiratory dysfunction, allergies, vomiting, fainting, coma, hypoglycemia, diabetes, depression, suicidal tendencies, psychosis.

Runaway Diseases:

Among other diseases characteristic of the fugitive, we also see disorders respiratory functions, especially during a panic.

The fugitive is exposed allergies is a reflection of the rejection that he has experienced or is experiencing in relation to certain foods or substances.

He can choose and vomit as an indication of his distaste for a particular person or situation. I even heard such statements from teenagers: “I want to vomit my mother (or father).” It is not uncommon for a fugitive to want to "vomit up" a situation or a hateful person, and may express their feelings by saying, "That's a sickening person" or "Your talk makes me sick." All of these are ways to express your desire to reject someone or something.

Dizziness or fainting- also suitable means if you really want to avoid a situation or a person.

In serious cases, the fugitive is saved coma.

A fugitive suffering agoraphobia, uses this disorder when he wants to avoid certain situations and people that can cause him to panic (more on this behavioral disorder in chapter 3).

If a fugitive abuses sugar, he can provoke pancreatic diseases such as hypoglycemia or diabetes.

If he has accumulated too much hatred for the parent as a result of the suffering experienced and experienced by him as a rejected being, and if he has reached his emotional and mental limit, then he may develop depressive or manic-depressive state. If he contemplates suicide, he does not speak of it, and when he proceeds to action, he provides for everything so as not to fail. Those who often talk about suicide and are usually mistaken when they go into action belong rather to the category of the abandoned; they will be discussed in the next chapter.

Since childhood, it is difficult for a fugitive to recognize himself as a full-fledged human being, so he strives to be like a hero or heroine he adores, he is ready to get lost, to dissolve in his idol - for example, a young girl longs to be Marilyn Monroe; this lasts until she decides to be someone else.

The danger of such a deviation in behavior is that over time it can turn into psychosis.

The structure of the schizoid character.

Description

The term "schizoid" comes from "schizophrenia" and means a person who has a predisposition to the schizophrenic condition. This includes the splitting of the personality as a whole, for example, thinking is separated from feelings. What a person thinks seems to have little apparent connection with how he feels or behaves; withdrawing into oneself, breaking or losing contact with the world or with external reality. The schizoid individual is not a schizophrenic and may never become one, but the predisposition to this disease is present in his personality, usually well compensated.

The term schizoid describes a person whose sense of self is diminished, whose ego is weak and whose contact with the body and with the senses is severely weakened.

Bioenergetic conditions

Energy is withdrawn from the peripheral structures of the body, namely from those parts through which the body contacts the outside world: the face, hands, genitals and legs. They are not fully energetically connected with the center, i.e., excitation from the center does not flow freely to them, but is blocked by chronic muscle tension at the base of the head, shoulders, pelvis and hip joints. Consequently, the functions performed by them are separated from the feelings in the human heart.

The internal charge tends to "freeze" in the region of the center. As a result, a weak impulse is formed. However, the charge is explosive (due to its pressure) and can break out in the form of violence or murder. This happens when the defenses can no longer hold back and the body is overwhelmed with a huge amount of energy that it cannot handle. The personality is divided into many parts, as a result of which a schizophrenic state develops.

The defense consists of a pattern of muscular tensions that, together, continuously hold the personality, preventing the peripheral structures from being filled with feelings and energy. Muscular tensions, such as those described above, are responsible for disconnecting the peripheral organs from contact with the center.

Thus, protection is problematic. In the waist area there is an energy splitting of the body, and as a result of this - the disintegration of the integrity of the upper and lower halves of the body. Bioenergetic analysis is shown in the diagram.

Physical aspects

In most cases, patients with these features have a narrow and constricted body. Where there are paranoid elements in the personality, the body is fuller and more athletic.

The main areas of tension are at the base of the skull, in the joints of the shoulders, legs, pelvis and in the area of the diaphragm. The latter is usually so powerful that it divides the body into two parts. The main contractions are concentrated in the small muscles that surround the joints. Therefore, in this type of character, one can observe either extreme rigidity or superflexibility of the joints.

The face is mask-like. The eyes, although not empty, as in schizophrenia, are lifeless and do not make contact. The arms hang, more like extensions than extensions of the body. Feet tense and cold; they are often everted; body weight is transferred to the outside of the foot.

There is often a noticeable disparity between the two halves of the body. In many cases, they do not appear to belong to the same person.

For example, under stress, when a person assumes an arc position, the line of his body often seems to be broken. The head, torso and legs are often at an angle to each other.

Psychological ratios

The person does not feel whole /14/. The tendency to disunity, which occurs at the bodily level due to insufficient energy connection between the head and body, leads to a split personality. So, you can find a pose of arrogance combined with humiliation or a virgin who feels like a whore. In the latter case, the body is, as it were, divided into two parts - upper and lower.

In the schizoid character, hypersensitivity is found due to a weak ego boundary, which is a psychological counterpart of a lack of peripheral charge. This weakness reduces the ego's resistance to external pressure and forces it into self-defense.

Such people avoid close, sensual relationships. In fact, it is very difficult for them to establish such relationships because of the lack of energy in the peripheral structures.

The desire to always motivate actions gives schizoid behavior a shade of insincerity. This has been called “as if” behavior, i.e. it seems to be based on feelings, but the actions themselves are not an expression of feelings.

Here it seems important to give some data on the origin of this structure. These are the summarized observations of those who have studied this problem, treated and analyzed patients with such disorders.

In all cases, there is clear evidence that patients were rejected by their mother at an early age, and this was perceived by them as an existential threat. The rejection was accompanied by covert and often overt hostility on her part.

Rejection and hostility have developed in the patient the fear that any attempts at contact, demands or self-assertion will lead to the destruction of himself.

From childhood comes a lack of any strong positive feelings of security or joy, frequent nightmares.

Typical for such patients is both isolated and unemotional behavior with occasional outbursts of rage, which is called autistic.

If either parent intervened repeatedly in the child's life during the oedipal period (for example, for sexual reasons), which is very common, then a paranoid element was added to the main symptom. This made possible some activity at the end of childhood or in adulthood.

In all this, the child has no choice but to separate himself from reality (intense imagination life) and from his body (abstract mind) in order to survive. Due to the fact that his main feelings were horror and deadly rage, the child was fenced off from all feelings by self-defense.

Dance style:

The fugitive doesn't like dancing. If he dances, then his movements are minimal and inexpressive, he does not want to be noticed. It seems to say on it: "Do not look at me for a long time."

Vehicle selection:

· The fugitive likes inconspicuous cars of a soft color.

Sitting posture:

· The fugitive shrinks, trying to take up as little space as possible in the chair. He likes to tuck his legs under him very much: when he is not connected to the ground, it is easier to run away.

Fears:

· The fugitive is most afraid of panic. He can't really realize it because he hides, disappears as soon as he starts to panic, or even before it starts. Surrounding people see panic without difficulty - his eyes almost always betray him.

Injuries by gender:

· The trauma of being rejected is experienced with a same-sex parent. That is, the fugitive feels rejected by persons of the same sex as himself. He accuses them of rejecting him and is more angry with them than with himself. On the other hand, when he is rejected by a person of the opposite sex, he rejects himself even more. Accordingly, in this case, his anger at himself dominates. At the same time, there is a high probability that this person of the opposite sex did not reject him, but left him.

Injury Healing:

your injury rejected close to healing if you gradually take up more and more space, if you begin to assert yourself. And if someone pretends that you are not there, it does not unsettle you. There are fewer and fewer situations in which you are afraid to panic.

2. The trauma of the abandoned - the mask of the addict - oral type

Characteristics of an abandoned person's injury:

Awakening trauma: Between one and three years old, with a parent of the opposite sex. Lack of emotional nourishment or certain type of nourishment.

Mask: Dependent.

Body: Elongated, thin, devoid of tone, sagging; the legs are weak, the back is twisted, the arms seem excessively long and hang down along the body, certain parts of the body look flabby, sagging.

Eyes: Big, sad. Attractive look.

Dictionary: “absent”, “alone”, “can’t stand”, “eat”, “don’t leave”.

Character: Victim. Tends to merge with someone or something. Needs presence, attention, support, reinforcement. Experiencing difficulties when you have to do something or decide alone.

Asks for advice, but does not always follow it. Children's voice. Accepts rejection painfully. Sadness. Cries easily. Causes pity. Either happy or sad. Physically clings to others. Nervous. Stage star. Strives for independence. Loves sex.

Most afraid of: Loneliness.

Nutrition: A good appetite. Bulimia. Likes soft food. Eats slowly.

Typical diseases: Back pain, asthma, bronchitis, migraines, hypoglycemia, agoraphobia, diabetes, adrenal disease, myopia, hysteria, depression, rare diseases (requiring long-term attention), incurable diseases.

Diseases of the abandoned:

Asthma- a disease characterized by difficult, painful breathing. In metaphysical terms, this disease indicates that a person takes more than he should, and gives with great difficulty.

Problems with bronchi also highly probable, since the bronchi are metaphysically associated with the family. If the addict suffers from bronchial diseases, then this indicates his family dissatisfaction: it seems to him that he receives too little from the family, which is too dependent on it. He would like to believe that he has a solid place in the family, and not fuss, seeking this place.

Under the influence of his fusional subpersonality, the addict attracts problems pancreas(hypoglycemia and diabetes) and adrenal glands. His whole digestive system is unstable, because he considers his nutrition to be inadequate, even if physically it is quite normal. Despite the fact that the lack exists only in the emotional plane, his physical body receives messages about the lack of food and reacts accordingly - reflects the mental state.

Myopia it is also very common in addicts. It represents the inability to see far, and this is associated with fear of the future and, especially, with the unwillingness to face the future alone.

An addict who cherishes his sacrificial subpersonality too much can bring himself to hysteria. Psychologists say that a hysterical personality is like a child who is afraid that his pacifier will be taken away from him and left alone. Therefore, such a person tends to noisily demonstrate his emotions.

Many addicts develop depression when their trauma causes them great suffering and they feel helpless - they do not receive the love they so crave. This is also a way to get attention.

The addict suffers migraines, because it prevents oneself from being oneself, blocks one's "I am". He fusses too much, resorts to all sorts of tricks, just to be what others want him to be, or he lives almost completely in the shadow of the people who love him.

I also noticed that addicts very often attract rare diseases requiring special attention, or the so-called incurable diseases. Let me remind you that when medicine declares a certain disease incurable, then, in fact, it reports that science more I have not found reliable remedies for this disease.

The illnesses and ailments listed above can occur in people with other types of trauma, but they are most common in those who experience the trauma of an abandoned person.

Oral character structure.

Description

We describe a person as having an oral character structure if he has many of the features typical of the oral period of life, i.e., infancy. These characteristics are a weak sense of independence, a desire to hold on to others, reduced aggressiveness, and an inner sense of need for support, help, and care. They signify the lack of doing it in infancy and represent the degree of fixation at that level of development. In some people, they are masked by consciously adopted compensatory positions. Some individuals with this structure exhibit exaggerated independence, which, however, is unable to withstand stress. The main experience of the oral character is deprivation, while the corresponding experience of the schizoid structure was rejection.

Bioenergetic conditions

The "oral character" is characterized by a low energy level. The energy is "not frozen" in the center, as in the "schizoid character", and enters the periphery of the body, but its flow is weakened.

The reasons for this are not entirely clear. Linear growth comes first, resulting in a long thin body. The only possible explanation is that the delay in maturation allows the long bones to grow excessively. Another factor may be the inability of underdeveloped muscles to keep bone growth under control.

The lack of energy and strength is most noticeable in the lower part of the body, because the development of the body in a child begins from the head down.

The charge level of points of contact with the outside world is reduced. The eyes are weak with a tendency to myopia, the level of genital arousal is reduced.

This bioenergetic state is shown in the diagram.

physical characteristics

The body is usually long and thin, consistent with Sheldon's ectomorphic type. It differs from the body of the schizoid personality in that it is not very tense.

The muscles are underdeveloped, not sinewy. This lack of development is most noticeable in the arms and legs. Long, poorly developed legs are a typical feature of this structure. The feet are also thin and narrow. The legs seem unable to support the body. The knees are usually brought together to provide additional stability support.

The body may fall sharply due to partial weakness of the muscular system. General physical signs of immaturity are common. The pelvis may be smaller than usual in both men and women. Often there is little hair on the body. In some women, the entire growth process is delayed, and their bodies look like children's.

Breathing in persons with an oral character is superficial, which is explained by the low energy level of their personality. Deprivation at the oral level reduces the strength of the sucking impulse. Good breathing depends on the ability to take in air.

Psychological ratios

Oral people have difficulty standing on their feet, literally and figuratively. They tend to lean or hold on to others. But, as I noted earlier, this shortcoming can be masked by an exaggerated posture of independence. Collectivism is also a reflection of the inability to be alone. There is an increased need for contact with other people, for their warmth and support.

The oral character suffers from an inner feeling of emptiness. He constantly wants to fill this void at the expense of others, although he may act as if he provides support for himself. The inner emptiness reflects the suppression of an intense feeling of strong desire for something, which, if expressed, would lead to deep crying and freer breathing.

Due to the low energy level, the oral personality is prone to mood swings from depression to elation. A tendency to depression is pathognomonic for oral personality traits.

Another typically oral trait is the “I owe this” attitude. This can be expressed in the idea that society is obliged to provide him with a livelihood. This belief arises directly from early experiences of deprivation.

Etiological and historical factors

Early deprivation may be due to the actual loss of warmth and support of the mother due to her death or illness, or her absence due to the need to work. A mother who herself suffers from depression should not be allowed to see her child.

Early development is often found, the ability to talk or walk earlier than usual. I explain this development as an attempt to overcome feelings of abandonment by becoming independent.

There are also often other experiences of disappointment in early life when a child has tried to reach out to his father or siblings for contact, warmth and support. Such disappointments can leave a feeling of bitterness in a person.

Depressive episodes in late childhood and early adolescence are typical. However, children with the oral type do not exhibit autistic behavior, unlike children with the schizoid type. We must admit that the schizoid elements can be in the oral structure, just as the oral can be in the schizoid.

Dance style:

· The addict prefers contact dances, in which it is possible to snuggle up to a partner. Sometimes it seems that he hangs on a partner. His whole being radiates: "Look how my partner loves me."

Vehicle selection:

The addict prefers cars that are comfortable and not the same as everyone else.

Sitting posture:

· The addict is sprawling in a chair or leaning on a support - on the armrest or on the back of an adjacent chair. The upper part of the body is tilted forward.

Fears:

· An addict's biggest fear is loneliness. He does not see this, because he always arranges himself in such a way as to be in someone's company. If, nevertheless, he finds himself alone, then, of course, he admits that he is alone; but at the same time he does not notice how feverishly he is looking for something to do, something to fill his time. there is no physical partner, the phone and TV replace his company. It is much easier for his relatives to notice, to feel this great fear of loneliness, even when surrounded by people. He also has sad eyes.

Injuries by gender:

· The trauma of being abandoned is experienced with a parent of the opposite sex. That is, the addict tends to believe that he will be abandoned by the opposite sex, and blame them more than himself. If he experiences the experience of being abandoned with a person of the same sex, then he blames himself, because he believes that he did not pay enough attention to him or failed to appreciate his attention. It often happens that he is sure that a given person of his gender has abandoned him, but in fact it has rejected him.

Injury Healing:

your injury abandoned close to healing if you feel good even when you are alone and if you need less attention from someone. Life doesn't seem so dramatic anymore. You increasingly have a desire to start various projects, and even if others do not help you, you are able to continue the work yourself.

3. Trauma of the humiliated - mask of a masochist - masochistic type

Characteristics of the trauma of the humiliated:

Awakening trauma: in the period from one to three years, with a parent who is involved in the physical development of the child (usually the mother). Lack of freedom. Feelings of humiliation due to being controlled by that parent.

Mask: Masochist.

Body: Thick, round, short stature, thick tight neck, tension in the throat, neck, jaws and pelvis. The face is round and open.

Dictionary: "worthy", "unworthy", "small", "fat".

Character: Often ashamed of himself or others, or afraid of being embarrassed. Dislikes fast walking. Knows his needs, but does not listen to them. He takes a lot on his shoulders. Uses control to avoid shame.

He considers himself untidy, heartless, a pig, worse than others. tend to merge. He arranges himself so as not to be free, because "to be free" for him means "to be unrestrained." Sometimes he is unrestrained, then he is afraid to cross the line of what is permitted.

Loves the role of mother. Overly sensitive. Punishes himself, believing that he is punishing someone else. Strives, wants to be worthy. Often disgusted. Increased sensuality is combined with shame in sexual behavior. Does not take into account their sexual needs. Plays with food.

Most afraid of: Freedom.

Nutrition: Likes hearty, fatty foods, chocolate. Gluttonous or, conversely, eats in small portions. Ashamed to buy for himself and use "goodies".

Typical diseases: Pain in the back, shoulders, throat, tonsillitis, laryngitis, diseases of the respiratory tract, legs, feet, varicose veins, sprains, fractures, disorders of the liver, thyroid gland, skin itching, hypoglycemia, diabetes, heart disease.

Diseases of the downtrodden:

Pain in the back and a feeling of heaviness shoulders because the masochist takes on too much. The pain in the back is mainly due to his feeling of unfreedom. Pain in the lower back is associated, as a rule, with material problems, in the upper - with the emotional sphere.

He may get sick respiratory tract when he is suffocated by other people's problems.

Trouble often occurs feet And feet — varicose veins,sprains,fractures When he fears he won't be able to move, he gets himself in physical trouble that really prevents him from moving.

Often interrupted work liver because he is overly concerned with other people's problems.

Pain in throat, sore throats And laryngitis- the inevitable companions of the masochist, because he constantly restrains himself when he wants to say something, and especially - to ask.

The more difficult it is for him to recognize his needs and state his demands, the more likely he is to get sick. thyroid gland.

In addition, the inability to listen to one's own needs often provokes scabies, pruritus. It is known that the expression "I'm so itchy ..." means "I really want to ...", but the masochist suppresses his desire - he is ashamed to desire his own pleasure.

Another physical problem that I often see in people of the masochistic type is poor pancreatic function and, as a result, hypoglycemia And diabetes. These diseases manifest themselves in persons who hardly allow themselves sweetness and pleasure, and if they do, they are tormented by feelings of guilt and humiliation.

The masochist is predisposed to heart disease because he doesn't love himself enough. He does not consider himself so significant a being as to please himself. The heart sphere in a person is directly related to his ability to enjoy, enjoy life.

Finally, firmly convinced of the inevitability of suffering, the masochist quite often dooms himself to surgical intervention.

The structure of the masochistic character.

Description

Masochism in public opinion is equated with the desire to suffer. I don't think this is true for an individual with this character structure. He suffers, but since he himself is not able to change the situation, the conclusion suggests itself that he wants to remain in it. I'm not talking about people with masochistic perversions, people who want to get hit by their sexual partners. The masochistic character structure describes a person who suffers and whimpers or complains but remains submissive. Submission is the main masochistic trait.

If an individual with a masochistic character demonstrates a subordinate position in external behavior, then he is completely different inside. On a deep emotional level, he has strong feelings: anger, denial, hostility, and superiority. However, they are

are blocked by fear and can break out with inappropriate behavior. The person resists the fear of a breakthrough with the muscle patterns of containment. Thick strong muscles hold back any direct manifestation and allow only whimpers and complaints to pass.

Bioenergetic conditions

Unlike the oral structure, the masochistic one is energetically fully charged. However, the charge is internally fixed, though not "frozen".

Due to the strong restraint, the peripheral organs are weakly charged, which does not lead to discharge or release of energy, expressive actions are limited.

The restraint is so strong that it leads to contraction and a sharp decline in the strength of the body. Weakness is observed in the waist area, as the body bends under the weight of its tension.

Up and down impulses are silenced in the neck and waist, which explains the strong tendency of this personality to be anxious.

Stretching of the body, in the sense of lengthening or stretching oneself, is greatly reduced. Reducing stretch causes shortening of the structure described above.

physical characteristics

For the masochistic structure, people with short, thick, muscular bodies are typical.

For unknown reasons, body hair growth usually increases.

A characteristic feature is a short, thick neck showing a retracted head. The waist is correspondingly shorter and thicker.

Another important characteristic is the pulling of the pelvis forward, which can be described more literally as a tucked up and flat back. This posture is similar to a dog with its tail between its legs.

This position of the pelvis, along with tension pressure from above, causes bending or a sharp weakening of the body in the waist area.

In some women, you can see a combination of rigidity in the upper half of the body and masochism in the lower half, expressed by heavy buttocks and thighs, a tightened pelvic floor.

The skin of all people with a masochistic character of a dark shade due to stagnation of energy.

Psychological ratios

Due to the powerful containment, aggression in such individuals is significantly reduced. Similarly, self-affirmation is limited. Instead, there are whining and complaints. Whining is the only sound expression that easily passes through a constricted throat. Instead of aggression, there is provocative behavior that causes a strong reaction from the other person, strong enough to enable the masochist to react irascibly and unrestrainedly.

Stagnation of energy due to strong inhibition leads to a feeling of being "bogged down in a swamp", unable to move freely.

The position of submissiveness and obsequiousness is characteristic of masochistic behavior. On a conscious level, the masochist is identified with the attempt to please; however, on a subconscious level, this position is rejected by bitterness, negativity and hostility. These repressed feelings must be released before the masochist can respond freely to life's situations.

Etiological and historical factors

A masochistic structure develops in a family where love and acceptance are combined with intense pressure. The mother is dominating and sacrificing; the father is passive and submissive.

The dominating, self-sacrificing mother literally suffocates the child, who is made to feel intense guilt for any attempt to assert independence or assert negative attitudes.

Typically strong focus on eating and defecation. This is tantamount to pressure from above and below. “Be a good boy. Please your mom. Eat all your food... Empty your bowels regularly. Let mom see...” and so on.

All attempts to resist, including temporary outbursts of irritation, were suppressed. All people with a masochistic structure in childhood had temporary outbursts of irritation that forced them to stop.

Common experiences were feelings of being trapped, which evoked only a reaction of bitterness, ending in self-abasement. The child saw no way out.

As a child, the patient struggled with a deep sense of humiliation as he tried to "let him loose" in the form of vomiting, pollution, or defiance.

The masochist is afraid to stretch out his arm or leg or stretch out his neck (same for the genitals) for fear that they will be cut off or he will tear himself away from them. There is a strong anxiety about castration in this character. Most powerful is the fear of being cut off from a parental relationship that provided love, but under certain conditions. We will explore the meaning of this in more detail in the next section.

Dance style:

· The masochist always dances willingly and a lot, taking the opportunity to express his sensuality. He dances for the pure pleasure of dancing. His whole appearance says: "Look how sensual I can be."

Vehicle selection:

· The masochist chooses a small, cramped car that barely fits.

Sitting posture:

The masochist sits with his legs spread. In most cases, he chooses a place that is not suitable for him, so he feels uncomfortable.

Fears:

· The masochist is most afraid of freedom. He does not consider and does not feel free because of the many restrictions and obligations that he himself came up with. On the other hand, he seems completely free to those around him, because he usually finds the means and time to do what he decided to do. He does not look back at others when making a decision. Even if what he decides binds him, in the eyes of other people he has complete freedom to change his mind, if he only wants to. His eyes, wide open to the world, show a great interest in everything and a desire to experience as many different experiences as possible.

Injuries by gender:

· The trauma of humiliation is usually experienced with the mother., regardless of gender. That is, a male masochist tends to experience humiliation from females. He usually blames them. If he experiences the trauma of humiliation with a male person, then he blames himself and is ashamed of his behavior or his attitude towards this person. He can also experience this trauma with his father, if he is engaged in his physical education, teaches the child to keep clean, eat, dress, etc. If this is your case, then you just have to apply what was said to the male or female version.

Injury Healing:

your injury humiliated close to healing if you give yourself time to consider whether it meets your needs before you say yes to someone. You already take less on your shoulders and feel more free. You stop creating limits for yourself. You are able to make requests and demands without feeling annoying and unnecessary.

4. Trauma of betrayal - the mask of the controller - psychopathic type

Trait Trauma Characteristics:

Awakening trauma: between two and four years old, with a parent of the opposite sex. The collapse of trust or unfulfilled expectations in the love-sexual sphere. Manipulation.

Mask: Controlling.

Body: Exudes strength and power. The man's shoulders are wider than his hips. A woman's hips are wider and stronger than her shoulders. Chest wheel. Belly too.

Eyes: The gaze is intent, seductive. Eyes that everyone sees at a glance.

Dictionary: “separate (s)”, “do you understand?”, “I can”, “I can handle it myself”, “I knew it”, “trust me”, “I don’t trust him”.

Character: Considers himself very responsible and strong. Strives to be special and important. Does not keep his promises and commitments or makes an effort on himself to keep them. Lies easily.

Manipulator. Seducer. Has a lot of expectations. The mood is uneven. He is convinced that he is right, and seeks to convince others. Impatient. Intolerant.

Understands and acts quickly. A good performer because he wants to be recognized. Circus. Hard to trust. Doesn't show vulnerability. Skeptic. Afraid to violate or withdraw from an obligation.

Most afraid of: Disconnects; divorce; renunciations.

Nutrition: A good appetite. Eats fast. Adds salt and spices. May not eat for a long time while busy, but then loses control in eating.

Typical diseases: Diseases of control and loss of control, agoraphobia, spasmophilia, disorders of the digestive system, diseases whose name ends in -it, oral herpes.

Diseases of betrayal:

Agoraphobia due to his fusional subpersonality, as in the dependent. On the other hand, the agoraphobia experienced by the controller is marked predominantly by the fear of insanity, while the mask of the addict is associated with agoraphobia, motivated more by the fear of death. I want to emphasize here that doctors often confuse agoraphobia with spasmophilia (a definition of agoraphobia is given in Chapter 3).

The controller is especially attracted to diseases of control, management - all kinds of violations of work joints throughout the body, and most often knee.

He is most prone to diseases with loss of control in some organs of the body - bleeding, impotence, diarrhea and etc.

When he feels completely helpless in some situation, he can be broken paralysis.

He often has problems with digestive system, especially with liver And stomach.

He is also prone to diseases whose name ends in -it. Here I refer you to my book Your Body Says: Love Yourself!, where it is detailed that these diseases are especially characteristic of persons who, under the influence of their many expectations, are prone to impatience, anger and disappointment.

The controller often has oral herpes- it occurs when, consciously or unconsciously, the controller considers members of the opposite sex to be "nauseous types." In addition, it is a good means of control to avoid kissing others.

The structure of the psychopathic character.

Description

This character structure requires some preface. This is the only character type that has not been described or analyzed in my previous work. It can be a very complex structure, but for the sake of brevity and clarity, I will describe the simple form of this violation.

The essence of the psychopathic position is the denial of feelings. It is different from the schizoid, which is disconnected from feelings. In the psychopathic personality, the ego or mind turns against the body and its feelings, especially the sexual ones. That is why the term "psychopathy" was coined.

The normal function of the ego is to support the body's desire for pleasure, and not to destroy it to please the mental representation of the ego. In all psychopathic characters there is a great investment of energy in the mental image of the person. Another aspect of this personality is the desire for power and the need to dominate and control.

The reason this type of character is difficult is because there are two ways to gain power over others. One is bullying or overpowering the other; in this case, if a person does not challenge the bully, then he begins to feel like a victim. The second way is to influence a person through a seductive approach, which is very effective against naive people who fall under psychopathic power.

Bioenergetic conditions

There are two body types that correspond to two psychopathic structures. The suppressive type is more easily explained bioenergetically and I use it to illustrate. The acquisition of power over other people is achieved by rising above them.

In this model, a shift of energy towards the head end of the body is noticeable with a concomitant decrease in charge in the lower part of the body. The two halves of the body are markedly disproportionate, with the upper part substantially larger and more dominant in appearance.

The look is wary or incredulous. Such a person does not seek rapprochement with others and does not understand them. This is a characteristic feature of the psychopathic personality. For most, there is a certain amount of constriction around the diaphragm and waist that blocks the flow of energy and feelings down.

The head is energetically overloaded. This means that there is an overexcitation of the mental apparatus, leading to constant thinking about how to gain control and dominance over the situation.

The need for control is also directed against itself. The head is held very tightly (never lose one's head), but it, in turn, holds the body firmly in its power.

Energy relationships are shown in the diagram.

physical characteristics

The body of the suppressive type shows a disproportionate development in its upper part. This gives the impression of a puffed up person and fits his inflated ego image. We can say that this structure outweighs the top.

She is also tough. The lower part of the body can no longer show the weakness typical of an oral character structure.

The body of the second type, which I have called seductive or destructive, is more correct and does not have a puffed-out appearance. The back is usually too flexible.

In both cases, there is a disturbance in the flow of energy between the two halves of the body. In the first type, the pelvis is weakly charged and held rigidly; in the second, it is too charged, but isolated. Both types have obvious diaphragm compression.

There is also noticeable tension in the ocular segment of the body, which includes the eyes and the occipital region.

Also, strong muscle tension can be felt in the cervical region along the base of the skull, in the so-called oral segment. This voltage is associated with the suppression of the beginning pulse.

Psychological ratios

The psychopathic personality needs someone to control, and although it may seem that she controls the person, she herself is also dependent on him. Thus, there is a degree of orality in all psychopathic personalities. They are described in the psychiatric literature as having an oral fixation.

The need to control is closely related to the fear of being controlled. To be in control means to be used. We will see that in the past, individuals with this character structure have struggled for dominance and control between parent and child.

The desire to be at the top, to achieve the goal is so strong that a person cannot allow or allow defeat. Defeat puts him in the position of a victim; ergo, he must be a winner in every situation.

Sexuality is also always used in this power play. He (man) is seductive in his seeming power or in soft secret temptation. Pleasure in sex is secondary to achievement or conquest.

The denial of feelings is usually the denial of needs. The psychopathic maneuver of such a person is to make other people need him so that he does not have to express his needs. Thus, he is always at the center of the world.

Etiological and historical factors

In all types of character, a person's past explains his behavior. I could make a general statement that no man can understand his behavior unless he knows his past.

Thus, one of the main tasks of any therapy is to explain the patient's life experience. In the case of this person, it often seems rather difficult, because the psychopathic tendency to deny feelings includes the denial of experience. Despite this, much has been studied in bioenergetics regarding the occurrence of this problem.

The most important factor in the etiology of this condition is the sexually seductive, misleading parent. The temptation is covered and exists to satisfy the narcissistic needs of the parent. It aims to bond the child to the parent.

A seductive parent is always a rejecting parent, rejecting the child's needs for support and physical contact. The lack of necessary contact and support explains the oral element in this character structure.

A seductive relationship creates a triangle that puts the child in the position of challenging the parent of the same sex. This creates a barrier of necessary identification with the parent of the same sex and further identification with the seductive parent.

In this situation, any achievement of contact makes the child extremely vulnerable. The child will either rise above needs (upward shift) or satisfy their needs through manipulation by their parents (seductive type).

There is also a masochistic element in the psychopathic personality that arises from submission to a seductive parent. The child cannot rebel or leave this situation; he has only internal protection. Submission lies only on the surface; nevertheless, to the extent that the child obeys openly, he acquires some intimacy with the parent.

The masochistic elements are strongest in the enticing or seductive version of this character structure. The initial concession must pass into a masochistic subordinate role. Then, when the seduction has worked and the other person's attachment is strong, a sadistic quality emerges.

The controller has a loud, booming voice.

Dance style:

· Supervisor needs a lot of space. He loves to dance and uses it to seduce. But above all, it is an opportunity for him to show himself. From him comes the call: "Look at me."

Vehicle selection:

· The controller buys a powerful, conspicuous machine.

Sitting posture:

· The controller sits with the whole body leaning back and arms crossed when listening. Having taken the floor, he leans forward to look more convincing in the eyes of the interlocutor.

Fears:

· The controller is most afraid of separation and renunciation.. He does not notice how intensely he himself creates problems and conflict situations, as a result of which he excludes further communication with individual people. Creating, attracting to himself situations in which he renounces someone every time, he at the same time does not see that he is afraid of these situations. Rather, on the contrary, he assures himself that these breaks and renunciations are beneficial for him. He thinks that in this way he does not allow himself to be fooled or used. His sociability and readiness for new acquaintances prevent him from realizing how many people he has deleted from his life. Others see it much better. And his eyes betray him too. When he is angry, they become tough and even inspire fear, which can alienate many from him.

Injuries by gender:

· The trauma of betrayal is experienced with a parent of the opposite sex. That is, the controller usually believes that he was betrayed by persons of the opposite sex, and is inclined to blame them for his suffering or emotions. If he experiences the trauma of betrayal with a person of the same sex, then he mainly blames himself and is angry with himself for not being able to foresee and prevent this experience in a timely manner. It is highly likely that what he perceives as betrayal by those of his gender is in fact an experience that has activated his trauma of injustice.

Injury Healing:

your injury betrayal close to healing if you no longer experience such violent emotions when someone or something upsets your plans. You loosen your grip more easily. Let me remind you: loosening your grip means loosening your attachment to the result, getting rid of the desire for everything to go only according to your plan. You no longer try to be the center of attraction. When you are proud of the work done, you feel good even when others do not notice or do not recognize your merits.

5. Trauma of injustice - mask of the rigid - rigid type

Injustice Injury Characteristics:

Awakening trauma: Between the ages of four and six, with a parent of the same sex. Duty to be efficient and perfect. Blocking individuality.

Mask: Rigid.

Body: Direct, hard and, within the limits of the possible, perfect. Good proportions. Round buttocks. Short stature, tight-fitting clothes or a tight belt. Shackled movements. The skin is light. Clenched jaws. The neck is tense, straight. Posture proud.

Eyes: The look is radiant, alive. The eyes are light.

Dictionary: "no problem", "always, never", "very good, very kind", "very specific", "exactly", "totally fair", "of course", "do you agree?"

Character A: Strives for excellence. Envious. Detached from his own feelings. Often crosses his arms. Productive - to be perfect. Overly optimistic. Live, dynamic. Often justified. Very reluctant to ask for help.

Laughter over trifles - to hide your sensitivity. The tone of voice is dry and tense. Doesn't admit he has problems. He doubts the correctness of his choice. Compares himself on the principle of "who is better - who is worse."

He hardly accepts anything: he considers it unfair to receive less than others, but even more unfair to receive more.

He very rarely allows himself pleasures, as he usually feels guilty because of them. He does not take into account his limitations, he is too demanding of himself. Controls himself. Likes order. Rarely sick, indifferent or ruthless to his body. Choleric. Cold, unable to show his feelings. Likes to look sexy.

Most afraid of: Coldness.

Nutrition: Prefers salty foods to sweet ones. Loves everything crunchy. Controls himself so as not to get fat. Ashamed and justified when he loses control over himself in food.

Typical diseases: Nervous exhaustion (professional), frigidity (in women), premature ejaculation or impotence (in men). Diseases ending in -it- tendinitis, bursitis, arthritis, etc.

Torticollis, constipation, hemorrhoids, spasms and convulsions, circulatory disorders, liver dysfunction. Varicose veins, skin diseases, nervousness, insomnia, poor eyesight.

Diseases of injustice:

He feels the rigidity of his body as inflexibility or tension at the top back, V neck, as well as in flexible areas (ankles, knees, hips, elbows, wrists, etc.). Rigid ones like to crack their fingers, thus trying to improve their flexibility. In a word, they are able to feel the shell with which their body is bound, but they do not feel what is hidden under this shell.

already mentioned nervous exhaustion.

Diseases whose name has an ending -it: tendinitis, bursitis, arthritis. Any disease with a similar name indicates a very common state of rigidity - suppressed inner anger hidden in the body.

Rigid may suffer from pain or curvature of the neck because it is hard for him to see the wrong, unfair, in his opinion, side of things or events.

Very often seen constipation And hemorrhoids- due to the fact that it is difficult for him to relax, to stop restraining himself in everything.

characteristic of a rigid spasms And convulsions- reactions of a person who tends to cling or hold back because of fear.

Inability to please yourself causes problems blood circulation And varicose veins.

Problems are common dry skin.

acne on the face testify to the fear of making a mistake, losing face, not being at the height of one's own expectations.

Rigid people often suffer psoriasis. They bring this disease on themselves so as not to be too good or too happy - that would be unfair to others. Curiously, psoriasis outbreaks often coincide with holidays, vacations, or a period when everything is going well and happily.

Disorders are often seen liver from repressed anger.

Common occurrence - nervousness rigid., although for the most part they control it well, so that outwardly it is invisible.

Quite often observed insomnia, especially among those rigid ones who do not know how to calm down until they do their job in a timely and flawless manner. They think so intensely about what they have to do that they wake up from it and can no longer sleep.

Violations vision arise due to the fact that it is very difficult for a rigid person to see that he made an unsuccessful decision or incorrectly assessed the situation. He prefers not to see what he considers imperfect; in this case he does not suffer so much. He often uses the expression "It's not clear" - which also does not improve his vision.

Rigid character structure.

Description

The concept of rigidity comes from the tendency of these individuals to hold themselves inflexibly—with pride. The head is carried rather high, the spine is straight. This would be a positive feature were it not for the fact that this pride is protective and the inflexibility unyielding. A rigid character is afraid to give in, equating it with submission or falling. Rigidity becomes a defense against an underlying masochistic drive.

A person with a rigid character is wary of being deceived, used or trapped. His prudence takes the form of restraining impulses from disclosure and dissemination. Restraint also means "keep your back", hence rigidity. The ability to restrain is based on a strong ego position with a high degree of control over behavior. In addition, this is supported by an equally strong position in relation to the genitals, thus focusing the personality's attention at both ends of the body, establishing good contact with reality. Unfortunately, the emphasis on reality is used as a defense against the desire for pleasure, and this is the main conflict in the personality.

Bioenergetic conditions

In this structure, there is a fairly strong charge at all peripheral points of contact with the environment, which favors the opportunity to check reality before taking action.

The containment is peripheral, which allows feelings to flow but limits their expression.

The main areas of tension are the long muscles of the body. Clamps in the flexor and extensor muscles combine with each other and cause rigidity.

Naturally, there are various degrees of rigidity. When the restraint is moderate, the person is animated and vibrates.

The bioenergetic state is shown in the diagram.

physical characteristics

The body of a person with a rigid character is proportional and harmonious. It looks and feels whole and connected. Despite this, you can see some of the elements of violations and distortions described above for other types.

An important characteristic is the liveliness of the body: clear eyes, good skin color, liveliness of gestures and movements.

If the rigidity is severe, then the positive factors mentioned above are correspondingly worse: coordination and grace in movement are reduced, the eyes lose some luster, and the skin tone may be pale or grayish.

Psychological ratios

People with this character structure are usually worldly oriented, ambitious, competitive and energetic. Passivity is experienced as vulnerability.

A rigid person may be stubborn, but rarely vicious. Part of the stubbornness comes from his pride: he is afraid that if he does not stand his ground, he will look stupid, and therefore reserved. Partly it arises from the fear of submission, that is, of losing freedom.

The term "rigid character" has been adopted in bioenergetics to describe the most common factors in several differently labeled personalities. Thus, it includes the phallic, narcissistic male whose focus is on potency, and the Victorian type of hysterical woman whose character Reich described in Character Analysis, and who uses sex as a defense against sexuality. The old-fashioned binding character also belongs to this broad category.

The rigidity of this character is like steel. Rigidity is also seen in the schizoid structure, where, due to its frozen state, its energy system is like ice and very fragile. In general, people with a rigid character manage their lives effectively.

Etiological and historical factors

The past behind this structure is interesting because a person with this character has not experienced severe traumas that create more serious defensive positions.

The most significant trauma here is the experience of disappointment in the pursuit of erotic gratification, mainly at the genital level. This occurs when child masturbation is prohibited, as well as in relationships with a parent of the opposite sex.

The rejection of the child's desire for erotic and sexual pleasure was seen by the child as a betrayal of his desire for love. Erotic pleasure, sexuality and love are synonymous in the mind of a child.

Due to the strong development of the ego, a person with a rigid character does not give up this awareness. As shown in the diagram, his heart is not cut off from the periphery. He or she is a being who acts from the heart, but with the limitation and control of the ego. The desired state would be to give up this control and trust the heart.

Since the open expression of love as a desire for physical intimacy and erotic pleasure is met with rejection by parents, a person with a rigid character takes detours in custody to achieve his goal. He doesn't manipulate like a psychopathic character, but maneuvers to achieve intimacy.

The significance of his pride lies in the fact that he is attached to this feeling of love. Rejection of his sexual love hurts his sense of dignity. Similarly, insulting one's self-esteem is tantamount to rejecting his love.

I have one final note. I have not discussed the treatment of these problems because therapists do not treat types of characters, but people. Therapy focuses on people in their immediate relationship: to his body, to the ground on which he stands, to the people with whom he communicates, and to the therapist. This is the basis of the therapeutic approach. In the background, however, is a knowledge of character, without which the therapist cannot understand the patient and his problems. An experienced doctor can easily move from one area to another without losing sight of them.

Rigid speech is somewhat mechanical and reserved.

Dance style:

· Rigid dances very well, feels the rhythm, despite some stiffness, inflexibility of the legs. He is very attentive, tries not to lose the rhythm. More often than others, she attends dance courses. The most rigid ones stand out with seriousness, hold themselves very straight and seem to count their steps in the dance. They seem to say with their appearance: "Look how well I dance."

Vehicle selection:

· Rigid prefers a classic, working, hardy car - he wants to get full value for his money.

Sitting posture:

Rigid sits perfectly upright. At the same time, he can move his legs and position his whole body strictly symmetrically, which further emphasizes his rigid posture. Sometimes he crosses his legs or arms - when he does not want to feel what is happening.

Fears:

· Rigid is most afraid of coldness. It is difficult for him to recognize coldness, because he considers himself a sincere, warm person who does everything to ensure that harmony and justice reign around him. As a rule, he is loyal to his friends. But people around him often notice his own coldness, not so much in his eyes, but in his dry, hard demeanor, especially when he believes he is being unfairly accused of something.

Injuries by gender:

· The trauma of injustice is experienced with a same-sex parent. That is, the rigid suffers from injustice on the part of people of his sex and accuses them of injustice to him. If he experiences a situation that he considers unfair with a person of the opposite sex, then he accuses not this person, but rather himself - of injustice or incorrectness.

Injury Healing:

your injury injustice close to healing if you allow yourself to be less than perfect, to make mistakes, without falling into a rage and without criticizing yourself. You can afford to show your sensitivity, you can cry in front of others without being afraid of their judgment and without being ashamed of temporarily losing control.

CHAPTER 2
Rejected

Fugitive Physique (Rejected Injury)

Let's look in the dictionaries what the words "reject", "rejected" mean. Dictionaries give several synonymous definitions: push away; remove, refuse; not tolerate; to not allow; expose.

Often people find it difficult to grasp the difference between the two concepts - "reject" and "leave". To leave someone means to move away from him for the sake of someone or something else. To reject means to push away, not to want to see next to you and in your life. The rejecter uses the expression: "I don't want to," and the one who leaves says: "I can't."

A suitable example is an unwanted child who was born “by chance”. If the soul of this infant has not coped with the experience of being rejected, that is, if it has not managed to remain itself and be in prosperity, despite rejection, then it will inevitably experience the state of being rejected. A striking case is a child of the wrong sex. There are many other reasons why a parent rejects their child; it is very important for us here to understand that only those souls who need to experience the rejected experience are attracted to a parent or parents of a certain type: these parents will inevitably reject their child.

It often happens that the parent has no intention of rejecting the child, nevertheless, the child feels rejected for every, even petty, reason - after an offensive remark, or when one of the parents experiences anger, impatience, etc. If the wound not healed, it is very easy to stir it up. A person who feels rejected is biased. He interprets all events through the filters of his trauma, and the feeling of being rejected only intensifies, although perhaps not true.

From the day the baby feels rejected, it begins to develop a mask Fugitive. Many times I had to observe and treat regressions to the embryonic state, and I became convinced that a person with the trauma of being rejected while still in the womb feels very small, tries to take up as little space as possible, and also constantly has a feeling of darkness, gloom. This confirmed my hunch that the fugitive mask may begin to form even before birth.

I ask you to note that from now until the end of the book I will use the term "fugitive" to refer to a person suffering from a rejection complex. The mask of the fugitive is another, new personality, a character that develops as a means of evading the suffering of the rejected.

This mask manifests itself physically in the form of an elusive physique, that is, a body (or body part) that seems to want to disappear. Narrow, compressed, it seems to be specially designed so that it is easier to slip away, take up less space, not be visible among others. This body does not want to take up much space, it takes on the form escaping, escaping and all his life he strives to occupy as little space as possible. When one sees a person who looks like an incorporeal ghost - "skin and bones" - one can expect with a high degree of certainty that he is suffering from a deep trauma of a rejected being.

Seeing how such a person holds himself (shoulders are shifted forward, hands are usually pressed to the body, etc.), we say that his body is twisted. It seems that something is blocking the growth of the body or its individual parts; or as if some parts of the body differ from others in age; and some people even look like adults in a child's body.

characteristic feature fugitive are small face and eyes. The eyes appear empty or absent because the person with this injury tends to retreat to his own world or "fly to the moon" (astral plane) at every opportunity. Often these eyes are filled with fear. Watching the face fugitive, you can literally feel the mask on him, especially in front of his eyes. He himself often imagines that he is looking at the world through a mask. Some fugitives admitted to me that the feeling of a mask on their face sometimes does not go away for a whole day, while for others it lasts for several minutes. It doesn't really matter how long it lasts; the important thing is that this is their way of not being present in what is happening around.

Not to be present, so as not to suffer.

The presence of all these signs indicates that the trauma of the rejected person is very deep, much deeper than in a person with a single sign - for example, only eyes fugitive. If the body has, say, half of the features fugitive, then we can assume that this person wears a protective mask not all the time, but about half. This may refer, for example, to a person with a fairly large body, but a small face and small eyes. fugitive or to a person with a large body and very short ankles. If not all the signs of the rejected are observed, then the trauma is not so deep.

Since the size of the body of such a child is less than average and it often resembles a doll or some kind of fragile and defenseless creature, the mother takes care of him unnecessarily; and he gets used to the fact that everyone constantly says: he is too small for this, he is too weak for that, etc. The child begins to believe in this so much that his body really becomes small. For this reason, "to be loved" means something suffocating to him. Afterwards, when someone loves him, his first impulse will be to reject this love or run away, because the fear of suffocation will still nest in him. An overprotective child feels rejected, feels that he is not accepted for who he is. Trying to somehow compensate for his smallness and fragility, relatives try to do everything and even think for him; but even then, instead of feeling loved, the child feels rejected in his abilities.

Fugitive prefers not to be attached to material things, because they can prevent him from running away when and where he pleases. It seems as if he really looks at everything material from the top down. He asks himself what he is doing on this planet; it is very hard for him to believe that he can be happy here. He is especially attracted to everything that is connected with the spirit, as well as the intellectual world. He rarely uses material things for pleasure, believing such pleasure to be superficial. One young woman told me that she didn't like going to the shops. She does it just to feel alive. Fugitive admits that money is needed, but it does not bring him joy.

Detachment fugitive from material things causes difficulties in his sexual life. He is ready to believe that sexuality is contrary to spirituality. Many fugitives-Women have told me that they consider sex to be a non-spiritual phenomenon, especially after they become mothers. Some even managed to set the spouse in such a way that he did not want physical intimacy with them throughout the entire period of pregnancy.

To the fugitives it can be very difficult to understand that they can and have the right to have the same sexual needs as any normal person. They gravitate towards situations in which they find themselves rejected sexually - or deny themselves a sexual life.

The trauma of rejection is experienced with a same-sex parent.

If you recognize yourself in the description of a person who feels rejected, it means that you experienced the same feeling towards a parent of the same sex as you. It is this parent who is the first to open an already existing wound. And then rejection and dislike towards this parent, up to hatred, become quite normal and human.

The role of a parent of the same gender

is to teach us

love - love yourself and give love.

The parent of the opposite sex must

learn to love yourself and

accept love.

By not accepting the parent, we just as naturally decide not to use it as a model. If you see that this is also your injury, then know that it is precisely this rejection that explains your difficulties: being of the same sex with an unloved parent, you cannot accept yourself and love yourself.

Fugitive does not believe in his worth, he does not put himself in anything. And for this reason, he uses all means to become perfect and acquire value both in his own eyes and in the eyes of others. The word "NOBODY" is a favorite in his vocabulary, and he applies it with equal success to himself and to others:

* "My boss said I was nobody, I had to leave."

* "In economic matters, my mother is nobody."

* “My dad is just a nobody in a relationship with my mom. So was my husband; I don't blame him for leaving me."

In Quebec, the word "NOTHING" is preferred:

* "I know that I am nothing, others are more interesting than me."

* "No matter what I do, it does not give anything, anyway, every time I have to start over."

* "I'm nothing, nothing ... do as you want."

One man- fugitive confessed at the seminar that he feels like a nonentity and a slacker in front of his father. " When he talks to me, I'm crushed. If he is able to think, then only about how to escape from him; where do all my arguments and self-control go. His mere presence depresses me." Woman- fugitive told me how, at the age of sixteen, she decided that from now on her mother was nothing to her - after her mother said that it would be better if she did not have such a daughter, it would be better if she disappeared, even if she died. Avoiding suffering, the daughter has since withdrawn completely from her mother.

It is interesting to note that the flight of a child who feels rejected is predominantly encouraged by a parent of the same sex with him. Most often in stories about the departure of children from home, I hear the phrase of a parent: “Are you leaving? Very well, it will be freer here.” The child, of course, feels his rejection even more painfully and is even more angry with the parent. This kind of situation easily arises with a parent who himself suffers from the same trauma. He encourages withdrawal, because this means is familiar to him, even if he does not realize it.

Notable place in the dictionary fugitive also occupy the words "does not exist", "non-existent". For example, to the questions: How are you with sex? or “What kind of relationship do you have with such and such a person?” he answers: " They don't exist”, while most people will simply answer that things are not going well or that the relationship is not working out.

The fugitive also likes the words to disappear, disappear. He can say: "My father treats my mother like a prostitute ... I would like to disappear" or “I wish my parents were gone!”

Fugitive seeks loneliness, solitude, because he is afraid of the attention of others - he does not know how to behave at the same time, it seems to him that his existence is too noticeable. And in the family, and in any group of people, he is stewed. He believes that he must endure the most unpleasant situations to the end, as if he has no right to fight back; in any case, he sees no options for salvation. Here is an example: a girl asks her mother to help her deal with the lessons and hears in response: “ Go to dad. Can't you see that I'm busy and he has nothing to do? The first reaction of the rejected child will be the thought: Well, again, I was not courteous enough, and therefore my mother refused to help me, ” and then the girl will go looking for a quiet corner where she can hide from everyone.

At fugitive usually very few friends at school, and later - at work. He is considered closed and left alone. The more he isolates himself, the more invisible he seems. He falls into a vicious circle: feeling rejected, he puts on a mask fugitive not to suffer; he is so obscured that others stop noticing him; he becomes increasingly lonely, which gives him even more reason to feel rejected.

And now I will describe to you a situation that was repeated many times at the very end of my seminars, at the moment when everyone tells how the seminar helped him. With great surprise, I discover the presence of a personality that I did not notice during the two-day seminar! I ask myself: But where has she been hiding all this time?» Then I see that she has a body fugitive, that she arranged herself so as not to speak or ask questions during the whole seminar, and that she sat behind the others all the time, trying not to be seen. When I tell such participants that they are overly shy, they almost invariably reply that they have nothing interesting to say, so they didn't speak.

Really, fugitive usually says little. Sometimes he can talk, and talks a lot - he tries to assert his importance; in this case, others see pride in his statements.

At fugitive often a SKIN PROBLEM develops - so that it is not touched. The skin is a contact organ, its appearance can attract or repel another person. Skin disease is an unconscious way to protect yourself from being touched, especially in those places that are associated with the problem. I have often heard from the fugitives: "When I'm touched, I get the impression that I'm being pulled out of my cocoon." The wound of the rejected hurts and makes him eventually believe that if he goes to his own world, he will no longer suffer, because he himself will not reject himself, and others will not be able to reject him. Therefore, he often evades participation in group work, stews. He hides in his cocoon.

Therefore fugitive easily and willingly goes on astral journeys: unfortunately, these journeys are more often made unconsciously. He may even think that this is a common occurrence and that others are there as often as he does. In thoughts and ideas fugitive constantly scattered; sometimes you can hear from him: I need to collect myself- it seems to him that it consists of separate pieces. This impression is especially characteristic of those whose body resembles a construction of disparate parts. More than once I heard from the fugitives: I feel like I'm cut off from other people. Like I'm not here". Some have told me that they sometimes distinctly feel their body split in half - as if an invisible thread were cutting through it at the waist. At one of my acquaintances, this thread divided her body at chest level. As a result of the release technique I teach in one of my workshops, she felt that her upper and lower parts of her body were connected, and was very surprised by the new sensation. This helped her understand that she had not truly been in her body since childhood. She never knew what "being tied to the ground" meant.

In seminars, I notice fugitives, mostly women who like to sit on a chair cross-legged under them; they seem to be more comfortable sitting on the ground. But, since they hardly touch the ground, it is not difficult for them slip away. But they pay money to attend our classes, and this fact confirms their intention - or at least the desire of some part of them - to be here although it is very difficult for them to concentrate, to "collect themselves". So I tell them that they have a choice - go to the astral plane and miss what's going on here, or stay anchored to their place and be present in the present.

As I said above, fugitive feels neither acceptance nor goodwill from a parent of the same sex. This does not necessarily mean that the parent rejects it. It is his, fugitive, personal feeling. The same soul could come to Earth in order to overcome the trauma of humiliation, and incarnate with the same parents with exactly the same attitude towards their child. On the other hand, it goes without saying that fugitive tends to experience rejection more than any other person - say a brother or sister - who does not have this trauma.

A person experiencing the suffering of a rejected person is constantly looking for the love of a parent of the same sex with him; he may also transfer his search to other persons of the same sex. He will consider himself an incomplete being until he wins the love of a parent. He is very sensitive to the slightest remarks from this parent and is always ready to decide that he is rejected. Bitterness and anger gradually develop in him, often turning into hatred, so great is his suffering. Don't forget that it takes a lot of love to hate. Hate is a strong but disappointed love. The wound of the rejected is so deep that of all five characters fugitive most prone to hate. He easily bypasses the stage of great love in order to give himself up to great hatred. This is an indicator of the strongest internal suffering.

As for the parent of the opposite sex, fugitive he himself is afraid to reject him and in every possible way restrains himself in his actions and statements in relation to him. Due to his injury, he cannot be himself. He resorts to various tricks and precautions so as not to reject this parent - he does not want to be accused of rejecting anyone himself. On the other hand, he wants the parent of the same sex to curry favor with him - this allows him not to feel his rejection so sharply. He does not want to see that his sufferings of the rejected one are due to internal persistent trauma, and the parent has nothing to do with it, If fugitive experiences the experience of being rejected by a parent (or other person) of the opposite sex, then he blames himself for this and rejects himself.

If you see the trauma of the rejected in yourself, then for you, even if your parent really rejects you, it is very important to understand and accept the following thought: “It is precisely because your trauma is not healed that you attract a certain type of situation and a certain parent». As long as you believe that all your misfortunes are the fault of other people, your injury cannot be healed. As a consequence of your reaction to your own parents, you will very easily feel rejected by other people of your gender, and you will always be afraid of rejecting a person of the opposite sex yourself.

The deeper the trauma of the rejected, the

pulls him closer

the circumstances in which it is

rejected or rejects.

The more fugitive rejects himself, the stronger his fear of rejection. He constantly humiliates and underestimates himself. He often compares himself to those who are stronger than him in some way, and thus develops a belief in his own inferiority. He does not notice that in some areas he can surpass other people. He will not believe in any way that someone would like to make friends with him, that someone sees him as a spouse, that they can truly love him. One mother told me about her children: they tell her that they love her, but she does not understand why they love her!

Everything turns out so that fugitive constantly lives in an uncertain state: if he is elected, he does not believe in it and rejects himself - sometimes to such an extent that, in fact, he provokes the situation; if he is not elected, he feels rejected by others. One young man from a large family told me that his father never entrusted him with anything, from which the child made a categorical conclusion that all other children are better than him. And it is not surprising that now the father always chooses one of them. A vicious circle has formed.

Fugitive often says (or thinks) that all his deeds and thoughts are worthless. When attention is paid to him, he gets lost, he begins to think that he takes up too much space. If it takes up a lot of space, it seems to him that he is disturbing someone, which means that he will be rejected by those who are disturbed. Even in the womb, the fugitive does not take up extra space. He is doomed to keep quiet until his injury is healed.

When he is talking and someone interrupts him, he instantly takes it as proof that he is not worth listening to, and habitually falls silent. A person who is not weighed down by the trauma of the rejected person, in this case, also concludes that his statement turned out to be uninteresting - but not himself! To the fugitive it is equally difficult to express one's opinion when one is not asked: it seems to him that the interlocutors will see this as a confrontation and reject him.

If he has a question or a request for someone, but this person is busy, then he will not say anything. He knows what he wants, but he does not dare to ask for it, believing that it is not important enough to bother others.

Many women say that even in adolescence they stopped trusting their mother for fear of not being understood. They believe that to be understood is to be loved. Meanwhile, one has nothing to do with the other. To love is to accept another, even if you do not understand him. Because of this belief, they become evasive in conversation. And it turns out that they are always trying to get away from the subject of discussion, but are afraid to start another. Of course, they behave this way not only with their mother, but also with other women. If the fugitive is a man, then his relationship with his father and other men is exactly the same.

Another distinctive property fugitive is the desire for perfection in everything that he does: he believes that if he makes a mistake, he will be condemned, and to be condemned for him is the same as being rejected. Since he does not believe in his own perfection, he tries to compensate for this by the perfection of what he does. He, unfortunately, confuses "to be" and "to do." The search for perfection can reach the point of obsession with him. He so passionately desires to do everything flawlessly that any work takes him an unreasonably long time. And in the end, it is because of this that he is rejected.

Reaching its limit, fear fugitive goes into a panic. At the mere thought of the possibility of panic, he first of all looks for where to hide, run away, disappear. He would rather disappear, because he knows that in a state of panic he will not budge at all. He believes that by hiding somewhere, he will avoid trouble. He is so convinced of his inability to deal with panic that he eventually succumbs to it very easily, even when there is no reason for it. The desire to hide, to disappear is deeply characteristic of fugitives; I have often seen cases of regression to the embryonic state. Such people said that they wanted to hide in their mother's stomach - another indication of how early this begins.

By attracting to him, like a magnet, people and situations that he fears, fugitive in the same way provokes circumstances in which he has a panic. His fear, of course, further dramatizes what is happening. He always finds any explanation for his flight or evasion.

Fugitive especially easily panicked and numb with fear in the presence of a parent or other people of the same sex (especially if they somehow resemble this parent). With a parent and with other people of the opposite sex, he does not experience this fear, it is much easier for him to communicate with them. I also noticed that in the vocabulary of the fugitive the word "panic" occurs quite often. He might say, for example: “I experience panic at the thought of quitting smoking.” Usually a person will simply say that it is difficult for him to quit smoking.

Our ego does everything it can to keep us from noticing our injuries. Why? Because we ourselves gave him this mandate. Unconsciously. We are so afraid to relive the pain associated with each injury that we use all means to avoid admitting to ourselves that we are experiencing the suffering of a rejected being because of the fact that we reject ourselves. And those who reject us have come into our lives to show us how much we reject ourselves.

Fear of your own panic leads in many situations fugitive to the fact that he loses his memory. He may even think that he has a memory problem, but in fact he has a problem with fear. During course seminars "Become an entertainer" I have seen this picture more than once: one of the participants, fugitive, must speak to the rest and tell something or hold a mini-conference; but even when he is well prepared and knows his material, fear at the last minute builds up to such a level that everything flies out of the speaker's head. Sometimes he just leaves his body, and it freezes in front of us, like a paralyzed one, like a sleepwalker. Fortunately, this problem is gradually being solved as he gets over his rejection trauma.

It is interesting to see how our traumas affect our relationship with food. A person feeds his physical body in the same way as the mental and emotional. Fugitive prefers small portions; he often loses his appetite when he experiences bouts of fear or other strong emotions. Of all the listed types fugitive he is most prone to anorexia: he almost completely refuses food, because he seems to himself too big and plump, although in reality the opposite is true. Weight loss below normal, exhaustion - this is his attempt to disappear. Sometimes appetite wins, and then fugitive greedily pounces on food - this is also an attempt to disappear, to dissolve in food. However, this method fugitives rarely used; more often they are attracted to alcohol or drugs.

Runaways they have a weakness for sweets, especially when they are overcome by strong fear. Since fear robs a person of energy, it is natural to assume that introducing sugar into the body can make up for the loss. Indeed, sugar gives energy, but, unfortunately, not for long, so you have to replenish it in this way too often.

Our traumas keep us from being ourselves; Because of this, blocks occur in the body and, as a result, diseases. Each type of character has its own special ailments and illnesses, determined by its internal mental structure.

Here are some typical fugitive illness and indisposition.

* He often suffers from DIARRHEA - he rejects, throws away food before the body has time to assimilate the nutrients, just like he rejects a situation that could be beneficial for him.

* Many suffer from ARRYTHMIA - an irregular heart rhythm. When the heart begins to beat like crazy, they have a feeling that it wants to escape from the chest, fly away; this is another form of wanting to avoid a painful situation.

* I have said before that the wound of the rejected is so painful that fugitive it is quite logical to develop hatred for the parent of the same sex, whom he, as a child, condemned for the suffering caused to him. However, the fugitive cannot forgive himself for hating his parent and prefers not to think and not to know about the existence of this hatred. Not giving himself the right to hate the parent of the same sex, he can bring himself to the disease of CANCER: this disease is associated with bitterness, anger, hatred - with mental pain experienced in loneliness. If a person manages to come to a confession that he hated or hates a parent, there will be no cancer. He may develop an acute illness if he continues to harbor designs hostile to that parent, but it will not be cancer. Cancer manifests itself most often in someone who has suffered a lot, but blames only himself for this. To agree that you hate your father or mother is really difficult, because it means admitting that you are evil and heartless; it also means admitting that you are rejecting the parent you yourself accuse of rejecting you. Fugitive does not give himself the right to be a child. He forces maturation believing that this way he will suffer less from his trauma. For this reason, his body (or some part of it) resembles the body of a child. Cancer disease indicates that he did not give the child in himself the right to suffer. He did not accept what is humanly fair - to hate the parent, whom you consider the culprit of your suffering.

* Among other diseases characteristic of fugitive, we also see disturbances in the RESPIRATORY FUNCTIONS, especially during panic.

*Fugitive prone to ALLERGIES is a reflection of the aversion that he has experienced or is experiencing in relation to certain foods or substances.

* He may also choose to vomit as an indicator of his disgust for a particular person or situation. I even heard such statements from teenagers: “I want to vomit my mother (or father).” It is not uncommon for a fugitive to want to "vomit up" a situation or a hateful person and may express their feelings by saying, "That's a sickening person" or "Changing your conversations makes you sick." All of these are ways to express your desire to reject someone or something.

* VERTIGO or FAINTENANCE are also suitable remedies if you really want to avoid a situation or a person.

* In serious cases fugitive rescued by KOMA.

* Fugitive, AGORAPHOBIA sufferer uses this disorder when he wants to avoid certain situations and people that can cause him to panic (more on this behavioral disorder will be discussed in Chapter 3).

* If fugitive abuses sugar, it can provoke pancreatic diseases such as HYPOGLYCEMIA or DIABETES.

* If he has accumulated too much hatred for the parent as a result of the suffering experienced and experienced by him as a rejected being, and if he has reached his emotional and mental limit, then he may develop a DEPRESSIVE or MANIC-DEPRESSIVE state. If he contemplates suicide, he does not speak of it, and when he proceeds to action, he provides for everything so as not to fail. Those who often talk about suicide and are usually mistaken when moving into action belong rather to the category of the abandoned; he will be a speech in the next chapter.

* To the fugitive from childhood it is difficult to recognize oneself as a full-fledged human being, therefore he strives to be like a hero or heroine he adores, he is ready to get lost, dissolve in his idol - for example, a young girl longs to be Marilyn Monroe; this lasts until she decides to be someone else. The danger of such a deviation in behavior lies in the fact that over time it can turn into PSYCHOSIS.

The illnesses and ailments listed above are possible in people with other types of trauma, but still most common in those who feel rejected.

If you find yourself traumatized by being rejected, it is more than likely that your same-sex parent also feels rejected by their same-sex parent; moreover, it is very likely that he feels rejected by you as well. This may not be realized by either side, nevertheless it is true and confirmed by thousands of people - fugitives.

Remember: the main reason for the existence of any injury is the inability to forgive yourself for the wound inflicted on yourself or other people. Forgiving ourselves is very difficult because, as a rule, we do not even know that we are judging ourselves. The deeper your rejection wound, the more unmistakably it indicates that you are rejecting yourself - or rejecting other people, situations and projects.

We blame others for what we don't want

see in ourselves.

That is why we attract those people who show us how we behave with others or with ourselves.

Shame is another means of becoming aware that we are rejecting ourselves or rejecting another person. Indeed, we experience a sense of shame when we want to hide or hide our behavior.

It is normal to find shameful behavior for which we reproach others. We really don't want them to find out that we are behaving the same way.

Remember: everything described above is experienced

only if the sufferer

rejected person accepts

decision to wear a fugitive mask, believing

that thus avoid suffering,

proportional to the depth of the injury. This

he wears a mask on occasion

a few minutes a week, in others -

almost constantly.

Behavior typical of fugitive, dictated by the fear of repeating the suffering of the rejected. But it may also be that you recognize yourself in some of the behaviors described above, but not in all. A complete match of all characteristics is almost impossible. Each trauma has its own forms of behavior and internal states. How a person thinks, feels, speaks and acts (in accordance with his traumas) determines his reaction to everything that happens in life. A person in a state of reaction cannot be balanced, cannot be focused in his heart, cannot experience well-being and happiness. That's why it's so important to be aware of when you're reacting and when you're being yourself. If this succeeds, then you have the opportunity to become the master of your life, and not let your fears rule it.

My goal in this chapter is to help you recognize the trauma of being rejected. If you recognize yourself in a mask fugitive, then in the last chapter you will find complete information on how to heal from this trauma, how to become yourself again and not suffer from the feeling that everyone rejects you. If you do not find this trauma in yourself, then I advise you to turn to those who know you well for confirmation; this will eliminate the error. As I said, the rejectionist's trauma may be shallow, and then you will have only certain characteristic features. fugitive. Let me remind you that one should trust first of all the physical description, because the physical body never lies, in contrast to its owner, who is quite capable of deceiving himself.

If you find this trauma in someone around you, you should not try to change him. Instead, use what you learn in this book to develop more compassion for other people, to better understand the nature of their reactive behavior. And it is better for them to read this book themselves, if THEM have an interest in the problem, than to try to retell it to them.

Characteristics of injury

REJECTED

Awakening Trauma: from the moment of conception to one year; with same-sex parent . Does not feel the right to exist.

Mask: fugitive.

Parent: the same gender.

Body: compressed, narrow, fragile, fragmented.

Eyes: small, with an expression of fear; impression of a mask around the eyes.

Dictionary:"nothing" "no one" "does not exist" "disappear", "I'm sick of...".

Character: Detachment from the material. The pursuit of excellence. Intelligence. Transitions through stages of great love to periods of deep hatred. He does not believe in his right to exist. Sexual difficulties. He considers himself useless, worthless. Strives for privacy. Stewed. Knows how to be invisible. Finds a variety of ways to escape. Easily goes to the astral plane. He thinks he is not understood. Can't let her inner child live in peace.

Most afraid of: panic.

Nutrition: Appetite often disappears due to the influx of emotions or fear. Eats small portions. Sugar, alcohol and drugs as escape routes. predisposition to anorexia.

Typical diseases: Skin Diarrhea Arrhythmia Respiratory dysfunction Allergies Vomiting Fainting Coma Hypoglycemia Diabetes Depression Suicidal tendencies Psychoses.

Purely by chance in a bookstore, my hand reached for Liz Burbo's book "5 Injuries That Prevent You from Being Yourself." Having bought this book, I read it in 2 days and realized that it fell into my hands not by chance, it was just time to deal with my childhood trauma, which affects my adult life. Strange as it may sound, while reading this book, it seemed to me that the author knows me even better than I know myself, as well as my relatives and friends. If you are interested, but you don’t have time to read the book at all, then I wrote this article just for you.

Perhaps we should start with the fact that every person has a trauma, and maybe more than one, which he received in childhood thanks to his mother or father, or the person who raised him. This trauma forces us to put on a mask in life in order not to experience pain, betrayal and humiliation again. The fear of being abandoned or rejected again forces us to adhere to a certain pattern of behavior so that no one will ever guess about our suffering, even ourselves. Liz Burbo, as a result of many years of practice, has identified 5 injuries that prevent us from living, masks that we unconsciously put on and methods for healing childhood wounds.

5 traumas that interfere with life:

Trauma - rejected

The person who received this injury does not feel the right to exist in this world. It may be an unwanted child who nevertheless came into the world, or it may be a child who was rejected by a parent of the same sex from the moment of birth to one year. Such a person has been wearing the “Runaway” mask since childhood, he longs to run away, disappear, evaporate and not take up so much space. For this reason, by the way, he looks very thin, even skinny, as the body reacts to a subconscious desire. In the eyes of a fugitive, you will always see fear, he is very unsure of himself, he feels awkward in large companies, he is always silent and tries to disappear as quickly as possible and find himself in such comfortable solitude. Another characteristic feature of the fugitive is the desire for perfection in everything, if he does something, then he does it perfectly or does not start doing it at all. In this way, he tries to realize himself and prove to himself that he has something to love for. People suffering from the trauma of the rejected often have problems with the skin, since it is it that is the contact organ with the outside world, the problematic skin seems to push the outside world away from itself and says with all its appearance: "Don't touch me." Also, such people tend to suffer from diarrhea, since they themselves suffer from rejection trauma, they reject food that has not had time to be digested. For the same reason, they often vomit. Some fugitives escape from reality with the help of alcohol, this helps them temporarily disappear and stop experiencing nagging pain.

Trauma - abandoned

The next of the 5 injuries that interfere with life is abandoned. The person who carries this trauma in himself received it because of the parent of the opposite sex, as he did not pay due attention to him, did not show care and love. That is why a person suffering from the trauma of an abandoned person experiences constant emotional hunger and strives to “cling” to another person in order to satisfy this hunger. The mask used by the abandoned is "Dependent". He is sure that he cannot achieve anything on his own, without the support of other people, he just needs words of approval and advice, which, by the way, he does not follow later. For him, the main thing is to have a person nearby who you can rely on, since he is not confident in his abilities. The physique of the addict corresponds to his injury: a thin, long body that has underdeveloped muscles. From the outside, it seems that the muscular system will not hold his body and a person, in order not to fall, just needs to lean on someone. This is what happens in life. Experiencing emotional hunger, the addict strives to find at least someone to depend on him. At the same time, he does not know how to control his emotions: he gets upset because of a trifle, cries easily, and after a minute he can laugh again. Such a person is usually very suspicious, tends to exaggerate and dramatize everything, “making an elephant out of a fly” is about her. More than anything, the addict is afraid of loneliness, because then there is no one to get attention, support and help from. A person suffering from the trauma of the abandoned often has a childish timbre of voice, likes to ask a lot of questions and hardly accepts rejection, because at the same time he feels abandoned again. The most common illnesses associated with this injury are asthma, myopia, migraines, and depression.

Trauma - humiliated

A humiliated child experiences insults, criticism, censure from a very early age, but most often the trauma of the humiliated is manifested if the child hears all this from the mother in the period from 1 to 3 years. If the mother blames the child, forcing him to feel guilt, shame, then he, in turn, perceives this as a humiliation, especially if the conversation takes place in front of strangers. Such a child in the future puts on the mask of the "Masochist". This means that a person will look for problems, humiliations and various situations in which he can suffer all his life. From childhood he experienced humiliation, did not hear a kind word, therefore he does not consider himself worthy of a different attitude, even to himself. Since he is used to always being ashamed of everything, the body listens to his subconscious and grows in size. A masochist occupies a lot of space not only in space, but also in the lives of other people. He strives to help everyone, solve problems for them, suggest and point out. Such a person seems to be kind, as he voluntarily takes part in the problems of other people, but in fact his behavior is motivated by fear of shame in front of others and himself. He is ready to do everything so that he is no longer criticized and finally praised! A masochist is usually hypersensitive, the slightest trifle hurts and offends him, but he, as a rule, does not even notice those moments when he offends and hurts other people. A person with a trauma of the humiliated often suffers from back diseases, as he takes on his shoulders an unbearable burden - responsibility for the lives of other people, as well as respiratory diseases, when he is suffocated by other people's problems, the thyroid gland, since it is difficult for him to realize his needs and declare his own. requirements.

Trauma is betrayal

This trauma is experienced by a child aged 2-4 years with a parent of the opposite sex. The child feels that the parent has betrayed him every time he does not keep his word, prefers someone else, and not him, or when he abuses the child's trust. In this case, the child, in order not to feel the pain of the injury, puts on the “Controlling” mask. The body develops in accordance with this mask, it radiates strength and power, showing with all its appearance that the owner is a responsible person and can be trusted. Such a person is confident in his abilities, he likes to be the first and the best, he is used to controlling himself and others. He is very demanding of others as he is of himself and is often frustrated that they cannot be trusted with anything and that he has to do everything himself. In his actions, the controller loves speed, so he gets very annoyed when someone does his job slowly. Often such a person becomes aggressive if the situation gets out of his control. He tries to foresee and foresee everything in order to avoid another betrayal in his life. He rarely listens to others and does as he sees fit, but requires others to strictly follow his recommendations. People who are traumatized by betrayal most often suffer from problems with the digestive system, agrophobia, diseases of the joints, and diseases whose names end in -it.

Trauma is an injustice

The child receives this trauma mainly with a parent of the same sex between the ages of three and five. Protective mask - "Rigidity". Rigid strives for justice and perfection, it is very difficult for him to understand that what he does may seem unfair to others and vice versa - what others do to him may seem unfair only to him, as he suffers from this trauma. The physique of a rigid one is perfect and proportional, because this is fair ... Such a person is very hardworking, he has always been appreciated for his achievements and successes, and not just like that. But he is often prone to conflicts, as he is an ardent fighter for justice. The biggest fear for a rigid person is the fear of making a mistake, because then he can act unfairly towards others, and he tries to prevent this. Unfortunately, the rigid often refuses the blessings of life if he considers it unfair to others and envies others if he considers that they are not worthy of it. In such a constant struggle, he earns himself nervous exhaustion, constipation, loss of vision and insomnia.

The first step to healing 5 traumas that interfere with life is their awareness, acceptance, and only then work with them. By the way, you don’t need to blame your parents for everything, because, as Liz Burbo writes in her book, souls already knew what injuries they needed to get in life in order to work off their karma and simply chose parents who would provide them with the necessary conditions. The responsibility for your life always rests with you, and other people and situations are a reflection of your inner decision to experience certain lessons.

For more information, you can read Liz Bourbo's book "Five Injuries That Prevent You from Being Yourself" and I hope that you will be able to heal your life.

With love, Yulia Kravchenko

If you have any questions while reading the article, you can ask me. I will answer you with pleasure!

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