How to let go of a grudge against an ex-husband psychology. Don't let yourself be forced into a negative emotional state. Resentment and our internal problems
Resentment is very difficult to live with. It does more harm to the offended than to the offender and deprives him of the opportunity to restore spiritual balance. But for some reason, many people tend to cherish and cherish the offenses inflicted on them, exaggerate them and lengthen the list of their offenders, instead of forgiving the offense and letting go of negative thoughts and feelings.
Any offender- an ordinary person with his own problems and the right to make mistakes. It happens that the offender does not even suspect that he offended a person, and the offended thinks about the insult inflicted day and night, hatching a plan of revenge, and may even provoke the emergence of a psychosomatic illness with his thoughts.
Resentment- this is a complex feeling, it combines many other negative feelings, of which the main two are:
- anger directed at the offender,
- a pity in relation to yourself.
Many psychologists are convinced that resentment is egocentric feeling. When something is not the way one wants, is expected or thought, and one cannot control or manage what is happening, the wounded self-esteem of the egoist provokes resentment.
The whole essence of resentment becomes clear if you know its three basic mental components:
- Building Expectations. A person begins to wait and want from another to commit a particular act. As a rule, he does not report this expectation or assumes that it goes without saying. But another person has inner world and their thoughts, and they cannot (and should not!) coincide 100% with the thoughts of anyone, even loved one.
Absolutely all interpersonal conflicts of any nature and plan have a common “root” - inability of people talk together! The inability to talk with a partner, spouse, colleague, parent, child, friend gives rise to countless intractable problems.
Instead of coming up with a “brilliant plan”, silently waiting for the other person to read the thoughts and certainly act in accordance with the plan, it is better to talk with him, find out what he wants and how he plans to act. If there is love, respect, acceptance, there will be no manipulation, intimidation, ultimatums and scandals.
Giving another person freedom of action and allowing him to do as he wants (and he has every right to do so!), and not imposing his point of view or line of behavior on him, you can protect yourself from resentment.
If we take it as a rule installation not to expect anything from anyone and rely only on themselves, and if necessary, talk about problems, resentment will not arise.
Resentments are better warn than to eliminate, and the best thing is not to be offended at all. True, this is not an easy skill, it is not easy to cultivate it in oneself.
Many grievances - one solution
Resentment is a very strong and inherently destructive state. It prevents the occurrence positive feelings and kills those that are. Worse than resentment can only be revenge. This feeling and act can radically change a person's life for the worse.
Resentment is different:
- Resentment like natural reaction unjustly caused grief or insult.
A person is offended because his feelings, beliefs, his “I” are hurt, when he notices injustice towards himself, deceit, betrayal, ingratitude in the offender’s act. Anger in such an insult can be called righteous anger, but even this does not justify the need to keep negative emotions, and even more so to hatch a plan of revenge.
At the basis of such resentment lies some kind of internal benefit, a person is offended on purpose in order to get it. Basically, it's manipulation. It is born from thoughts like these: “I am the best and everyone should obey me”, “Remember how you offended me? Don’t you want to atone for your guilt?”, “If you don’t do as I say, I’ll be offended and then it will be worse for you!”.
- Resentment like formal reaction. The conditions for the occurrence of such resentment are dictated by the traditions and culture of society. From childhood, people learn what to be offended by and what not, “what is good and what is bad?”. If a child gets used to being offended with or without reason, and at the same time is too proud, he grows up touchy. Sometimes, without feeling offended, people demonstrate it only because in this case it is customary to be offended.
There is only one universal remedy from any kind of resentment - resentment is needed forgive for their own good, to save themselves and regain peace of mind.
But whether it is worth maintaining a relationship with the offender is an ambiguous question. Sometimes offensive actions signal that the existing relationship is destructive and it is better to end it. In other words, sometimes you need not only to forgive, but also to let go of a person.
Five Steps to Forgiveness
Forgiveness is full of wisdom, strength and unconditional love. By forgiving, a person shows kindness, humanity, love for people and for himself. It is, and above all, out of self-love that one must learn to forgive insults.
It's easy to talk about forgiveness, but it's hard to forgive. Sometimes it seems that everything has passed and forgotten, but at the slightest opportunity, memories are born again in the head and provoke resentment. How to forgive once and for all?
First of all To be able to forgive, you need to want it. And this means discarding self-esteem, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop manipulating and using the “privileges” of an offended person, stop winding yourself up and justifying your “righteous anger”.
Secondly, you need to think about the negative consequences that resentment entails:
- constant stress, inner anger, indignation, pity, depression and a lot of other negativity;
- deterioration or rupture of relations, prolonged conflicts, quarrels, etc.;
- health problems (decreased immunity, problems with the heart, thyroid gland, headaches).
Realizing the harm that can cause resentment, it is easier to let it go and decide to continue to enjoy life.
Third, the desire to forgive requires a change in attitude towards the offender as an enemy or villain to a more humane one. You need to try to find or come up with an excuse for the offender. The offended person is not in the right to judge and decide the fate of the offender, revenge and lynching are unacceptable. To establish fairness and justice, there are appropriate government bodies. In all other cases, faith in higher justice will come to the rescue.
Fourth, analyze the offense according to the scheme "expectations - real events- comparison. What did you want? What's happened? What about the offender's behavior did not meet expectations and did not like?
Reflections on these questions will help to discern your selfishness, mistakes, the root causes of resentment; to understand yourself and, most importantly, to understand what you need to change in yourself, your behavior, thoughts, attitudes so that you no longer take offense in a similar situation.
Fifth, learn from the situation of resentment a life lesson. Understanding grievances can help you cope with psychological problems. Perhaps the situation of resentment arose precisely because it was time to understand yourself and work on yourself? Perhaps the offender and the situation of offense only served as an indicator that exposed difficulties and pointed out the path of development?
There are many techniques and techniques to help forgive the offender and let go of the situation of resentment.
There are also special exercises to help let go of resentment. Here are some of them:
It also helps to forgive insults:
- affirmations, prayer, meditation - any words and actions that contained the installation of forgiveness;
- humor, the ability to make fun of the offense;
- an example of other people who managed to forgive the offender in a similar situation.
How less resentment and the more “fresh” it is, the easier it is to get rid of it yourself. In more complex cases, when the resentment is too great, it is no longer just a feeling, but psychological trauma. If the resentment has been accumulating for a long time, is too heavy and so complicated that it is impossible to cope with it on your own, you should seek help from a psychologist.
Read psychological literature on resentment:
- Yu. Morozyuk, S. Morozyuk “10 steps of healing from resentment. Workshop on the development of sanogenic thinking”
- A. Wheaton “Without fear, anger and resentment. Learning to forgive"
- I. Vagin “Anger, resentment, revenge and betrayal”
- T. Zinkevich-Evstigneeva, D. Frolov “It is better to light a candle than to scold the darkness, or How a good person does not let himself be offended”
- H. E. Rankel, J. Rankel
We must forgive those who hurt us and forgive ourselves for all the times we didn't listen to our intuition or made decisions out of hopelessness, as well as for everything we blame ourselves for. Ariel Ford
Before forgiving and letting go of resentment, leaving it in the past, let's think about why it arises in order to become wiser in the future. Feelings of resentment, and with it pain, sadness or anger, anger, a desire for revenge, cause unfulfilled expectations.
And all because of what we give to someone right manage yourself and plan your life, be responsible for its well-being, the ability to make us happy or unhappy.
The perpetrator may be stranger or close, native and most beloved. By the way, people to whom we attach special importance, which means we expect a lot from them, can hurt the most. As a rule, it is not difficult to express your resentment towards unimportant people, for example, strangers on the street. Most notably, it is more difficult to express resentment or even admit it yourself in relation to people with whom we want to maintain peaceful relations, or they are authorities for us.
What happens in such a case? Unfelt and unexpressed negative emotions are directed at the person himself. In psychology, this condition is called auto-aggression, i.e. a person blames himself for everything, which, of course, has a very bad effect on self-esteem and the ability to be successful. It is correct in such a situation to talk about your feelings, intentions and expectations, not expecting that the offender will guess about them himself.
What caused resentment? Every adult person lives with his own “map, plan” of the world in his head. It is assumed, for example, that people should respond to kindness with kindness. Only then does good cease to be good, if expected return good. This is, firstly, and secondly, resentment arises due to betrayal (this was written earlier). Our interests are betrayed, but by whom? First of all, by yourself, no matter how painful it was to realize it. If we assume that you are shifting the sacred duty of making yourself happy to another person, and in return he must do everything for your happiness and well-being, then isn’t it better to take care of your needs yourself right away? Feeling happy, a person attaches much less importance to what the other will do in return.
As Paulo Coelho says “Children renounce their dreams to please their parents, parents renounce life itself to please their children”. And who is happy in the end?
Suppose you doubt that you can make yourself happy and transfer this honorable duty to another person, the one whom you "made happy." It's a little strange, isn't it, to be able to make someone happy and still not be able to make yourself so. It turns out that if you can make someone else happy, then you can certainly make yourself happier.
Therefore, we ourselves will be the owners, creators and healers of our happiness, not trusting it into someone's hands, even the kindest ones. When doing a good deed for someone, the most important thing is to feel the joy that it is in our power to help another (even better if he asked for help himself), and not to hope to receive something in exchange. If there are no positive emotions, if saying “yes” to someone, we say “no” to ourselves, then why do this? Out of fear of being offended? Out of fear of losing something valuable? .. Out of a sense of duty?
If you are afraid to refuse for fear of offending, most likely you will remain offended. When you say “yes” out of fear of missing out on opportunities, you are doing it to the detriment of your interests, which means you are really missing out on something valuable in exchange for dubious expectations. And finally, the most important duty of a person to himself is to be happy, following his own way. life path to do what his heart tells him to do. Happy people make others happy without any effort and are little upset by the occasional ingratitude of others. A mature person understands that she is not responsible for someone's emotions, but others are not responsible for what the person himself feels. He is free to act according to his values and moral principles and evaluate his own behavior, while giving the same right to others. Rather, it does not give, but does not deny such their right. Therefore, he does what his soul lies to, and first of all he sees joy from the fact that he does not betray himself, his principles. Perhaps someone will find this approach strange, but if you think about it, it is the most rational, adequate. When you do a good deed, do it for the sake of the good itself. When bringing happiness into the life of another person, do it for the sake of the person himself, and not for his response. Because the biggest reward is a feeling of satisfaction with oneself, with one's actions. Being the masters and smiths of our own happiness, we gain calm self-confidence, increase self-esteem, feel self-respect and believe in our success in the future.
Otherwise, we are talking about children's behavior dependent on parents, elders, someone who is more important than himself in his own life, guides his choice of decision, and, therefore, there is no and cannot be peace in the soul and confidence in the future, there are always doubts and hesitation, but whether he did the right thing. After all, his happiness depends on anyone, but not on the person himself.
The habit of responding with resentment to what we do not like is formed, as a rule, in early childhood, when the child cannot, for one reason or another, directly state his needs, or satisfy them himself. And the only thing left for him to influence adults is to be offended. In response to the insult, adults (most often parents) give a positive reaction of “care”. Subsequently, such behavior becomes a stereotypical form of emotional response to life's difficulties and appears even when there is no opportunity to receive this care from anyone and is not expected.
If you suddenly turned out to be the offender and want to resolve the conflict, ask what exactly they want from you and For what.
In order to prevent resentment on your part, tell about your desires. People can't read other people's minds. It is quite possible that the one to whom you turn with a request will be happy to satisfy it.
In the event that the offense has already been inflicted, it is necessary to find out which needs were not satisfied and how they can be satisfied differently. Not necessarily this person can help you with this, even if it is not in your power to satisfy them yourself. There is a way out, the main thing is to let go of resentment, get rid of negative emotions.
What needs to be done first? Write a letter to your abuser. No, it will not need to be handed over to the addressee. It is written to understand the situation and find solutions. You need to start with the words: “I will tell you now something that I have never said before”. The text of the letter must include the following four paragraphs:
- That's what you did to me;
- That's what I had to go through;
- That's how it affected my life;
- That's what I expect from you now.
The last point will tell you which needs you need to take care of first.
Until you let go of the past, get rid of resentment, you will not be able to live a full life in the present. If necessary, acknowledge that you experienced the loss, mourn it, forgive the person responsible for your loss, forgive yourself, make the decision to leave this experience behind and move on. Stick to your decision, even if you find it difficult to stick to it. Believe that the experience you experienced was necessary and, ultimately, will benefit you, make you stronger, wiser and more successful. There will come a time when your happiness will be greater than before from a sense of self-confidence, because you yourself are its creator.
4.8333333333333 Rating 4.83 (6 votes)
Who among us has not been offended in life? They criticized, did not appreciate, did not understand, did not hear ... And then there is an insult that sits in the heart like a splinter. How to get rid of it? How to forgive an offense? How to forget caustic words addressed to you? How to survive the betrayal of a friend? This article will teach you.
Resentment as a means of manipulation
Some psychologists say that resentment is a way to get what you want. This is especially true for close relatives. The wife, trying to teach a lesson to her late husband, pouts her lips and "takes a vow of silence." The husband accuses his wife of being unable to manage the household, hinting at constant meetings with girlfriends. Where do adults get such a need to offend a loved one for personal purposes?
Psychologists say that all this comes from childhood. A child who likes a toy cries and begs for it from their parents. The little manipulator knows it's bad. Parents also know this, but they still buy the 25th doll or car. It is impossible to look at the tears of your baby without pity. We often use this method of manipulating others later in life. adult life. True, he works more often with close relationships.
Why does a person offend another?
What is the main reason why one individual offends another? We are often offended and do not think about it at all. But humiliation and verbal insults against us are often a disguised compliment from our opponents.
Envy, unfortunately, is inherent in so many people. Not many will praise a person who has achieved any heights. But there will always be those who will scold him and blaspheme. By doing his vile deed against us, the offender gains a sense of his own importance. He "grows" in his own eyes. Moreover, the more his words affect us, the more joy and satisfaction it will bring to him. So why indulge him? Let's smile back at him and say nice words. We are concerned about the question of how to forgive an offense? Sometimes, in order to do this, it is enough to understand why we are humiliated and insulted.
Consequences of resentment
Perhaps many people find it difficult at times to forgive their enemies. Many people think: “Why should I forget the offense? My enemy will be happy if he does not suffer the deserved punishment for this. Learning to forgive is necessary for oneself, to preserve one's health. To understand this, just look at the following list of potential problems that can arise if you constantly replay an unpleasant situation in your head:
Decreased immunity;
thyroid problems;
Depression;
Diseases of the cardiovascular system;
Oncology;
Mental disorders;
Migraines, headaches.
At first glance, the connection between the occurrence of these ailments and the mood of a person seems unrealistic. But it is worth imagining what is happening inside the offended person in order to understand this. For example, a person was rude on the bus, fired from work for no reason, insulted ... What do most of us do in this case? Some are taken to take revenge, someone - to drink "bitter", someone becomes isolated in himself. But many of us will swallow the hurt and move on with our lives. Only here is the insult, the tension from it has not gone away. Negativity accumulates in our body. This will continue until negative energy won't find a way out. And the way out here can be severe depression, and breakdown, and the most difficult disease, and so on. So why accumulate resentment in yourself? We need to learn how to neutralize them. How to forgive an offense and let it go will be discussed later.
How to remain calm in response to criticism?
A person sometimes with indignation perceives teachings from another person. And what can we say about the offensive words that he hears from others? Remaining calm in response to criticism is often very difficult. Of course, it is good to remain cool and unflappable in any situation. But how to curb your emotions when necessary? There are a few tips to help you do this:
Don't answer the offender right away. In anger, you can say a lot of things that you will later regret.
And then the question of how to save the situation, and not how to forgive insults, will come to the fore for you. The past cannot be returned. An unpleasant aftertaste from a quarrel will remain not only with your opponent, but also with you. Cool down and analyze the opponent's words. And only then parry.
Deceive the offender in his expectations. Konstantin Kushner, a Russian historian and educator, said: "If you are offended, the enemy has succeeded." Know that the main goal of the opponent is to hurt you to the quick. So why should he give this pleasure? Smile and forgive him.
During an argument, ask the abuser, "What can I do to make things right?" Is he confused and unable to answer? So he has personal reasons to talk bad about you. Such criticism cannot be fair.
The genius Erian Schultz said: “To be offended by bad words addressed to you is to agree with them.” This simple phrase explains everything. Do you consider yourself to be what your enemies are trying to make you look like? Of course not. But there is no point in proving them otherwise. It is better to step aside, leaving their words unheeded.
Do you want to know how to learn to forgive insults? Justify your opponents. Try to put yourself in their place and understand why they do it. Everything is simpler than it seems at first glance. Nature created one so angry, the second was offended today, and he shouted at you in the heat of the moment, the third has an unlucky day today, everything falls out of his hands, and he decided to “send everything to hell”, having quarreled with everyone, including you . Justified? Has it become easier? All that remained in my heart was pity for these poor fellows.
Live in the present. You need to forgive the offense in time, let go of the past and continue to go on your way. Focusing on quarrels with others will not lead to good.
The main thing is the inner core!
Only strong-willed people can remain calm in response to criticism and not be offended by insults and slander. Often we worry about the bad things we hear about ourselves. It doesn't matter if they said them to our eyes or behind our backs. But if we know that we have done nothing wrong, then why are we worried? The main thing is the confidence that we are right, that we are doing the right thing, that the truth is on our side. This conviction gives us calmness, firmness, determination. The inner core will not allow us to bend before offensive insults and slander. And we will not have questions about how to forgive an offense and let go of the past, how to forget insults addressed to us, how to improve relations after a quarrel.
Exercise number 1 - revenge on the offender
Learning to forgive is not easy. Getting over yourself is sometimes difficult. Special exercises will help to do this, for example, such as "imaginary revenge on the offender." It consists in the following:
Exercise number 2 - forgiveness
Psychologists say that thoughts and words are material. By managing them, you can easily change your life as in positive side, as well as negative. And if positive thoughts and words carry a creative energy, then negative ones produce a destructive effect. This knowledge will help us answer the main question that concerns us: "How to forgive an offense, finding peace and joy?" Fulfill this exercise recommended for 5-15 minutes a day. It is best to do this with a partner, but you can do it alone. It consists in the following:
- Take a comfortable position.
- Loudly and emotionally repeat several times, mentally addressing your offender: “You are good, cheerful, kind ... I forgive you for the fact that ...”.
- After releasing the resentment, tell yourself this: "I forgive myself for ...".
Three ways not to be offended
- Only truly strong and great people have self-control. Anyone can be offended, but only a select few can forgive. No wonder Socrates said: "To be offended is beneath the dignity of a person." And why are we worse than a great philosopher? Let's learn to forgive.
- Let's replace resentment with pity. For example, our soulmate spoke sharply about some of our personal qualities: the husband said that his wife was a bad cook, the wife "broke her husband's brain" about small earnings, and so on. Now we are overwhelmed by the thought of how to forgive an offense to a loved one. Let's just take pity on the poor guy. After all, a person offends when he is in a state of anger, frustration or a bad mood. And all this adversely affects his health. It's already not easy for the offender.
- You can try to find out why people offend us. A heart-to-heart conversation will help resolve an unpleasant situation.
The main thing is not to keep
Not everyone understands why we should learn how to forget the offense and forgive. But, as we have already found out, experiencing negative emotions is unhealthy. And resentment, anger, grief - these are perhaps the most negatively colored feelings. In our civilized society, it is not customary to openly express your emotions, especially negative ones. Therefore, many people, swallowing resentment, try to pretend that nothing happened. But experiences do not give them rest. Over time, the unpleasant situation is erased from memory, but the sediment on the soul from it still remains.
What to do in this case? release on time negative emotions outside so that they do not have time to harm our physical and mental health. You need to do this when you are at home alone. Otherwise, you can unpleasantly shock your household. You can break several plates on the floor, knock your fists on the pillow, imagining your offender in its place. You can just scream loudly at home when you are alone. It takes only a few minutes. But you will see how easy it will be for you after that. The world will no longer seem so dark and cruel, the offender - rude and heartless, and those around you - indifferent and ruthless.
Religion for Forgiveness
There are words in the Bible about loving your enemies and thanking them for the evil deeds they do. Christian preachers teach that the one who strikes on the cheek should offer the other cheek for the blow, and the one who takes away outerwear, give away the shirt. At first glance it seems that these sayings are reckless. How can one not resist blows and thank one's enemies for beatings? But it seems nonsense only at first glance. It is important for a person to learn to forgive others in order to preserve their own health. An offended, upset, angry person is in a state of tension, constantly scrolling through the details of a quarrel and possible ways revenge. Negative thoughts deprive him of the joy of being. Having forgiven his offenders, he finds peace and tranquility. No more pain and suffering. You can move on and do good deeds. Life is already too short to waste it on such trifles as scandals and quarrels.
Why think about how to forgive an offense? Mother and father should not be offended at all. These are the people whose love for children is immeasurable. As for the enemies, here many people may have such questions: “Why should I forgive my enemy? Why do him good? Because he doesn't deserve it." There is a wonderful passage in the Bible that says, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, then give him a drink: for by doing this you are heaping burning coals on his head.” These words have deep meaning. You cannot defeat evil with evil. Bad things can only be eradicated with good. And then, how to know, maybe your worst enemy will be yours best friend. No wonder they say: "From hate to love - only one step." The Bible will tell you the answer to the question of how to learn to forgive offenses. Try to be a true Christian and follow all the commandments set forth in it. Then in your life there will be no place for resentment, hatred, revenge.
Prayer for forgiveness of enemies
When it becomes especially difficult for us, we turn to God for help. And it is not at all necessary to know certain prayers here. You can express in your own words what lies like a stone on our soul, and ask the Almighty for salvation. The answer to the question of how to forgive and let go is clear. We need to open and read the Bible more often, follow the commandments given in it. The Lord teaches us that we need to love our neighbor as ourselves, no matter what, that we should forgive our enemies, no matter what offense they inflict on us. This is necessary, first of all, to the most offended.
And a prayer with which you can turn to God can be like this:
“Lord, our father, I ask you, give me the strength to forgive the people who offended me. You, the Merciful, taught us: “Love your enemies. Bless all who curse you. Do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend and persecute you." Give me the strength of my soul to forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Help me to reconcile with those who offended me in my soul. Let me find the joy of forgiveness."
You need to repeat this every day. And then you will no longer have questions about how to forgive the offense. Prayer saves from empty experiences and anxiety.
How to forgive a loved one and let go?
How many tears are shed when love leaves! It is very difficult after this to forget the betrayal of the second half and start life anew. It is especially hard for women in such situations.
These tips will teach them how to forgive a man for an offense, let him go and start life from scratch:
Give him all his things, remove all joint photos so that nothing reminds you of him;
Take a two-week vacation and fly to warm countries to relax;
Try not to isolate yourself, go to the cinema, cafes, clubs, somewhere where there are a lot of people, where life is in full swing;
Call for help best friend, speak out to her, cry, you will immediately feel better;
Write on a piece of paper all the shortcomings of your former lover, remembering all the bad things that are associated with him, tear the piece of paper and mentally say goodbye to this "scoundrel".
Aphorisms of famous people about forgiveness
To be offended is common to all people. It is curious what famous people say about this negative feeling.
Oscar Wilde: The best way piss off your enemies - forgive them.
Thomas Sas: Stupid man He neither forgets nor forgives, the naive both forgets and forgives, the intelligent forgives but does not forget.
William Blake: "It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend."
Johann Schiller: "Forgiveness is stronger than all victories."
Gilbert Chesterton: "A haughty apology is another insult."
Henri de Monterlant: “There are people to whom we forgive everything, and there are people to whom we do not forgive anything. Those to whom we do not forgive anything are our friends.”
Jean Paul: "A person is beautiful when he forgives himself or asks for forgiveness from another."
George Halifax: "Conscience and memory always diverge as to whether wrongs should be forgiven."
We found out the reasons why some people try to humiliate and insult others, and also looked at several ways to forgive an insult.
Resentment is anger suppressed for a long time (L. Hay).
It turns out that it is very difficult to completely let go of resentment and forgive a person, but this must be done so as not to attract various diseases into your life. Yes it is! the main problem that resentment lurks for a long time in a certain corner of our body, and when it is not released, it turns into terrible ailments, for example, malignant tumors that promise death to a person.
How to learn to forgive?
To learn how to let go of resentment, you need to understand a simple truth - no one comes into life by chance and nothing happens just like that. If the act of another person caused a feeling of resentment, ardent anger, then you need not turn your back and not talk to the offender for weeks, but analyze the situation, find not only bad, but also good in it.
Forgiving and letting go of grievances is sometimes very difficult, this problem is rooted in deep childhood. Many people grew up in families where it was forbidden to openly declare their intentions and show negative emotions. Women were told that this was indecent, so some persons learned to hide their past grievances far and hide their true feelings. But if this is not changed, irreparable grief can occur.
The main recipe for forgiveness is the ability to focus on the positives and take 100% responsibility for your life. Whatever happens, we ourselves attract this situation into our lives, and therefore it is time to take a fresh look around and radically change our perception, internal state and attitude towards the world.
Resentment and health are one!
One of the reasons for the development of cysts and tumors in the uterus is considered to be the syndrome: "He hurt me." After all, the genitals of men are responsible for the masculine, and women - for the feminine. When people have very strong emotional discontent, conflicts with a partner, they move to the area where the human genital organs are located. That is why the hidden grievances of the past associated with a divorce or a husband's betrayal can turn into a malignant tumor or develop into a cyst.
