My boyfriend is a psychologist how to communicate with him. Rules of communication with men psychology. Psychological characteristics of a woman
In this article, psychologist Evgenia Dvoretskaya answers the question "How to communicate with men psychology?".
Mistakes in communicating with men
Rules for communicating with men
Women's tricks in communicating with men
Some myths about men
With the development of modern television, technology, the Internet, etc. many women began to crawl more and more into the network of various myths, from which illusions are then built and wrong images or comparisons are born. One of these myths, or rather several myths, are the prevailing and not always true stereotypes about men. In this article we will try to dispel some of them, which cannot be attributed to all representatives of the strong half of humanity.
The first myth sounds like: "All men need only one thing." And this is the first female delusion. The dissemination of such myths through television or fashionable glossy magazines is mainly carried out by women who, for one reason or another, could not arrange their own personal lives. Very often, men have quite serious intentions when they get acquainted with a girl they like, they are pleased to communicate, her manners are pleasant, and the thought of how to get her into bed as soon as possible does not play in their thoughts. No, this misconception is common and wrong.
The second myth goes like a well-known saying: “The way to a man’s heart lies through his, right, stomach!” And this circumstance also cannot be equated to all men. If you want to sit on his neck, then you can’t think of a better option, otherwise, it’s best to look for an individual approach in specific conditions.
The third myth says that men do not cry, but only get upset, and this is perhaps the main misconception of modern women. You should start with the fact that upset and cry, in principle, are identical words, which means that in certain situations a man may well cry, naturally, that he will try to do it alone and not show it in public. Men cry, and sometimes even do it like children, simply imposed stereotypes often make them hold back resentment or anger, which, by the way, does not have a very positive effect on their physical and moral health.
The fourth myth is the opinion that for a man, gatherings with friends are akin to a holy event, and here it is worth making a reservation. Indeed, very often a man runs away to his friends from everyday problems, mainly in his personal life, who else but they will be able to listen and understand him, drinking a liter of another good beer?
And finally, it is worth taking off the rose-colored glasses for those girls who believe that real men are exceptionally financially successful. No, this is not always the case, because the "tough guys" are known to give women the most trouble, and what then is their masculinity?
Representatives of the stronger sex by nature tend to talk little and exclusively on business. It is difficult to untwist them into a sincere conversation, they rarely agree to discuss uninteresting topics and try to remain silent more. How to communicate with a man in order to create a pleasant atmosphere and turn a female monologue into a dialogue? What are the guys interested in, what should be talked about at a meeting, and what should be kept silent so that communication does not stop too quickly?
Classic tricks
Psychology will tell you how to communicate with men correctly. Male representatives, first of all, are pronounced males who want to be leaders in everything - from headship in the family to personal achievements in sports or other hobbies. At the same time, they need support, approval, an inconspicuous direction. Guys, like big children, love to play with adult toys and are not averse to discussing them with others. How to communicate with a guy in order to drag him into the network of conversation for a long time?
A sincere smile brings people together. The psychology of communication with men explains why he should see a friendly and positive expression on the face of the interlocutor. This is necessary for the person to relax and feel that what he is talking about is of interest. A smile and infectious laughter are the main weapons of a girl who wants to continue communication.
Communication with a man implies that the lady provides only truthful information about herself. Do not create an image of a know-it-all, do not be afraid to say directly if something is unknown to you. Do not invent non-existent facts when answering a juicy or unpleasant question, just offer to drop this topic. If you are counting on the development of relations, it is better to immediately report real facts about yourself.
A woman speaks twice as many words in a day as a gentleman. How to talk to a man? Be a listener for a while, let him talk. During the conversation, be sure to ask questions on the topic, establish eye contact and demonstrate extreme interest.
What to avoid
A gentleman is a vulnerable creature, despite all the external severity. So that the conversation does not cause negative emotions in him, it is necessary to build it very carefully. The rules of communication with a man imply that the conversation will not:
- moralizing;
- discontent;
- critics;
- command tone;
- ridicule for shortcomings.
Failure to comply with these conditions will lead to the fact that you will have to part with the male representative.
Choosing a topic for conversation
What to talk about with a man? The success of communication depends on the correctly chosen topic of conversation. To interest a guy, you need to choose the topic that catches him more than others. What could it be?
- Hobby. Find out what your interlocutor is interested in and try to develop the topic. Even if you don't know the ins and outs of fishing, hunting, or modeling, show interest in your boyfriend's favorite pastime.
- Women. With friends and male colleagues, you can talk about the advantages and disadvantages of modern young ladies. In this case, it is better for a woman to take a neutral position and just listen carefully to a man.
- Food. If your meeting takes place in a restaurant or cafe, it would be very appropriate to talk about gastronomic preferences. Discuss the peculiarities of the cuisines of different countries, talk about the features of proper or balanced nutrition. Perhaps the man loves to cook and has his own culinary secrets.
- Cinema novelties. Discuss the latest premieres. Share your impressions about the plot or the acting of the actors, discuss the prospects of the picture. From new products, you can smoothly move on to discussing your favorite films that have been released for a long time. This will help determine the commonality of tastes.
- Gadgets. What to communicate with a man, if not about the nuances of working with tablets, phones and computers. This topic is always relevant, because the vast majority of modern gentlemen constantly use gadgets and closely monitor the release of electronic novelties.
The table will help you learn how to talk to a man correctly. It can consist of two columns: the topic for conversation fits into the first one, and the theses and issues worth discussing without going beyond it, the second one.
How to talk to a man about relationships? Gentlemen categorically do not like such conversations. How to become easy in communication with a man? You should start a conversation about relationships and feelings only when the situation allows and the guy himself is disposed to frankness.
Subtleties of virtual communication
How to chat with a man? During virtual communication, a person cannot understand the tone of the interlocutor, so you should not pour ambiguous phrases. The guy may have the wrong opinion about the interlocutor, which may prompt him to interrupt the dialogue. Communication with a man on the Internet has its own characteristics:
- do not reveal all the secrets at once - a mystery should always remain in a woman;
- take the conversation seriously;
- clarify the details - let the virtual interlocutor feel that he is interesting;
- write correctly, but do not point out the guy to the mistakes he made;
- answer in detail, but in short phrases or sentences.
In virtual communication with a guy, psychology recommends making pauses between answers so that they are really long-awaited and the person does not think that they communicate with him only out of boredom.
Women's secrets of communication with men
The rules for communicating with a man are quite simple:
- be polite in any situation;
- do not demand, but ask;
- do not boast of education if the interlocutor is less intellectually developed;
- for quarrels, choose only serious reasons;
- do not encroach on men's freedom - he has the right to communicate not only with you;
- know how to listen and hear.
The art of communicating with men requires constant improvement. To understand the psychology of the opposite sex, you can visit thematic psychological trainings.
Taboos and prohibitions
Quite often it happens that a girl cannot maintain a normal conversation with a guy. She is embarrassed, pinched, her speech is turned into a long monologue or the conversation goes on topics completely alien to the gentleman. The most common mistakes in communicating with men:
- talk about lack of money and health;
- discussion of people unfamiliar to the guy;
- analysis of the latest gossip;
- dialogue about minor everyday difficulties;
- intimate subjects, if you are new to it.
By choosing the right communication tactics, you can quickly win over a male representative. Between two interlocutors peacefully talking about interesting things, mutual sympathy can quickly arise, which eventually develops into a deeper feeling.
Hello dear readers of the blog Samprosvetbulletin!
If you watch how men and women train in the gym, you can notice differences in behavior. A man, having just learned a new exercise, already wants to add more weight and speed, having done it only twice. A woman will first want to understand how to perform the exercise, will do it slowly and watch to do everything right.
One of the unpleasant moments for men is to feel strong emotions and not know what to do with them. Men experience various emotions, but they are often frightened. And the natural transition from fear is anger and a desire to hide from the source of emotions. How often have you sought understanding of your subtle inner experiences from men, and how often have you found it? I'm sure many women are now sighing heavily. Sometimes it seems that men are just selfish and point-blank do not see women's experiences.
To be prepared, it is already enough to know that a man always wants to be able to keep everything under control. To be a man who is confused and does not understand what is happening means for him to lose part of the male essence. A man doesn't want to feel that way.
To improve communication with a man, show him that you believe in his ability to solve problems. Or at least don't try to shake his faith in his abilities.
1. Men want to conquer, women want to take care of.
2. Men want to impress and arouse admiration, women want to be empathized with.
3. Men prioritize achievement, women prioritize relationships.
4. Men focus on the task and are able to ignore irrelevant information. It is easier for a woman to change tasks, giving each a certain amount of time.
5. The purpose of communication for men is to convey information, for women - to establish relationships.
6. A man in his mind can separate emotions, attitudes and information, while a woman tends to connect it all together.
How to learn to communicate with men? This question worries not only young girls, it is also relevant for middle-aged women. Why is this topic so interesting? Attracting the attention of a man is not difficult, especially for those who are young and confident, but how to keep it? What to talk about? What to interest? If, as a rule, there are no difficulties in communication with peers, then in relationships with an older man they appear very often.
Women who have been married for many years, oddly enough, also face this problem. One not-so-beautiful morning, they wake up with the thought that they have absolutely nothing to talk about with their spouse.
The question of how to properly communicate with a woman with a man is also of interest to those ladies who often have to deal with the stronger sex due to official duties. And if you have to host friends of your loved one? How to talk to them? How to behave? After all, you want to make a good impression.
The question of how to communicate with men correctly has been studied by psychology for a very long time. Even before the advent of psychologists, philosophers and thinkers, writers, and poets dealt with this issue. Accordingly, a lot of knowledge has accumulated, which formed the basis of various psychological techniques that allow women to properly build their communication with the stronger sex.
What should be forgotten once and for all?
The phrase: “I don’t know how to communicate with men” is a taboo. You can't not only say that, you shouldn't even think like that. Of course, you need to be able to recognize your shortcomings, and be aware of your problems. But not in this case and not in this formulation.
Firstly, a thought tends to materialize, and even spoken out loud is a sentence at all. Thinking in this way, a woman reduces her own self-esteem, gains self-doubt and exacerbates the difficulties that arise when communicating with the stronger sex. No need to brand yourself, because the loss of confidence deprives attractiveness. It is better to say utter nonsense with a royal posture and a raised chin than to discuss topics that are relevant and interesting for a man with lowered shoulders and an ingratiating, questioning look.
“I don’t know how to communicate with men - what should I do?” - It's not about a woman. This is about the "gray stocking", not noticing anything around, except for the pages of encyclopedias, statistical indicators of economic growth, or something like that.
Starting with such a statement, it is unlikely that tangible progress will be made. Successful communication between representatives of different sexes is based on flirting, coquetry, lightness and naturalness. You can’t approach it as a lesson that needs to be memorized and answered at the blackboard with “excellent”. There are no strict rules and restrictions, the correct manner of communication should not be memorized, but felt intuitively. And in intuition and feelings, every woman is an expert from birth. But even the most experienced expert sometimes needs a couple of tips that will help to correctly assess the situation and achieve the desired result.
Little tricks - big results
How to learn to communicate with men? Very simple: you need to learn from the representatives of the stronger sex. Of course, you don’t need to approach the man you like with a notebook and a pencil, ready to take notes on a lecture on the art of communication.
You need to be smarter and just watch both the representatives of the stronger sex in general and the person you like. You need to notice everything - demeanor, reactions, gestures, facial expressions, taste preferences, volume of speech. There are no minor trifles when a person behaves naturally, he fully reveals himself, like a book, all that remains is to read it and draw conclusions.
The ability to observe, notice and analyze is the first female trick.
You should not approach a man and strike up a conversation with him. Everyone knows about this, although modern emancipated young ladies usually do not agree with this rule. What to do? It is necessary to create an accident, thanks to which a man will have no other choice but to meet and start communicating with a woman. Aerobatics is the creation of a situation in which the representative of the stronger sex feels like a knight on a white horse. How to do it? There are no limits for fantasy. You can accidentally stumble on the escalator next to him or "run into" a person in a cafe.
Creating situations is the second female trick.
But how to communicate with a man? The answer is paradoxical: it must be done silently. Of course, you should not be silent in the literal sense of the word, but you need to make sure that the man speaks. You should not be sure that women's Twitter delights the representatives of the stronger sex. You should not conduct a monologue, but skillfully manage the dialogue, filling in pauses and asking leading questions that stimulate men's stories. Of course, you need to listen carefully: sometimes the representatives of the stronger sex are frank and give out a lot of useful information about themselves.
The ability to be silent and listen is the third female trick.
If a woman makes them her habit, then she will never have questions about how to learn to communicate with men.
Features of male psychology
Who are men essentially? On the one hand, each of them considers himself an alpha male and a getter, a hunter, and on the other, they are all big children. Of course, this is a very exaggerated assessment of the features inherent in the psychology of the stronger sex. Each man is a unique person, with his own inner world. However, to build communication tactics, highlighting and taking into account stereotypical features is quite enough.
How to learn to communicate with men, because they are so unlike women? There will be no difficulties in this, if you do not forget that in front of a woman is not a friend, but a “male”, “hunter”, “child”.
How does this affect communication? Men are comfortable and interesting with the woman next to whom they feel significant. How to achieve this in practice? It is necessary to build conversations in such a way that a man feels like a leader, while constantly fighting for the elusive attention of a woman and having the opportunity to show off his “toys”.
How to communicate on the Internet?
How to communicate with a man on dating sites, social networks, online games, on thematic forums? This question is extremely important today. The Internet makes it possible for women to find their love or just meet an interesting interlocutor away from home, work.
The basic rules of communication in the virtual space are no different from building a conversation in real life. But, of course, there are some nuances. First, forget about generalizations. If in real life the phrase “about nothing” is complemented by body language, facial expressions, gestures and is a stimulus for fantasy, arousing interest, then in the virtual space it acts exactly the opposite.
The lack of specifics leads, firstly, to the loss of interest of a particular interlocutor, and secondly, to an expansion of the audience. For example, if a woman’s age is not indicated on a woman’s page, then both “ancient elders” and teenagers will write to her. If there is no good clear photo, both "lovers" of fat women and those who care about the indicators on the scales will begin to bother her. In the absence of information about habits, fans of a healthy lifestyle and those who spend evenings in billiards for a glass of beer will turn.
What's bad about it? Only that with an abundance of options, most of which are of no interest, a woman loses her “target audience”.
The conversation itself is built in the same way as in life. You need to listen to a man, approve his thoughts, laugh at his jokes, admire him in moderation and, of course, show interest in his “toys”. It is the achievements and hobbies of men that are the main topics for communication in the virtual space. Only by telling “about himself beloved”, he will not lose interest in communication and will want to transfer it to real life.
Should we talk about children and marriage?
A similar question often arises among those who want to understand how to communicate with a man in order to create a family. On the one hand, I want to indicate my own serious attitude towards “true values” and inspire respect from the representative of the stronger sex, but on the other hand, will he run away?
Of course, all people are different. If the acquaintance initially took place with the aim of creating a family, it is possible that you need to talk about children. However, it is better not to do this. A man by his psychological nature is a hunter. Listening to how the interlocutor describes a house with a white fence, a couple of funny kids and a golden Labrador on the lawn by the porch, he will not be touched at all. Intuitively, the representative of the stronger sex will feel that he is “driven into a trap”, that it is not he who “hunts”, but him. And this will cause the strongest negative emotional outburst, the man will become very uncomfortable, and he will stop communicating.
How to react if a man himself talks about children and marriage?
What to do if a man is interested in such topics? laugh it off? Ignore? In no case. The representative of the stronger sex did not just start asking questions, it is important for him the woman's attitude to the topics of family and marriage.
But his curiosity is of a general nature, he does not call down the aisle with his questions and does not offer to start arranging the nursery. No need to paint your love for children and talk about the passionate desire to acquire them. Suffice it to say that sometimes such thoughts come to mind, but when and how exactly they will come true is the question. With this turn of the conversation, the hunting excitement of a man will be stimulated, not crushed.
However, you need to understand that the communication of a woman with a man does not have clear rules, patterns or stereotypes. If there is an intuitive feeling that something should be said or done, there is no need to suppress it just because psychologists do not recommend doing this.
He is older: how to build relationships
How to learn to communicate with a man older than yourself? This is a very difficult question with no specific answer. You need to start from a certain situation. First, it is important to know what age difference we are talking about. If between a woman and a man is 15-20 years old, then communication is built according to general principles, there are no features in it.
But what if, for example, a girl is 16, and a man is 60? Of course, there are not so many such couples, but nevertheless, romances between people with an age difference of 30 years or more happen. How to keep the attention of such a man?
First, you need to understand the nature of relationships, their essence. A young woman can completely misjudge an outbreak of romance. The plans of an elderly man may well completely exclude communication and be limited only to “quality sex”. If so, it is worth considering whether such a novel is needed? Assess relationship prospects. There will always be someone younger, more attractive, more liberated, and the woman will remain "out of work." If there is a desire to translate relations into a serious direction, then a lot of effort will have to be made. What they will be depends on the specific situation.
In general, the specifics of communicating with people who are older is that they grew up in different conditions, they have their own interests, humor, habits. It is like communicating with a foreigner or with an alien. And that is exactly how it should be approached.
As a rule, most of the advice of psychologists relates to questions about what is interesting for a man and how a young girl can understand them. However, if we consider communication as a clash of different cultures, which it actually is, then a rather curious nuance emerges. On the one hand, a woman can learn something, learn something new for herself, but on the other hand, a man also makes discoveries in such communication.
It is worth taking advantage of this and building communication not on tricks and tricks, but on the mutual exchange of information, experience, and interests. An elderly man is familiar with all female techniques, so maybe you should surprise him and not use them?
How to learn to communicate with men when meeting?
It often happens that a woman does not experience any problems when communicating with men, but is lost at the moment of meeting a handsome representative of the stronger sex. For example, she may start chatting incessantly and constantly giggle, or be unnecessarily rude, cynical, harsh.
This is a manifestation of excitement. An adult, intelligent and experienced man understands perfectly well that such behavior is generally unusual for a girl, and simply waits for it. But not all men at the time of meeting are ready to think about whether a woman is really so eccentric or not. Yes, and many of them are not at all sure of their own irresistibility, respectively, they cannot even imagine that they cause excitement and confusion.
What to do? How to cope with yourself and not do stupid things? We need to talk less and listen more. You should ask questions, not "read monologues." But of course, when asking about something, you need to carefully listen to the answer. It is also important not to abuse alcohol. Alcoholic drinks are liberating, but they also contribute to the loss of control.
The only difficulty that actually arises when communicating at the initial stage is your own excitement. That is what he needs to deal with. There are no templates for how a conversation should be conducted.
Many famous psychologists, such as Dale Carnegie, emphasize the importance of first impressions. Do not neglect their advice when meeting a man.
If a woman is worried, she needs:
- smile, sincerely and a little mysteriously, but by no means constantly;
- speak not very loudly, so that the man hears without straining;
- look into the eyes of the interlocutor, and not to the side or down;
- do not violate personal spatial boundaries;
- talk less about yourself and listen more;
- interrupt the meeting first, citing some circumstance and expressing regret at the end of the meeting.
These are very simple and effective ways that will help not only cope with internal trembling, but also leave an indelible impression of yourself. After spending the evening with a woman who behaves in this way, a man will begin to miss her even before she has time to fall asleep.
How to learn how to properly communicate with male colleagues?
This question is very delicate. A rare woman does not sigh, looking with envy at how another easily builds a career or shifts her duties to men.
Communication with colleagues involves two main options:
- "your boyfriend";
- "beautiful woman".
The first option implies adherence to the principles of gender equality and completely excludes the perception by men of an employee as a woman. They see her as a colleague and friend with whom they can gossip, run out for lunch, go to a bar after the end of the working day. If a woman is treated like this, you should not expect men to open doors, pay bills or help in something.
Another option for building relationships is based on flirting. The woman following him should show her helplessness, admire the successes of her colleagues, make compliments, emphasize their masculinity and strength, intelligence. Such a line of behavior causes a "knightly reflex". This woman wants to help. But, there are downsides to positioning yourself this way - envy and anger from female colleagues, an abundance of gossip and the likelihood that some of the men will decide that they can go beyond flirting.
So what is the right way to communicate with colleagues? Just the way it is convenient. Unfortunately, it is impossible to combine both options for building relationships with men at work. However, choosing the type of behavior "beautiful woman", it is important not to play too much and not to forget that there are colleagues around, and not potential suitors.
Hello dear readers of the blog Samprosvetbulletin!
“... the psychology of communication with men for me comes down to the fact that I stopped bothering. Most men do not know how to communicate with women. My friend sometimes blurts out such things to me ... and this is called, he was joking. Before, I was nervous because of every word, thought it over, scrolled through my head, looked for the meaning, and he forgot the next day, ” writes Love.
“I read a lot of books on the psychology of communication with men, but they didn’t help me in business. Why is it so hard to talk to men? Is it because they are unable to openly express their true feelings, are closed to emotions, or are afraid of relationships? Sometimes there are situations that you just don’t know anymore, ... " Maria writes.
In fact, men lead active emotional lives. They just use a different palette of emotional colors, which is associated with their leading needs.
Many men are not ready to easily reveal their emotions because they are not as important to them as solving problems. The leading need of men is to “conquer”, go towards the goal, solve specific problems, while the leading need of women is to establish emotional relationships. Therefore, men are so responsive to recognition of their strength, the ability to keep the situation under control and so vulnerable to criticism of their abilities. Women, in turn, react painfully when a man avoids emotional contact and "goes into the cave."
Society evaluates men on their competence and ability to maintain control in any situation. Here I remembered one of my acquaintances, who, by chance, worked for two years in a purely female team, as one of the employees. He was not the boss, he did not have any advantages in position and salary, but no matter what happened, no matter what unforeseen situation happened in the office, all the women immediately turned their heads in his direction and waited for him to solve the problem simply because he's a man.
If you watch how men and women train in the gym, you can notice differences in behavior. A man, having just learned a new exercise, already wants to add more weight and speed, having done it only twice. A woman will first want to understand how to perform the exercise, will do it slowly and watch to do everything right.
One of the unpleasant moments for men is to feel strong emotions and not know what to do with them. Men experience various emotions, but they are often frightened. And the natural transition from fear is anger and a desire to hide from the source of emotions. How often have you sought understanding of your subtle inner experiences from men, and how often have you found it? I'm sure many women are now sighing heavily. Sometimes it seems that men are just selfish and point-blank do not see women's experiences.
The woman who got stuck in the chimney
Once, while traveling in Europe, I accidentally stumbled upon a tragic story in a newspaper. There was a misunderstanding between a man and a woman, they began to quarrel. The woman, trying to prove her case, lost her temper and began to behave emotionally. The man, as often happens, immediately became "closed" and went into himself. He did not answer her phone calls, did not open the door of the house when she came to him. The woman, feeling a strong need to be understood, to explain herself and became angry that he did not allow her to speak out and decided to enter his house through the chimney from the fireplace. She climbed the fire escape to the roof of his house, began to go down the pipe and got stuck. Perhaps she called for help, but the house was private and stood aside, and the man, seeing that she was no longer knocking on his door, went out to air out. He returned home late, when the woman had already suffocated. A couple of days later, smelling it, he called the police, who found his girlfriend dead in a chimney opening.
This story teaches us a lot. In life, I observe similar situations, however, not with such a tragic end. A woman tries to reach out to a man, he closes and becomes as if deaf. If a woman does not stop and try to find another approach, she risks getting "stuck in the chimney".
There are things that our rational thinking cannot change, no matter what the pros and cons it finds. It's like going out in the rain in the morning. What do you think will happen then? If you don't have an umbrella, you will get wet. We don't like to walk around in wet clothes, but this is inevitable because rain is water. And if we do not want to get wet, we need to prepare for the rain, that is, take an umbrella with us. The same is true in, if you are not prepared, you will get some frustration. But if you know how to deal with the natural elements of the male essence, you will be protected.
To be prepared, it is already enough to know that a man always wants to be able to keep everything under control. To be a man who is confused and does not understand what is happening means for him to lose part of the male essence. A man doesn't want to feel that way.
To improve communication with a man, show him that you believe in his ability to solve problems. Or at least don't try to shake his faith in his abilities.
Communication with Men - Memo for Women
1. Men want to conquer, women want to take care of.
2. Men want to impress and arouse admiration, women want to be empathized with.
3. Men prioritize achievement, women prioritize relationships.
4. Men focus on the task and are able to ignore irrelevant information. It is easier for a woman to change tasks, giving each a certain amount of time.
5. The purpose of communication for men is to convey information, for women - to establish relationships.
6. A man in his mind can separate emotions, attitudes and information, while a woman tends to connect it all together.
As you know, at the beginning of a relationship, a man looks at a woman with admiring and adoring eyes. But over time, this sparkle in the eyes goes out, because many couples do not even realize that relationships are work, so you can’t relax.
That woman who wants her beloved to always look only at her must follow some rules for communicating with her beloved man. Let's take a closer look at these rules.
Every man deserves his woman. And vice versa.
Dilya Derdovna Enikeeva
Why are there rules of communication?
Surely each of you has faced such a problem that a man who, at the beginning of your relationship, looked at you with admiring and adoring eyes, eventually loses this brilliance in his eyes.The thing is that many of you forget that any relationship is also work, and you never need to relax, believing that the man is completely yours and that no one can ever separate you.
It doesn’t matter if this is the first date or many years of marriage, a woman who wants the man she loves to always look only at her must follow the unspoken rules of communication with men.
Rule 1: Compliments
First of all, do not forget about compliments and affectionate words. This fact is far from stereotypical, but men react to compliments no less than women.This may be praise regarding appearance, or a compliment to the qualities shown in a certain situation, or a positive assessment of success at work. The main thing is to make the man feel that you see his efforts.
Every man has some virtues, you just need to point them out to him.
Erich Maria Remarque
Rule 2: Learning to listen
Also need to learn to listen. Always let a man talk, inspire him to share his memories, plans, doubts with you. Let him always be in the spotlight, and leave your affairs for the ears of your friends. So he will trust you more and become more attached.
Rule 3: Make contact first
By the way, men are not always the first to make contact, so don't be afraid to inquire and ask questions.Emphasize your interest in your beloved man, he will definitely notice it.
Rule 4: Don't criticize
Another important point is not to criticize. Anyway, do not openly criticize or blame.Of course, showdown generally spoils relationships, but men react to criticism more painfully.
It is better to resort to soft encouraging forms like “next time you will do better”, “it's okay”.
Rule 5: Do not put pressure on a man
should be avoided and pressure on a man. No need to impose any plans or decisions on him, insist on your convictions, argue to exhaustion, let him get the impression that he always decides everything, and you only support him.According to statistics, men more often choose women who are soft and flexible than strong-willed. You can successfully realize your leadership qualities at work or in your favorite hobby.
Rule 6: Don't blame
Not worth it for long reproach a man, if he did not follow your advice, finishing him off with his catchphrase "well, I told you."Here, depending on the degree of globality of the problem, one can either remain silent, or delicately point out that the correct option was present during the discussion, without particularly insisting on its significance.
A man and a woman are two boxes that hold the keys to each other.
Karen Blixen (Isak Dinesen)
Rule 7: We do not take dirty linen out of public
Avoid public showdown, remarks or reproaches in front of strangers, even if they are your best friends. In general, try to make sure that all your problems and misunderstandings remain only between you.Rule 8: We speak directly, without hints
Yes, don't forget that men don't take hints, and if you really need to ask them for something or provide information that you consider extremely important, do it directly, without circumlocution. If you wait for him to understand everything by your meaningful look or guess to do it himself, then you can wait like that all your life.
By the way, if we are talking about a request, then men really like to be useful, to feel needed, so do not be afraid to ask them for specific help, but, of course, without fanaticism.
