How to understand that you are making the right choice. Make a choice: why is it so difficult
"To take your place in life, you need to learn to choose." From the movie "Joke"
The day has ended when every Russian citizen could make his choice. Choosing your future life. Today we chose the future President of our country. In order to determine and correct make a choice we were given time. During this time, we have drowned in advertising and propaganda of ideas, views, programs, appeals of presidential candidates. Tired. But in general, we went to the elections with turnkey solution and returned home with a sense of accomplishment of civic duty.
Is there a person among us who regretted his choice tonight and realized that he was wrong? Or does it take time too?
In fact, my article is not about elections. Article about - how to make a choice. Elections on March 4, 2012 became just a relevant reason for writing an article.
Wikipedia deciphers the concept of "Choice" for us in terms of psychology and technology. In psychology, choice means having various options to exercise the will. And technical activity classifies Choice as the resolution of uncertainty in human activity in the face of a plurality of alternatives. What did we have more today: the availability of options or real possibility resolve uncertainty?
It seems to me that many of us made today's choice under pressure. Do you know the parable "Fish oil for dogs"?
“One person decided to give his Doberman cod liver oil: he was told that it was very useful for the dog. Every day he held the head of a struggling dog between his knees, forcibly opened his jaws and pushed the fat down his throat.
Once the dog escaped and spilled fat on the floor. Then, to the great surprise of the owner, he returned and began to lick the puddle. It turned out that he was opposed not to the fish oil itself, but to the way in which this oil was poured into him. I don't like the way they force us to make our choice today.
Each person in his life every second is faced with the need to make hundreds of decisions, sometimes not even realizing that he is making a choice at that very moment. Most often, choosing, a person is guided by the lesser of the evils. But when it becomes necessary to choose not from two options, but from three, five, ten possibilities, then very often a person gets into a dead end. The exit from which can take a long time. As a result, we end up with missed opportunities.
How to make your choice?
Are there special techniques and techniques that would help a person turn missed opportunities into real ones? Is there something that would help us not to suffer for years, choosing from several options?
What does choice mean to me
For me, the answer to this question is always a very simple action - a decision. A decision is something that can be done in just a few seconds, but after you thoroughly prepare for it.
I understand mine very well personal responsibility for your choice. If I trust the opinion and advice of other people, then I shift this responsibility onto the shoulders of advisers. That does not allow me to step on my own rake, which teaches me to live and choose. I don't want to let others make their own choices for me.
I should be interested in my decision. I must have the will to do right choice. That is, motivation.
I must have my own system of criteria for selection. Each of us has perfect tools that can help make a choice. These are our eyes, hearing, memory, smell, experience, intuition. Turn on and act.
I think the easiest choice to make is for people who have a rich imagination and the ability to think big. Since I have such talents in their infancy, I can assume that in a situation of choice, such people can project a picture of the “future” in their imagination.
A wonderful technique for making a decision
In difficult situations of choice, the “weights” technique helps me. I imagine the scales in my imagination, on each of which I “add” the advantages and disadvantages, pluses and minuses. I wait until the cup with virtues outweighs, and boldly choose it.
I learned to understand that whatever I choose - it is my choice, my way, my way. A little grandiloquent, but it's better to be enthusiastic about one of the options, and squeeze the best out of it, while doubting pessimists are tormented by thoughts about how many opportunities they have lost.
Even the wise King Solomon said: “Choice is not what we choose. Choice is what we give up. Every time you choose one thing, you give up everything else. Make it a rule to know what you're giving up. This will save you from useless throwing and unnecessary disappointments. Always remember this and your path will be pure and full of truth.”.
Although the same Solomon believed that there was no choice.
The consistency of our actions is what, year after year, gives us certain skills and confidence in the upcoming choice. Whether you choose randomly, or base your choice on your personality traits, or you have to make a choice based on some criteria, accept your Choice. Get it and go on an interesting journey. Try to extract all possible pleasures and valuable experiences. Find your place in the current event or make a different choice. Because you already know how to make a choice. Good luck to you!
I hope to see your opinions in the comments, dear readers. What do you use when you have to choose?
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comments 11
Remembering the good and bad examples from business, I came to the conclusion that the main thing is the optimal balance of the analytical preparation of the solution and its consistent implementation. The extremes - action people and computer people - are usually inefficient in the end.
Hello, Elena!
Your article helped me a lot when making difficult decision. I chose between three faculties at the university, and since I entered for the second time (after a year of study at another university, I realized that this was absolutely not for me), I was afraid to make a mistake.And now, when the choice has already been made, I again suffer. It seems to me that I have chosen the wrong direction, but nothing can be changed. I MYSELF chose where I study now, but I just can’t make this decision of my own ... I thought for a very long time, analyzed it, and I’m already so tired of it: no matter what I choose, it seems to me that it’s not what I needed. And the worst thing is that the whole fate depends on this decision. The feeling of regret corrodes ... I can not believe that until recently I could choose any path.
I chose the specialty that is closer to me ... But the faculty turned out to be not the best, they teach poorly there, they teach poorly, and in general it falls apart ... Maybe I should have gone to a good faculty with many years of tradition, and it doesn’t matter that the main subject is not so strong for me like. But I would be in a normal company. These thoughts haunt me.
Do you have any experience or advice?
The choice is small - not everyone hires pensioners ... A lot of young people ... And you twitch, as if under a current, and plus you think that in the end they will also hang you and pay for the goods ... Go to another region closer to the sea. life is not rubber and the minutes inexorably count down eternity... you will part with your granddaughter for a long time, again because of these minutes bringing eternity closer...??? How to choose the right solution here???????
Elena, I can't accept my choice. Six months ago I bought an apartment and the choice was between two apartments in a new building (in the same house). One corner apartment on the 12th floor, the other apartment on the 9th floor. The layouts are completely different, but the square is the same. Before buying, I weighed all the pros and cons. But at the time of purchase, the main criterion for me was that the corner apartment is on the 12th floor and I think that it will be blown through, but for some reason at that time I forgot that this apartment has a large loggia in all street walls, which will probably protect from cold, the loggia can be insulated. corner apartment has a great view of the whole city. At the time of purchase and now I am aware of all the disadvantages of the apartment, which is on the 9th floor and is ready to face them - this is a street wall in one of the rooms, the window overlooks neighbor house, it will be possible to look into the windows to the neighbors. Of the pluses, the windows of the apartment overlook two sides - one window to the neighboring house, the other two windows to the courtyard. It can be a dubious plus that the layout can be attributed to the type of undershirt. I can’t get rid of the thought that I was given the opportunity to live in an apartment with a gorgeous view of the city, for me it’s like living in a luxurious mansion, in which even door handles gold. I did not take advantage of this opportunity and chose ordinary apartment on the 9th floor. And this thought to me - an unrealized opportunity to kill, not a day goes by that I don't think about it. Help me deal with self-pity.
Hello Elena, please help with advice. I am a very indecisive person, I have been working in one place for many years, they seem to be talking about layoffs, but they don’t say anything specifically. At this job I feel free, but boring. There are days when I go to hard labor. The salary is satisfactory for now. Recently I was offered a new place, a new, other interesting job, but the salary is lower. And now I'm undecided, what to do? Jump? Will I regret it later? If I don't go, they'll cut it, and I'll lose everything. I've already broken my head, I can't sleep at night, help!
Human life is made up of big and small decisions. Every day we make choices about what time to get up, what to eat for breakfast, and what route to take to work. Even little things like this sometimes cause serious anxiety, not to mention something bigger: which university to go to, what job to get, whom to marry - or maybe get a divorce, quit and go in search of something better? The answer to such questions is often depression, a desire to trust chance or just leave everything as it is and go with the flow. After all, having done something, so often you have to repent of it later. But to repent of inaction is not less common. How to learn to make the right choice?
Insufficiency of information
One of the main obstacles that appears when you need to make a choice is the incompleteness of the information available. It is impossible to foresee all difficulties, prevent all problems, calculate all the details - simply because, alas, we are not given to see the future. On the other hand, each of the available options is at least a little, but a pig in a poke.
fatalism and knowledge
The consequences of our actions are difficult to predict, but this is no reason not to make a choice at all and surrender to the mercy of fate. To start, find out as much as you can about the choices. True, it is still impossible to find out absolutely everything about them and exclude chance from the most thoughtful plan. It remains only to come to terms with this and believe in yourself: no matter what you do, no matter what happens, you will cope with possible problems and take advantage. This thought reduces the internal tension: you no longer require yourself to make a choice completely unmistakably.
Decision-making methods
1. You can sit, lie down, walk down the street (as you prefer) and mentally weigh all the options. You can do the same on a piece of paper: describe each option, its advantages and disadvantages. For greater clarity, you can even draw a table, in the columns of which you list all the pros and cons of each option, and then calculate them - and, perhaps, with peace of mind, choose the option that has the most advantages. Just do not forget that their quantity does not always correspond to quality.
2. There is also a less rational way. Dry calculations of income and expenditure are meaningless if what is more important to you is what you will feel in a given situation. Then it is better to imagine each possible option in turn and experience it in your imagination. So you will know what your emotional reaction will be in this or that case, and whether you will like it.
3. Trust your intuition. Making a choice with its help is an invaluable talent: if it is possible to foresee accidents, then only with the help of such an irrational instinct. This does not mean that you need to choose at random, but if you feel that, contrary to all logic, something tells you a completely different decision, do not rush to dismiss it from your mind.
Some of them are more natural for you, some less: it depends on the mindset. It is more convenient and easier to use your own, native, but it is worth trying others and applying them in parallel: this way you can look at your problem with different sides and get a better picture.
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - do this or that, agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing the decision.
So how make the right decision and learn how to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision that you like.
Statistically 7 decisions out of 10 managers large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies that were in the top 500 20 years ago the best companies the world no longer exists.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision and start acting.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, and any number of attempts. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your solution.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? write out possible options consequences and make decisions based on that. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
And therefore...
3 - Define best result - What decision will move you the most forward? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content ordinary life. Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always go back to another solution. So hold on. Success loves the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what needs to be done.
All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious mind and go to sleep. Learn more about this technique in this video.
5 - Do something- to make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. It will give you the information you need practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
When in doubt or choosing from multiple options, just do something about each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask more successful person - Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and knows more than you. Look for successful people in your environment. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is you don't have to ask everyone. Listen only to those who really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience of overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Imagine being a super hero- Put yourself in the place of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what decision he would choose.
Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more solutions. Collect information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.
9 - Let your brain sort things out - modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.
Eat good expression The morning is wiser than the evening. So just disconnect from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more profitable for you.
That's all.
But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
And to make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions
In life, every person makes decisions. For some, this is easy, and someone thinks for a long time and can not make the right choice. This is due to not and . And in order to make your decisions easier for you, you need to learn to trust yourself and your intuition. You need to impress your mind with the following affirmations:
- Any decision I make is correct.
- I listen to my intuition and trust it.
- The higher mind, with the help of my desires, leads me on the right path.
Use these settings to tune in to the right solution. And after the choice is made, start acting without changing your intentions.
Naturally, in the process of active achievements, you can adjust your decision. Change the path to the goal, or look at it from other angles. Some say that you can refuse to choose altogether if you realize that this is not what you need. And there is nothing wrong with that. But such behavior is usually associated with the fact that a person makes a choice, and then retreats. And this is not correct.
I believe that if a person has received birth, he should stand for it. He can correct the path, goals, but not retreat.
Remember the basic rule that says: "It's better to do something than nothing."
Don't be afraid to make mistakes or do something wrong. In the red, you still will not stay, you will gain vast experience, which will definitely help you in the future.
And now about the technique that will help you make the right choice:
1.Relax.
The first thing you need to do is calm your mind and relax your body. To do this, turn off your phones, turn on calm music, close your eyes. And start relaxing. You can watch your breathing or use autogenic training formulas.
Dedicate enough time to relaxation, it is also desirable to calm your mind, turn off the thought flow.
Only after achieving and calmness of mind, proceed to the next step.
2. Imagine your choices
Visualize all options one by one possible solutions. That is, for example, you cannot decide what you want to do in life.
You have an idea to become a psychologist or a writer. Imagine first that you have become a psychologist. You have reached your goal. How do you feel? Do you like this life? Imagine everything in great detail, touching your whole life. What is it like to be a psychologist?
Then imagine that you are a writer. Again, do a detailed visualization.
3. Analyze the sensations and make a choice
After step 2, open your eyes and do a little analysis. Which path is closer to you? Where are more pleasant sensations? Where do you feel best? Where can you provide more benefit for yourself and all mankind? By answering these questions, you will make the right choice.
Sometimes a decision is hindered by a lack of faith in the achievability of the desired. For example, take again the desire to become a psychologist or a writer.
You know that you can become a psychologist, it's easier for you. But there is no strong attraction to this activity. You are closer to writing. But you don't believe it's possible. There are a lot of restrictions in my head, saying that:
All writers are poor.
You will never be published.
I have no money to print at my own expense.
And so on.
What to do in this situation?
Listen to yourself and choose what you like best. Or combine both activities to start with. At the same time, without forgetting about mental work ( positive thinking, visualization, pure thoughts) and trying to become a professional in their field.
That's all for today. I hope this article will help you make the right choice. Let me remind you once again that the most important thing is to trust yourself and God (the universe, the cosmos, the higher mind).
After the choice is made, start acting, improve your and
How to make the right choice according to Toychu
The ability to make decisions is important to train on trifles. For example, you are going to the city tomorrow, choose in advance what you will wear. And don't give up on your choice. We decided to go in this clothes, so go in it. Gathered in the store, be sure to make a shopping list and follow it. Buy only what you wrote down.
Once you learn how to make choices in small things, start making decisions in bigger things.
Root of indecision
Teutsch believes that the inability to make choices comes from childhood. At birth, certain patterns are created that affect us. Also, some patterns of response and behavior are transmitted through the genetic code.
The reason is that at an early age, our parents either scolded or approved us for certain (identical) actions, and we developed a fear of the consequences for our actions.
In order to change the pattern of indecisiveness, it is important to go into yourself and remember your childhood. Find reasons. And start correcting them.
For example, if in childhood you are used to doing nothing, and therefore you don’t want to make a choice, then catching yourself laziness and indecisiveness, tell yourself: “In fact, any choice I make is right, because if I act, I have a result.
3 steps to make the right choice
1. To begin with, it is important to sit down and think everything over. weigh everything possible consequences solutions, all pros and cons.
2. Make a clear final choice. And after that, start going to him, act in accordance with the decision.
3. Stand up for your choice.
Your subconscious mind and those around you will influence you to give up the decision. Don't listen to them. Go to the end. You've made a choice, now follow it. If you act, you will achieve results.
To make a choice with confidence, it is important to work on yourself, develop your self-esteem and success. Believe in your success and see it daily. Remember that whatever choice you make is the right one. The main thing is to follow it and don't give up!
Video for you:
Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of the psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate in life and choose, solve complex issues and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you deal with everything with the utmost accuracy.
Questions of choice confront us every day. It is especially difficult to make a choice if it can affect life scenario, change relationships with people. Favorite business or work for money? Mistress or wife? How to make a choice so as not to make a mistake? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you make a choice of any complexity.
This article is about those for whom making the right choice is an important and difficult matter. Read on if:
you are not accustomed to doing everything “bluff”, you need to find out all the details, figure it out, think it over, and then make a decision;
in the profession and other life issues, you act in detail, slowly;
if you need to make the right choice, ask respected people to help with advice;
it is important for you not to make a mistake - the decision must be made once and for all, not changed, it must be immediately correct, the best possible.
Interestingly, for some people, the choice is easy. Why? Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of the psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate in life and choose, solve complex issues and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you deal with everything with the utmost accuracy.
Making a choice is not a difficult task for everyone.
So, men and women who possess do not puzzle over how to make the right choice, which option will be the best and right, they think about how not to miscalculate. Being flexible physically and mentally, they, even choosing a job or relationship, a wife or a mistress, do it easily and quickly. They rely on rational judgments, instantly evaluate the benefits and benefits.
How to make the right choice if you are a perfectionist
But perfectionists from nature itself are men and women with. It is important for them that everything is done perfectly, correctly. It is better to spend more time to go through all the options, eliminate the wrong ones, and only then decide on a solution.
Turning to expert opinion
Due to their innate mental characteristics, it is difficult for them to make a choice. They are not leaders, their natural tasks are different - they have quality behind them, they are diligent and need to initiate the first step.
In childhood, being obedient children, they are waiting for advice, tips from their mother. As adults, the owners of the anal vector often continue to seek the opinion of an authoritative person who will help them decide and help them not to make a mistake, to make the right choice. Difficult, complex issues they discuss with those who command their respect. Who has experience. This helps to make the right choice when it comes to the professional field. But if the choice is about your personal life, then no one can know what is best for you!
Any advice will be based on the experience of the adviser, his values and preferences, but this will not necessarily be good for you, because you have your own values and your own preferences.
Therefore, it is extremely important for you to understand what you really want, then you can achieve it.
The pledge of the right choice. How to become the expert of your life
How to make the right choice if you, for example, choose a life partner? What to rely on? System-vector psychology provides indispensable knowledge here, helping to deeply understand the psyche - one's own and someone else's. Already at the first contact with a guy or a girl, you can easily find out what character traits a person has (loyal or fickle, kind or not very, emotional or restrained, what he will love and what to strive for, what is important to him and what is not very ), what life scenario awaits you in a couple, etc. And so on in everything. You will be able to make a choice of profession, place of work, negotiation tactics, methods of education, and anything - when you understand the human psyche, there are no unanswered questions for you. This is confirmed by numerous people who have been trained in system-vector psychology.
What prevents us from making a choice
In addition to the natural reluctance to make decisions, the owner of the anal vector can be interfered with by childhood psychotrauma, overstress, and resentment. Then:
he becomes pathologically indecisive;
fear of the future, fear of change only strengthens him in the decision not to change anything;
he cannot bring himself to act. Infinitely any important business.
As a result, he becomes unable to even choose between two toothbrushes in the store.
With the help of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, you can get rid of such a difficult condition. This is evidenced by the results of many people:
“At the sight of something unfinished, fear no longer arises, quite the contrary: pleasant sensations of what now needs to be completed, finished. And the moment of the beginning, the movement from a standstill is especially pleasant. And that's what made it so painful. There is a positive experience. Inside, there is already a feeling that I can achieve what I want. I started wanting more, dreaming more. There is confidence…”
The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»
