What's wrong with having a female leader? Love affair at work. If the boss is a woman
Continuation. Beginning in the previous issue.
We talked about the behavior of male leaders.
Today clinical psychologist Elena Olegovna Kharitontseva(Moscow) talks about how to behave as subordinates if they are led by a woman.
As a rule, a woman leader combines femininity and efficiency - these qualities are necessary for her in order to protect herself and prove that she can occupy leadership position.
Characteristics of a female leader
1. Emotionality
In relationships with subordinates, women leaders behave more emotionally than men, but women are more cautious: they tend to make only informed decisions and are not ready to take risks. For subordinates, the emotionality of a leader can be both positive and negative. negative side. In the case of a positive assessment of the work of an employee, a female leader will express bright approval, but in case of dissatisfaction with a subordinate, a woman may experience emotional outbursts up to anger. Then, having calmed down, the female leader will understand that she reacted to the situation too emotionally, but for the delinquent employee, such a reaction can be offensive and unfair. Such cases are especially noticeable in small groups (up to 25 people) - pharmacies, private clinics.
2. Voice communication
Women have a better developed center of speech, so they are more talkative, better perceive information by ear, easily switch from one task to another and can work simultaneously with a large amount of information. Women are more successful in everyday tasks, when you need to do something carefully and systematically.
3. Intuition
Women have a well-developed intuition. Thanks to this, they better read and analyze sensory information: intonations and facial expressions of the interlocutor, emotional background communication, the psychological climate in the team. This can happen consciously or unconsciously, but it always affects the relationship between the leader and the subordinate. As a rule, women are characterized by a more diplomatic style of leadership and communication with employees, a more flexible approach to subordinates. For a woman leader, it is very important to create a favorable psychological climate in the team.
4. Employee motivation
A female manager is more focused on increasing the motivation and self-esteem of employees. Often, she uses for this not only encouragement, but also personal conversations - in this case, “excesses” are possible in the direction of instructions and teachings, which can cause a negative reaction from subordinates. But it's important to understand that main goal female leader is always a joint work and cooperation of all members of the workforce. However, in complex or crisis situations a woman, as a rule, tries to highly motivate her subordinates and thereby ensure a way out of the situation. Women are less likely to use large one-time bonuses to encourage employees - they prefer to encourage little by little, but regularly or upon reaching a certain result.
5. Constant control
Women leaders are characterized by fairly strict control in the performance of certain tasks. Women are more cautious, they tend to play it safe, so they try to control the activities of their subordinates at every stage, without waiting for the final result. If it is necessary to punish an employee, a female leader is more flexible than a man. Initially, it can be just a personal conversation: she can listen to a subordinate, step in and give him a chance to correct the situation, and not fire him right away.
6. Caution
Women leaders are more careful in making decisions, and in a situation of acute stress, they act step by step, do not want to take risks and carefully consider everything. possible consequences their actions. A woman reads the reaction of employees well, therefore, in a stressful situation, a team led by a woman is psychologically easier to experience emerging problems. In conditions of risk, a woman also behaves very carefully, so she never makes drastic changes. This has a positive effect on the life of the team during the period of reorganization or in conditions of uncertainty, because employees feel safe and confident in the future.
7. Creative approach
In the process of work, a woman shows creativity: it seeks to use certain qualities of employees in different ways and due to this it achieves excellent results in solving assigned tasks. The strength of a woman is in communication, therefore in professions related to communication with people (for example, in medicine), women leaders are especially successful.
8. Conflict management
If in a team led by a woman, a protracted conflict arises between employees that negatively affects the work process, a woman leader never leaves this unattended. She will definitely listen to all the conflicting parties, find out the cause of the conflict and carefully analyze the current situation. On the one hand, such an approach can give the conflicting parties a message for reconciliation and thus help resolve the conflict situation. But, on the other hand, if the conflict requires clear and sharp steps from the leader that will block the conflict situation and prevent it from flaring up further, a woman is far from always ready to make such a clear decision. At the same time, unlike a man, a woman for permission conflict situation can safely use the help of third-party specialists.
9. Ability to solve several problems at the same time
A woman is more dynamic, she can solve several tasks at the same time and easily switch from one social role on the other: in the morning she is a wife and mother, in the afternoon she is a director, in the evening she is again a housewife. But this feature also has disadvantages: if a woman leader is not all right in her personal life, this can negatively affect her relationship with her subordinates, because, unlike a man, a woman will not be able to distract herself from her personal problems at work and will constantly be in nervous excitement.
1. It is very important for a woman leader appearance employees, and this always affects her relationship with subordinates. You should not dress too brightly or smartly, but you need to look neat and businesslike: clean, tidy shoes, a fresh shirt, etc.
2. A woman leader should be consulted more often - this allows her to be aware of what is happening. Even if she completely trusts the employee, this way of interaction will be close and understandable to her. For this reason, many women leaders like to call subordinates themselves and find out step by step what has already been done.
3. Communication with a female leader should take place without irony or condescension. This is especially important if the subordinates are men. We must not forget that if a woman occupies a leadership position, this means that she has a certain amount of competencies and professional experience, thanks to which she was appointed to a leadership position. Irony on the part of subordinates can lead to big trouble, especially if the woman is dominant in character.
The boss is watching you closely. He looks inquisitively into his eyes and sighs languidly. Sometimes he says how lonely he is and that he married the wrong woman. You are the ideal for him, you are the most beautiful. He is waiting for your consent. And among the female team, the boss singles her out. Sometimes overly praising, or scolding. The most unpleasant and, unfortunately, the most common is the situation when a person seeks to satisfy his needs at the expense of others. He just wants you to notice him, to be close to him...
Affectionate treatment, minimum work. “I want you to always smile” - a phrase with an affectionate smile ... And soon a simple proposal ...
An inexperienced woman may find herself in such a position for the first time ... At first she tries like this: “I think you should not cross the line“ boss - subordinate ”! ..” To which they answered me in surprise: “Who sets the boundaries and boundaries?”.
Having made his choice, the male boss, as a logical being, and therefore consistent in his thoughts and actions, expects a response from his chosen one (secretary). That is, conscientious work: the ability to serve the chef and his guests (tea, coffee, juices, water), competently maintain document management, call up the right people. At the same time, always be charming, ready for any instructions from the boss, obligatory, trouble-free.
And when the boss offers sex to his employee, he does it to raise his own self-esteem. The woman in this case is just another means for his self-affirmation. Therefore, if a girl is smart and does not want sex with her boss, she can always turn the arrows of the situation in a different direction.
Some women are seduced by love with a man who is high in the ranks. It's flattering. It's so exciting - sighs, flowers, hugs.
And words of love can break anyone's heart. These three words can stir up life, turn it in a different direction. And in the future, maybe a wedding, coffee in bed, cute kids.
But everything is different. It often happens that for the impulse and incontinence of women they pay with dismissal from work. Disliked. I don’t want to hear gossip behind my back from employees, and is it necessary to twist love in the service? If once a girl sleeps with her boss for the sake of official gain, then she will have to do it all the time, even because of some little thing. And in general, this situation will interfere with further work and may lead to a quarrel with those who more deserved this promotion.
Flirting does not necessarily have to lead to a serious denouement. Temporary privileges do not compensate for subsequent consequences. When a new "favorite" appears, the employee will feel the charm of the annoyance of the "boss" and other employees in full. Usually such "employees" then have one way out - dismissal.
Well, what can you take from these stupid women who want tenderness and love! And the boss - is he not a man or what? That's what it is - a man. So, it has full right to the left. And with the ladies subordinate to him, to carry out this pleasant right in all respects, well, God himself simply ordered!
Male bosses disguise their first love impulses as gallant courtship. And women have to endure all these "courtships", especially if they come from the boss. After all, here you have to choose between work, salary, career and the prospect of losing all this. After all, the boss will always find a reason not to pay, to fire a stubborn lady who did not reciprocate. But the opportunity to put the boss- "boyfriend" in place is much more difficult to find.
If the boss harasses at work, then in the Western world they have long learned to deal with this problem: the charters of many European companies have developed a list of unacceptable actions in the service. In it - a ban on ambiguous jokes, hints, spanking. And talking to an employee in a closed office - oh horror! Through the efforts of Western feminists, the list is getting longer - phrases like: "You look great today", "Let me help you take off your coat", etc. have already been added to it. As a result of these systematic efforts, not only bosses, but also ordinary employees began to simply shy away from their ladies colleagues.
“Men are to blame for everything. He sits in his chair and sniffs and dreams. He doesn’t know how to lure a girl, so they offer, the bosses of the increase, who are just money. And then you complain that the employees are corrupt. Everyone quickly gets used to easy money, ”some women argue about the case when they gave in to their boss. Then love with the boss resembles the mutual use of each other. This is the same relationship as a one-night stand, only you don’t have to look for anyone and you don’t have to go far. The boss takes a break from the family (if any), relieves stress. The subordinate rises in her own eyes, because if she sleeps with her boss, then many roads are open to her and she has big weight in the company, since the boss is unlikely to let her offend.
Figure out what you want. Man or leader. Miscellaneous concepts in this present day. Many men not only look at the person of the boss himself, but dream of being in the arms of this strong, attractive, gallant and lucky man, who singled him out among everyone!
If a man is serious about you, but he has personal sympathy, he will never allow a romance to develop in front of employees, compromising a woman. He will forget that he is the boss, he will be just a devoted man to his beloved woman.
If mutual sympathy with a colleague (or colleague) has already been established and is not a secret to anyone, it is best to agree that at work you will only deal with your official duties. Of course, smiles, warm looks and mutual assistance are not necessary, and it is simply impossible to refuse each other, but everything that goes beyond these limits should be taken out of the workplace and time.
But most often it is important for a woman to remember that a career is made all her life, and it can collapse due to stupidity in an instant. When a woman is a professional, she is a professional. The less compromising evidence - the cleaner and simpler the relationship between people. The boss has no moral authority over you, there are only official assignments. So, it is simply necessary not to mix personal relationships at work. It is important to remember that there are ideal bosses, but only for a certain time period. Over time, tasks change, and hence the requirements of managers for employees. And not all subordinates are ready to accept the new conditions and comply with them. This means that the boss has already ceased to be ideal for subordinates. If you are applying for a position, then adequately correspond to it.
You got a job in an office. It has a friendly team.
There is beautiful office furniture at a good price. You have an excellent salary. It would seem that everything is perfect. However, an interesting nuance may turn out here: your leader may well be a woman.
In fact, women leaders are no longer surprising. In Russia, almost a third of enterprises are run by women. However, stereotypes play a role. Many men feel uncomfortable when they are led by a woman.
How to build relationships
Business relations with the boss in a skirt should be built in a special way. Otherwise, they may just end up in a dead end. It must be understood that the female managerial style has its own characteristics.
First of all, it concerns the relationship "boss-subordinate". Most women want to build trusting relationships with the team. Often this confuses male subordinates, as they are used to a strict office hierarchy.
According to statistics, women leaders make more plans for the future, work for the future. However, they often do not look at this or that problem on a large scale, while men can see the possible consequences of making any decision.
Ambition in women, as a rule, is not as high as in men. Due to this, it is easier to negotiate with a woman boss. However, women are very emotional. They can tell the employee everything they think about him.
How to fit in
How to adapt to such an unpredictable boss? First, establish yourself as a responsible employee. In addition, you can give the female leader small signs of attention. She can open the door, move the chair, etc. However, it is very important not to cross the fine line. In no case should a female boss think that your behavior is not just a tribute good upbringing but signs of personal sympathy.
women love confident men able to defend their point of view. Don't be afraid to stand your ground if you're sure you're right. However, always argue your point of view.
There is an opinion among the people, both among women and men, that it is not easy to work when woman as leader. Of course, in this case, we are not talking about the fact that a woman is not smart enough to be a politician or strategist. But the leader is primarily determined by gender, and goes into the background business qualities.
Why does it happen this way? The task of the manager is to create a team, coordinate and plan the actions of workers, control the execution of their orders. Being a professional is not enough, here you need to have such a quality as “leadership”. In order for subordinates to recognize the authority of the leader in the boss, it is necessary:
Be shrewd and look to the future;
Be able to take the initiative;
Earn the title of arbiter in interpersonal views;
Make decisions without fear of taking risks.
Usually a woman is credited with an image of a mysterious, passive, soft, which is not at all combined with the qualities listed above. A perfect example of what has been said is the “candy-bouquet” period between a woman and a man. Conquering a woman, a man goes on a roll, assertive, enterprising. The quality of a leader, a conqueror in premarital relationships, extends to relationships in the service.
Classification of women leaders.
"Man in a Skirt". A woman leader has a weak emotional sphere, therefore, in order to compensate for this, they behave more harshly, in relations with subordinates they emphasize their authoritarianism.
Having such a leader, you will not envy your subordinates. By production life woman head leads with an iron hand in "hedgehog gloves". The exchange of opinions and free thinking are radically excluded. In such a team, the worst sides of the human character are manifested - sycophancy and squabbling. As a rule, workers with insufficient qualifications cooperate with a “man in a skirt”, since professionals have nothing to do next to such a boss. But if it so happened that you had to work under the guidance of a “man in a skirt”, you need to remember that: any service mistake can cause stress for the boss. Therefore, your task is to try to make a dialogue out of the scandal, preferably a constructive one. The ability to remain silent and the gift of persuasion is here, whenever you may need it.
"Good Mom"- a woman as a leader looks like the exact opposite of the above characteristics. Work is based on emotions. The main working tool is personal charm, the style of address is politeness and friendliness. Sooner or later, chaos reigns in the team headed by the “Kind Mom”, as the authorities are super-liberal. Ignoring the opinion of a neighbor, everyone expresses their views. But there is no one to choose the only correct point of view.
If you work under the guidance of a “good mother” and have categorically decided your work time devote to work, with problems, do not contact your partner, but contact her directly. Try to describe your proposal as emotionally as possible, without resorting to technical details and details. If she liked the way you spoke, then she will definitely delve into your proposal.
"Situational" a woman as a leader stands close to the previous type. “Everything for victory” is her slogan both in life and at work. Head woman of this type- enthusiast. She is the first to arrive and the last to leave. There is complete chaos on her desktop, all the papers are mixed up, nothing is in its place. With subordinates woman head"situational" kind of the same disorderly relationship. She may forget who is responsible for what, when the project needs to be prepared, etc. People who are accustomed to a slow and measured course of affairs - such work is a real punishment. However, if you know your job responsibilities well and can easily explain them to management, then everything does not look so bad.
Head woman in many ways superior to his male counterpart. She defends her opinion and the interests of the team with firmness, during negotiations it is easier to make concessions, the work of a subordinate pays more generously, without adventures and jumps, like her child, patiently “grows” her business. Therefore, a business led by a woman is stable. A woman as a leader is always clean and tidy, which helps once again not to listen to reproaches in her direction, with the help of spiritual grace she gives orders in such a manner that no one's pride is hurt.
It's done! You have been promoted, and now you will manage an entire department, department, or even a company! There is only one problem: there are now so many serious, professional, intelligent men who want to build a career in your subordination, and you are a woman. Yes, you are a pro in your field and a real leader, but managing men, and indeed any team, is so difficult: you are constantly being evaluated, considering all actions and words under a magnifying glass...
What is the difference between male and female approach to work? How to behave competently as a woman leader so that she is listened to and respected?
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus!
First you need to decide what is psychologically and, accordingly, emotionally women differ from men? What, in fact, are their features as leaders?
As is known, right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for abstract thinking and orientation in space, processes the information received in blocks: it combines facts and forms a concept, and from a number of concepts it forms a single whole - this male approach to the point. The left hemisphere, on which women are oriented, processes incoming information logically, step by step. It houses the centers of speech activity, reading, memory, logical thinking.
Women share key concepts: work for them is carried out "here and now", and a career is an exclusively personal goal.
"The most detailed psychology business woman was studied by American doctors Margaret Henning and Ann Jardin. A woman leader must constantly prove to herself and others that she is doing exactly her job. Approximately 1/3 of all nervous breakdowns in business ladies come from the clash of the roles of the boss at work and the performer at home, ”explains business coach Galina Sorokoumova.
In the desire to become a leader, a woman, as a rule, refuses to build a family for a while, gaining independence and stability. She has a more subtle social intelligence, sensitively perceives the nuances of relationships, including the attitude towards herself. Most experts believe that a woman leader is more practical, energetic, proactive, sociable and demanding, but inferior to a man in emotional restraint and making quick decisions.
The main thing is relationships!
Based on the research of Margaret Henning and Ann Jardin on the peculiarities of thinking of business women and women in leadership positions, some conclusions can be drawn.
Psychologist, business consultant Elena Grigoryeva says: “Women share key concepts: work for them is carried out“ here and now ”, and a career is an exclusively personal goal. Men, on the other hand, relate the work they do only to their ideas of a career.”
Also, women leaders distinguish between personal and professional problems, choosing one or another path in case of conflict. Men, on the other hand, view careers as essential constituent part own life. Managers of different genders understand risk differently: for men, it means loss or profit, while women evaluate it negatively - for them it is a loss, a danger. Ladies generally take everything very seriously, especially painfully reacting to criticism and personal insults. Most men do not care about building good relationships with colleagues: for them, the main thing is the profit and prosperity of the company. Women, on the other hand, care about maintaining good relationships, and in most cases this is an end in itself: they cannot work with people who are unpleasant to them or with whom they have a conflict.
Motivation professional activity women leaders also has its own characteristics. The most significant factors are material with a psychological connotation (they like to be financially independent), moral and ethical (thanks to their work they feel they are needed people) and compensatory (they do not feel lonely at work, they forget about home and personal troubles).
A group of Western European scientists collected data in more than ten countries, according to which the majority of men admit that, taking the place of a boss, women are less likely to “break down”, it is easier to resolve any issues with them, they are not so much dependent on mood and take better care of subordinates.
Women leaders are superior to men in motivation for achievement and desire for leadership. Their penchant for educational behavior allows them to activate the potential of those employees who, at first glance, cannot be valuable to the company. In general, men are more effective at solving tasks at the lowest level of management that require technical abilities, and women are more useful at establishing interpersonal relationships, in education, business, social and public service, at the middle level of management, where you need to establish interpersonal communications.
Male managers perceive their work as a series of cases or transactions with subordinates, with rewards for services rendered or punishment for poor performance. At the same time, they more often use the power that their position gives them. Women managers lead in such a way that subordinates transform their interests in accordance with the interests of the group, setting themselves broader goals. Women associate their power with personal qualities - charm, ability to communicate and work intensively, and not with their position. They unite employees, know how to inspire them, demonstrating admiration for even the smallest successes, and in addition, they are ready to non-standard solutions, personnel transformations and changes in management methods in critical situations.
How to manage?
Women, managing people, try to convince them that the goal is close and interesting, and to motivate them to achieve it. But the desire to pay great attention to communication, building friendly relations can play a cruel joke - it is easy to get confused in a variety of feelings and emotions. That is why it is important to be able to keep a distance between yourself and your subordinates.
A woman should learn to live in business not “here and now”, but to have an overview of the situation - to be able to see two steps ahead. Building relationships with male subordinates is sometimes difficult due to the fact that they are used to the “boss-subordinate” hierarchy, and women tend to manage in a partnership system. Men consider this a weakness and easily get out of control, so you should learn to discard personal attachments and act strictly according to the rules, not trying to build friendly relations with colleagues - this will go to the detriment.
Often in a team where a woman controls women, intrigues and intrigues begin. If subordinates, instead of working, discuss each other and make plans for survival, are divided into groups, then they are not loaded enough with work. There is only one advice for the manager: to clearly control the work process, to master the skill of time management. In order for the project to be delivered on time, it is necessary to set checkpoints and control the work of each employee at certain points. Or ask them to write daily/weekly progress reports.
“A woman cannot manage efficiently, being in a hierarchical system - this must be learned from psychologists, coaches and business coaches. But the role of a female leader will definitely grow every year, as the business structure is changing now, and more and more often subordinates are managed with the help of not power, but motivational tools, ”comments Galina Sorokoumova.
Women are focused on stability, and the nature of business requires a propensity for risk, innovation, the ability to make decisions quickly, and this is already the prerogative of men. There are two ways out: either develop these qualities in yourself, or look for a company where it is important to build and maintain the stability of the system.
As already noted, male subordinates are comfortable working in a hierarchically built pyramid. A woman in such a team should be able to defend her territory, defend her right to lead and express her own point of view. The most best position in such a situation: "adult - adult", when the game is on an equal footing. At the same time, a woman can use her inherent qualities in negotiations and communication: natural femininity, a sense of style, tact, intuition. But everything has to be within limits.
If a female leader with subordinates builds a “child-parent” system (constantly asks men for advice, shows feigned weakness), or “parent-child” (teaches, constantly says that she is the main one here, and all subordinate men are lower, less professional, smart, and so on), definitely nothing good will come of it. “A manager does not have to be a pro in every issue - for this he has subordinates, more professional - each in his own field. If advice is required, then she can ask him, - Elena Grigorieva explains. “But you should not ask, complaining about your weakness, not demand, referring to your leadership position, but give an order in an even tone. At the same time, you can say: “You are an excellent professional in your field, and right now I really need your help.”
There are no women with a masculine mindset!
It is believed that a female leader has a masculine mindset. “This is nothing more than another stereotype. There is no such phenomenon in nature, - Galina is convinced. “Proper management requires intelligence, life and professional experience, intuition, logic, leadership qualities, the ability to manage people, and all these qualities are inherent in both men and women.”
Any leader must learn to say "no" and make unpopular decisions: about reducing wages, dismissal / reduction of staff, etc.
Psychologists believe that subordinates expect a male leader to resolve issues, and then understand, and from a female leader, first understanding, and then a solution. That's why you have to be tolerant, but fair. If your subordinates are mostly male, use all the good things that nature has given you, but at the same time be firm in your position. When managing men, you should not use emotional methods, be calm in any situation. A female leader can be sociable, attentive, correct, but do not let this softness be used: subordinates must understand that you will ask them for results exactly on time.
