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I need it to be happy. How to be happy every day

19 745 1 Hello! In this article we will talk about how to become a happy person. And also about how a woman can become happy and loved, even if she is alone and has no one. Today you will get the best psychological advice on this issue.

Probably each of us dreams of waking up one morning and feeling maximum happiness and peace of mind. Happiness is a state of complete satisfaction with one's life. This is an entirely subjective characteristic.. Looking at a person from the outside, we can only guess whether he is happy. Only he himself feels it.

The feeling of happiness never directly depends on status, financial capabilities, social environment, etc. Often people with material wealth, many friends and a good family feel unhappy. And sometimes a person who is not particularly wealthy, with a difficult fate, can experience real happiness. Here everything completely depends on ourselves.

What influences the feeling of happiness

• Values. Each of us has a certain set of significant values ​​( “to love and be loved”, “family”, “ interesting job", "freedom", "constant development" etc.), and if they are present in our life, then the feeling of happiness does not leave us.
• Achieving your goals. Some people prefer simple and fast achievable goals, for others - ambitious and requiring great effort. But one way or another, the main criterion of happiness here is the result obtained.
• Satisfying needs. The key is to satisfy precisely those needs that a person puts at the forefront. You can be a hungry artist, but if the most important thing for him is recognition or self-expression and this is realized, then he is likely to experience happiness. But if the most significant needs regularly remain unsatisfied, then the person is unhappy.
• . If we are satisfied with ourselves and adequately evaluate ourselves, then we become more confident and feel inner harmony. If we are not at peace with ourselves, we are constantly engaged in self-digging, then we cannot feel completely happy.
• Health. Health problems always affect the feeling of happiness to a greater or lesser extent. Therefore, it is important to be attentive to your condition in order to be able to prevent serious violations in time.

What prevents you from being happy

Unfortunately (or fortunately, excuse the tautology), our own attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts almost always prevent us from being happy.

• Creating obstacles. Quite often, we ourselves come up with various difficulties and obstacles on the path to happiness, believing that it does not come easy and we have to pay for everything. It seems that true happiness must be suffered and won... But paradoxically, while we are struggling with imaginary barriers and obstacles, it goes away and we don’t notice it. We don't allow ourselves to be happy. .
• The weight of the past. Being happy is often hindered by negative events that have ever happened to us. The experiences associated with them constantly return us to that time, and we become fixated on the problems of the past.

1. Turn around. It simply cannot be that nothing brings joy and at least for a moment is not a reason for happiness. It consists of little things. You were given a compliment, you successfully completed an important task, your baby smiled at you, you attended an interesting event... Every day we are faced with many reasons to be happy. Our task is to notice them and rejoice.

Listening to the singing of birds, the rustling of grass in the wind and leaves underfoot are useful actions for inner peace and establishing a connection with the world. Enjoy the simplest things. They charge you with positive energy and allow you to be distracted from bad thoughts and feel happier.

1. Break the vicious circle.

For example, we may feel sad about not achieving what we want. And we don’t achieve it because we sit and don’t take any action (or act in the wrong way), because all our thoughts are occupied with unnecessary worries and looking for someone to blame. And it often seems that this circle cannot be broken. We are all waiting for circumstances to change dramatically or for some great luck to fall on us. The likelihood of this happening is low. And the only way out is in ourselves. You need to break the circle by stopping worrying and starting to act. Any steps and attempts to change the situation or attitude towards life will bring you closer to happiness.

1. Get carried away.

You should definitely have something you love – something that inspires and energizes you. Creative activities and sports allow you to express yourself and cope with stress. But this can be more than just a hobby. For example, realizing oneself as a mother, a caring wife, and doing household chores also allows one to feel truly happy woman at any age: both at 20 and at 40 years old.

1. Rest and...

If you're exhausted and don't get enough sleep regularly, you're unlikely to feel completely happy. Healthy sleep not only helps to restore strength, but also to put thoughts and feelings in order.

1. Follow your goals and finish what you start.

The more completed tasks you have in your piggy bank, the freer and more harmonious you will feel. and do not give up on them when you encounter obstacles.

1. Bring happiness into another person's life.

The more often you do good deeds and please others, the happier you will become. The positive energy from your good deeds will definitely return to you. This is the pattern. Give gifts to others, say nice words, provide support, do charity work. The feeling that you are making a difference in the world helps you understand how to become happy.

1. Look at the future not with fear, but with hope.

Stick to the principle and constantly remind yourself: “ It's good now, but it will be even better" Make plans and look forward to their implementation. The more actively you can act and implement your plans, the more interesting the future will seem to you.

1. Have in your arsenal a list of life-affirming phrases that lift your spirits and make you feel happier. For example:
   “I am getting better and better at coping with difficulties”
   "I like myself"
   “There are many pleasant moments in my life,” etc.
2. Weigh your “I want” and “I’m afraid”.

It is most convenient to write them down on paper in 2 columns. Try to remember as many of your “I want” and “I’m afraid” as possible. It’s good if there are much more of the former than the latter. After all, the energy of desires always inspires us, makes us more confident, and the energy of fears slows down actions, forcing us to abandon our intentions.

How to become a happy wife

When creating a family, a woman always wants to become happy and loved. What helps to achieve this?

• It is important to remain feminine, affectionate and attractive. Let your men feel like reliable defenders and knights next to you. This powerful incentive to self-realization.
• Show care and attention towards your husband. Smile while waiting for him to return from work, ask how his day was, give him the opportunity to fully rest, please him with delicious food.
• Support a man's self-esteem: praise him, recognize his achievements and abilities.
• Don't be too demanding of your husband, don't control his every move. He needs to feel a certain degree of freedom and independence.
• Maintain comfort and order at home, keep it clean, create comfortable conditions for family life, take maximum care of the children. A man is always in a hurry to return to the warmth of his home.
• Give your love, strive for physical intimacy, trust and respect him.

How to become a happy mother

For most representatives of the fair sex, the question of how to become a happy woman is equated with the task of becoming a happy mother.

• Feel the joy from every contact with your child: when he smiles at you, when you feed him, when you sing a lullaby and watch him fall asleep, when you play with him and just communicate.
• Allow yourself to rest and do personal business, because your child needs a lot of your attention and care. You need to restore your strength and recharge with positive energy. Don't forget about full sleep and your hobbies.
• Love yourself and show your child confidence. This will allow you to be convinced that “I good mom and I do everything right."
• Be active and emotional while communicating and playing with your baby. The more pleasant emotions you experience with him, the higher your satisfaction with motherhood will be.
• Try to trust your child at any age, encourage his initiative and respect his personality. He feels it and will treat you the same.
• Rejoice in your child’s development, notice positive influence your educational influence.
• Be flexible when raising your baby, listen to his needs and mood.
• Attend cultural events with your children more often. Interest is guaranteed for both you and them.
• Children develop and change us better side. Be open to this experience. There really is a lot to learn from them.

We summarize all of the above in the following lines:

Happiness adorns our lives

Sow its seeds in your soul,

And hurry to give it to others.

All good things will return - believe it!

Video about how to become a happy woman.

1. Try to smile, laugh, laugh more, learn not to hold back positive emotions

Laughter - best medicine from all troubles. Sometimes laughter can take any serious and funny incident to a completely different level of perception. Self-irony is a powerful weapon and a great way to get out of conflict situations. Remember children, in many situations, having fallen into puddles, gotten dirty in the mud, even been hit hard, they find something funny, shake themselves off and continue to move forward.

Laughter helps overcome even physical pain, while tears and self-pity only make it worse. In the most heated debates, a good joke or a witty funny remark helps defuse the tense situation. According to statistics, Russia and Ukraine are considered to be among the unhappiest countries in the world.

But look at the facial expressions of our fellow citizens. How often on the street, in in public places and transport, in the service sector we encounter gloomy, dissatisfied people. Why do we have enough strength and energy to splash out negative emotions - the same rudeness, comments, dissatisfied statements - and not enough strength for basic politeness, a smile instead of a rude word, a humorous remark instead of a dissatisfied grumble.

After all, the result will be absolutely opposite. Good always attracts positivity, and negativity encourages even more. negative emotions. Even when fighting rudeness, happy people disarm their counterparts with a calm and positive reaction, something that the interlocutor does not expect from you.

If it’s difficult for you to start smiling in public places and on the street, start this activity at home, start the day by smiling at yourself, your family and friends. On the street, try to fill yourself with an inner smile, it will gradually turn into an outer one.

You won’t even notice how this will become a habit. Remember Little Raccoon's song - the smile always comes back. Happy people know how to notice funny things. If it's funny, don't hold back your emotions, laugh from your heart. Laugh until you cry, let yourself go. Laughter is a great source of endorphins.

2. Happy people walk with long strides and don’t hide their gaze.

Remember, psychologists have proven that successful people have a special gait. Success very closely accompanies harmony, inner peace and happiness of a person. A happy person does not slouch, he looks forward and maintains his posture, his head is slightly raised.

Confident and joyful people do not look at their feet, do not hustle or slouch, they look widely around and directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, so they notice a lot. And they walk with long strides. Try not to mince with a shallow gait, but to widen your step, walk lightly, as if hovering above the ground, and you will feel completely different.

How to become a happy person?

3. Happy people play sports

Self-love and inner feeling of happiness are not possible without love for own body. In order to become happy, you need to play sports. These can be both professional hobbies and amateur activities, both in fitness centers and elementary physical exercise, warm-up, gymnastics, yoga at home.

Exercise, in addition to improving physical fitness and allow you to keep your body in good shape, help you pay attention to your body, and many types of activities, such as yoga, allow you to combine physical development with the spiritual.

4. Happy people pay great attention to their inner selves.

Spiritual practices, meditations, trainings personal growth help happy people get to know themselves better, listen to their inner voice, develop intuition, love themselves, praise themselves, study themselves and come to inner balance and harmony. How often in modern world and the frantic pace of life, we are focused on anything but ourselves and our inner feelings.

5. Happy people enjoy little things

It is clear that major achievements and important achievements give us a feeling of happiness and joy. But a truly happy person knows how to rejoice and find positivity even in small things. There are so many beautiful things in life - you can enjoy every minute: the sound of rain outside the window, the rustling and smell autumn foliage, the rays of the sun, a cup of aromatic coffee in the morning.

Simple things, which are always there. Even small pleasant events that happen in the life of every person and to which many do not even pay attention, cause delight and a lot of positive emotions in happy people.

6. Gratitude

Happy people know how to be grateful for all the good things that happen in their lives. Even in psychology, there is the concept of a “gratitude diary”, where it is recommended to write down every day a list of all the good things that happened and for which you should thank the Universe.

7. To become happy, you need to learn to give, and not just take

A person who is ready to give, give, give away his warmth, energy, time will be happy. The more you give, the more you receive in return. It has long been proven that people get more pleasure from giving gifts. Seeing someone happy, rejoicing, laughing, and being involved in this - wonderful feeling, giving an unforgettable experience. This is happiness - to see the shining eyes of loved ones, to make someone happy.

8. Happy people are progressive, actively interested in everything new.

For a person to feel happy, he must develop and move forward. That is why happy people are characterized by an interest in everything new, they are not afraid to master progressive technology, they are interested in modern technologies, are passionate about some hobby, are aware of all the new products.

They are interested in trying unusual things, changing their field of activity, attending various courses, and improving their professional and creative level. As a rule, they are easy-going and love to travel. This can range from long trips to exploring nearby cities and attractions. There is nothing better than a change of scenery to get away from everyday life and routine. Even a simple weekend trip to nature is a great way become happier.

9. Happy people surround themselves with optimistic people.

Happy people try to avoid the company of boring, boring people who are dissatisfied with life. They prefer the company of positive, cheerful, humorous people. In the end, like attracts like - easy to communicate, lively, energetic, seeing good friends much more interesting than grumbling and dissatisfied people.

Negative thinking and dissatisfaction with life do not carry any charge or incentive for happy life. Therefore, in addition to changes in yourself, it would not be a bad idea to reconsider your social circle. Try to suppress negative outbursts from others - words, thoughts, actions. It is worth reaching out to interesting and extraordinary personalities, multifaceted creative people who can tell a lot of interesting things, teach something new, next to whom you can grow and not degrade.

9. Happy people know how to listen and hear.

When a person is a good listener, he shows respect for his interlocutor and opens himself to receive new information.

10. Happy people do not waste time on empty talk.

Time is the most valuable and irreplaceable source. So is it worth spending precious minutes of life talking about nothing, regretting what can no longer be changed, empty platitudes, soul-searching and self-pity, doubts, beating around the bush? We so often talk a lot about all sorts of trifles, but remain silent about the main thing. And then we regret it. A happy person knows how to formulate his thoughts clearly and clearly, he organizes them into constructive and deep conversation, displacing light chatter.

11. Happy people allow themselves to lose track of time.

Remember how in childhood, being passionate about something, time and the whole world around us froze and ceased to exist. Likewise, happy adults are looking for something to do and a hobby to their liking in order to return to a state of “weightlessness.”

12. Happy people know how to cope with failures and quickly recover from them.

A happy person perceives any obstacle or failure as a challenge, and any failure as an experience from which appropriate conclusions are drawn. Such people have learned not to reproach and scold themselves in difficult situations, but, on the contrary, to strive to find an excuse and reassurance. It didn’t work out today, it will work out tomorrow, there wasn’t enough knowledge, experience, time - all this can be corrected. This is just a chance to become smarter, faster, and learn new things. Optimists easily move on from failures, do not get hung up, but move forward. This self-healing ability is important quality which can and should be cultivated in oneself.

How to become happier?

13. Happy people prefer live communication and know how to make friends and build relationships with other people

They disconnect from the network and prefer face-to-face relationships to virtual conversations via social media. They feel quite normal without the Internet, computer, TV and other nonsense that eats up time. They prefer to spend their free minute with maximum benefit, read a lot.
Happy people know how to make friends, they are sociable and easily find mutual language even with strangers. They know how to approach relatives and dear people. Like subtle psychologists, they feel the interlocutor and can fly across half the country to see a close friend.

14. A happy person knows how to love

The energy of love is the most powerful in the Universe. A happy person loves himself, those around him, nature, animals, and his work. Whatever he undertakes, he does it with pleasure. emits waves that attract other people. Therefore, happy people are always loved.

15. Happy people have a special relationship with money.

As a rule, a happy person treats money very easily. He does not neglect them, he knows how to earn them, but he also parted with them easily. He gets pleasure from sharing them, participating in charity, helping those in need. A happy person is capable of selfless actions and volunteer work. When giving, he rarely expects anything in return, so he always receives more.

And the last thing:

happy people think positively and program the scenario of each day in a positive way. They know how to block negative thoughts and are always in the mood before they begin any task. About the power of thought, desire and positive thinking Many books have been written and a large number of documentaries have been filmed.

It all starts with a desire for the best and become happy. Chasing pleasure, spending money on yourself, accumulating wealth, material goods, which many understand as happiness, has nothing to do with the true feeling and awareness of oneself as a happy person. Believe me, those who truly want to be happy will become happy!

Who cares what they think of you? If you are happy with the decisions you made, then you did right choice, and it doesn't matter what others say. Imagine how much effort you spend trying to read other people's thoughts, and still don't guess.

Listen to advice - please, but don't let others decide how to live.

2. Anger and resentment

The next time you catch yourself feeling this way, think about this: “Would I like to be the person I envy?” Surely not, you love yourself (even if somewhere very deep inside).

You are looking at someone else's life that you don't know. You have no idea what this person is thinking. Maybe when he dives into the pool of his private home, he hates himself or is wildly afraid of something? Maybe you, walking through the forest on a sunny day, experience much more pleasure than he, basking in the snow-white sand in the Maldives?

Stop looking at others. If you feel good now, then everything is right. If not, make it good.

16. Uncertainty

Happy people tend to have a sense of self-worth (just don't confuse it with an inflated ego). They are happy with themselves and exude confidence.

There is no reason to doubt yourself. If you have traits that you hate, there are two ways: accept them or change them. Every person is everything at once: a libertine, a puritan, a lying bastard, and a gentleman. You choose who you want to be.

17. Dependence on others

No one will fill the emptiness inside of you. No one will make you positive and self-sufficient if you are unhappy with your fate. To share your happiness with someone else, you must first become happy yourself. So don’t even hope that your success is in someone else’s hands. Only in yours.

18. Past

Living in the past means burying your present. There were mistakes - okay, who didn't? Give your memories a magnificent funeral, remember only the lessons and...

19. Total control

Sometimes you just need to relax and let life take its course. You can't control everything, and you have to accept that. Otherwise, you will be constantly nervous, but in the end you will still not change anything. There are simply things that are beyond your control. They must be accepted as they are.

20. Expectations

People think that others should meet their expectations. That's bullshit. Nobody owes you anything, just like you don’t owe anything. No one should be polite, attentive, neat, honest, pleasant to talk to, clean, in the end. Nothing has to be perfect, amazing, unforgettable, but it can be. If it happens, great; if not, you won’t be upset. Be willing to accept whatever life throws at you and you will find happiness.

Research groups of scientists from Harvard and the University of California believe that happiness is a virus that lives according to all laws infectious disease. According to them, if a person is surrounded by friendly and smiling people, then this attitude is transmitted to him. In particular, a person's chance of being happy increases by 25% if his best friend is happy.

“The more often we communicate with people who are satisfied with life, the higher our chances are, if not for happiness, then at least for positive mood"- says Olga Karabanova, Doctor of Psychology, Deputy Dean for scientific work Faculty of Psychology, Moscow State University.

But physiologists believe that happiness depends on hormones - endorphin, serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin eliminates depression, improves mental capacity, useful for internal organs, getting things going gastrointestinal tract. But serotonin works closely with dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and GABA, which is responsible for the relaxation process.

The lack of even one of these substances affects the mood, depriving a person of a feeling of happiness. To prevent this from happening, you can make small adjustments to your diet by increasing the doses of certain foods:

• Serotonin— found in eggs, low-fat cheeses, poultry, and avocados.
• Dopamine- Found in fruits and vegetables with vitamin C.
• GABA- found in eggs, dark green vegetables, seeds, nuts, potatoes and bananas.

But happiness is not only in tasty and healthy food, but also in a good mood, a positive outlook, the absence of stress, anxiety and worry, as well as psychological and physical health.

How to learn to be happy?

• Don't envy or compare yourself to others. It is very important to learn to be content with what you already have, appreciate it and enjoy it, without ceasing to strive for more. Other people's victories and blessings in life should not cause anger and irritation, but motivate and inspire. The desire to not lag behind others in anything is one of the main enemies of happiness.
• Don't stop there and constantly set new goals for yourself, let them be both global, for example, building a house or visiting an exotic country, and everyday, for example, submitting a report or starting going to fitness. Remember that becoming a doctor, raising a child, or making soup are all goals.
• Don't regret anything. If something has already happened, it cannot be changed. Thinking about what could be changed in the past is absolutely useless; it is better to concentrate on what can be done in the present and future.
• Make your own decisions and take responsibility for them. No one knows what is best for you except you. Of course, sometimes it’s worth listening to advice, but try on your life only for yourself.
• Learn to relax, because rest and pleasure are an important component of truly happy people. Don’t sacrifice rest for the sake of work or money - there will always be plenty of the former, and little of the latter. Try to organize regular vacations with a rich program, do not forget about daily rest, which includes not only sleep and leisure, but also banal “doing nothing.”
• Learn to forgive and forget grievances. After all, keep negative emotions in oneself is the same as drinking poison, but thinking that it will poison someone else.
• Go in for sports, fitness, do gymnastics regularly, or at least just walk a lot. It has been proven that during physical activity the brain absorbs more oxygen, and the body produces “joy hormones” (dopamine, serotonin), which improve mood for at least 4 hours.
• Watch your health, because any disease is bad feeling and loss of strength, and it is much easier to prevent it than to waste energy, time and money on treatment.
• Eat right, try to learn to avoid harmful products, for example, fast food, but at the same time enjoy the food. No diet has ever made a person happy, but a delicious dinner can quite improve your mood.
• Learn every day to love, respect and appreciate yourself, thereby balancing healthy egoism with correct self-criticism.
• Smile, even if there is no one to smile at. Physiologists call a smile a button Have a good mood, joyful facial expressions relieve muscle tension and stimulate the parts of the brain responsible for a good mood.
• Surround yourself with positivity- positive books, films, beautiful things, for example, flowers, photographs or dishes, listen to good cheerful music.

AiF.ru collected 8 statements famous people about happiness. Try to guess

A lot of works, essays, and books have been written about how to become a happy person. Practical psychology has long been trying to answer this question, offering valuable recommendations anyone who wants to change their life.

But often such people have a problem: they they simply don’t know what exactly happiness is.

1. Some people think that what prevents them from becoming happy is the lack of wealth and social recognition.
2. Others believe that happiness is family and having a partner.
3. For others, the main thing is the opportunity to do what they love. And so on.

Let’s not say that happiness is absolutely independent of your financial status, the presence of a loved one in your life, or a hobby that brings you pleasure. The point is different. Very often we drive ourselves into a dead end with our desires. And it turns out that we do not lead them, but they lead us .

If you want to know how to love life and become truly happy, then the following information will be useful to you.

Happiness - what is it?

Happiness is a relative concept, since it is individual for everyone. There is no single recipe for happiness, so people have to look for it on their own. AND a big problem is that many are looking for it in places where it is not and cannot be. To try to answer the question of what happiness is, it is better to start by considering what exactly happiness is not.

Many people spend almost their entire lives trying to earn money to buy some things or goods. A person tries to buy expensive items or a new place to live, can often change love partners, seek thrills, strive for power or public recognition even to the detriment of himself, etc.

But, as a rule, all these aspirations and specific achievements for some reason do not make people happy. There may be temporary satisfaction, but it is not enough. On the other hand, the lack of goods also makes many unhappy. In general, some kind of vicious circle.

In fact, happiness is this is the internal state of a person, which does not depend on any things or circumstances . Finding it is not so easy, but it is also not easy to lose it, even if you lose something in your life. Happiness is something that is permanent, the result of the development of certain skills and sensations. What happens inside yourself regardless of what is happening around you.

Happiness is not a temporary euphoria, a surge of joyful emotions. Calmness, inner balance, complete satisfaction, confidence - these are the components of happiness. Even if life happens minor troubles, this cannot in any way affect happy person . This is because this state is within him and the surrounding reality is not able to easily influence him.

Think about whether a person will become happy simply because he moves to a new place. Perhaps he will feel better for a while, but those internal problems, which bother him, will soon break out anyway. This is the same as running from yourself - completely pointless.

According to the philosophy of Epicurus, happiness is not temporary and transitory. This is not a momentary pleasure, but a lasting pleasure. That is why it is not exclusively related to the present moment. Memories, hopes, the past, the future, a life freed from fears and suffering - all these are components of the feeling of happiness. In addition, Epicurus clarified: happiness should not be confused with depraved pleasures. It is free from desires and is possible only in a state of mental peace, serenity, and tranquility.

If you do not experience at least a little happiness here and now, if you blame others and circumstances for your unhappiness, if you see only the negative in everything, but at the same time do not want to work on yourself, then happiness will not come.. Perhaps it seems to you that if you just get expensive things and other benefits, everything will work out. But this opinion is wrong and will lead nowhere. You need to focus on your inner state. You can change it, which cannot be said about some external circumstances and the people around you.

What prevents you from becoming happy

Now we will talk about what a person should get rid of first in order to finally become happy. At first, you may not even realize that there is a lot of unnecessary things in our lives - things that take away our strength, positive emotions, productive thoughts and force us to perform unnecessary actions.

So, what are our own beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that often interfere with our path to feeling satisfied with life and ourselves:

• Past. It's about about experiences associated with negative and perhaps even tragic events in the past. Stopping worrying is not an easy task, since a person can mentally return to the experience over and over again. By the way, experiences can also be associated with positive events that brought joy at one time. In this case there is also danger. Plunging back into happy memories and trying to evoke the same joyful state, we forget about the present and the fact that it can also contain a lot of beauty.
• Fear of the future. This is another problem that interferes with the path to happiness. Because of the fear of the future and its uncertainty, we can direct all our thoughts and actions towards obstacles that do not yet exist. So we spend physical and mental strength on unknown things.
• The connection between happiness and some achievements. Perhaps you are familiar with the situation when you set a condition for yourself: “I will be happy or happy only if I have a big and rich house, I will find high paying job etc. Setting goals that are difficult to achieve and sometimes completely unnecessary is a false path to happiness. If you achieve what you want, the period of euphoria will be very short, and you will raise the bar even higher in order to again feel the same moral satisfaction. If, on the contrary, you failed to achieve your goal, you feel deeply disappointed. Why even think that happiness is the result, the final station, the reward? Happiness is the path that is filled with experiences, feelings, emotions, events.
• Self-created obstacles. Some people believe that happiness must be paid for, because it should not be obtained too easily (otherwise its value will be low). You have to suffer through it and wait for years. But the effect is often the opposite. While we waste time, happiness passes us by. In this case, we ourselves do not allow ourselves to be happy.
• The belief that you don't deserve to be happy. As a rule, this attitude is subconscious, so it is not only difficult to get rid of it, but even to realize it. There are a lot of similar examples. For example, you've probably met women who have repeatedly linked their lives with alcohol addicts, pathological liars, or despots. Or we have seen more than once that an educated, intelligent and talented man constantly chooses a job that exhausts him, does not bring him pleasure and is generally unpromising. What to do? Analyze your behavior, realize your attitude and mistakes made under its influence. If you can’t do this on your own, a competent psychologist will come to the rescue.
• Focusing on the negative. Quarrels, misunderstandings, intrusive thoughts, resentment, envy, anger, aggression and other negative emotions, thoughts and actions destroy a person and prevent him from becoming happy. I recommend the article.
• Passing the buck. A big mistake common to many people is blaming other people or external circumstances for their mistakes, unwillingness to change their lives, and achieve success on their own. Such people do not want to change anything in their lives for the better, blaming the state, family, friends, bosses and even strangers. Each person has his own life, so everyone is responsible for it individually.

Dealing with obstacles that we create ourselves is usually very difficult. And all because we tend to justify ourselves and feel sorry for ourselves. But one thing is for sure: if we ourselves create obstacles on the path to happiness, then we can get rid of them ourselves. You just need to realize your mistakes.

If you are on the path to happiness, you need to get rid of:

• Bad habits . Just think how much time, physical and moral energy you spent on addictions. They take away not only your mind, but also your health.
• Dependence on the opinions of others . If you do everything with an eye on the opinions of others, your actions will be constantly slowed down. Those who are afraid of looking “something wrong” in the eyes of others do not allow themselves to be happy. You will never be able to please everyone. But for yourself - please. Never let others take charge of your life (although this is an excellent strategy for those who are looking for excuses for not wanting to take responsibility for their own lives). However, in some cases it is still useful to find out an opinion about yourself, to hear constructive and harmless criticism. But, are you sure that the outside view of you will be unbiased and sincere? Even relatives and loved ones sometimes cannot be objective.
• Habits of complaining about everything and everyone . If you constantly do this, then such a person really begins to attract failures. This is something like self-programming, because of which a person subconsciously strives for something that will make him complain again and again. You need to get rid of this habit immediately. If you enjoy even the most insignificant things, small pleasant events, then the energy of happiness will “stick” to such a person.
• Unnecessary things . It may seem strange at first glance, but clutter in things also leads to clutter in the head. Get rid of what bothers you in life. Give things away to loved ones or those in need. This way you will give way to something new.
• Unnecessary self-criticism . There is no need to constantly dig into yourself and reproach yourself for something. You need to accept yourself as you are - with all the shortcomings and advantages. And if you are not at all happy with something about yourself, act. Instead of self-criticism, start setting goals and achieving them. Believe me, this is much more pleasant than constantly reproaching yourself for imperfection.

If you recognize yourself in at least some of the descriptions, then now you know exactly what is hindering your happiness.

What should a person be like to become happy: tips

As mentioned earlier, becoming happy means working on yourself, getting rid of unnecessary thoughts and actions. No matter how trivial it may sound, everything is in your hands.

You are responsible for your own happiness, so start moving towards your goal right here and now. Here are some tips to help you with this.

1. Learn to relax and deal with stress

It is clear that every person periodically faces life's trials and emotional turmoil. Often you cannot influence it, but you are quite capable of finding a way to distance yourself from your worries. This doesn't mean you need to bury your head in the sand. Vice versa, look at the problem with clear eyes. If you constantly push thoughts about troubles deep inside, they will not let you go, but will exhaust you.

What do we have to do? Discuss your problem with the people closest and dearest to you. You can contact a psychologist. The main thing is not to be alone in a state of stress, as negative judgments can overwhelm you.

Get a good night's sleep, find time for relaxation and favorite activities (reading books, sports, listening to music, beading, knitting, etc.). A chronically tired and exhausted person cannot be truly happy. . What may seem like a real disaster to someone who hasn’t had enough sleep, will not be so scary to someone who is well rested.

1. Cast aside doubts and do not regret anything

Don't blame yourself for what you did or didn't do in the past. It’s still not possible to go back and fix everything, but to learn from own experience quite possible. Treat this as an opportunity in the present and future to do what you need to do.. Draw the necessary conclusions from your actions. Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

1. Find your true purpose

By the way, this is not so easy to do. It may require serious work on yourself, analysis of the inner “I”. Try to get rid of stereotypes and opinions imposed by society. Perhaps your true goal is not to work until old age in one job, relax with friends on weekends as usual over a glass of tea, or strive to go to a comfortable resort abroad at least once. Maybe you want to paint portraits, master new profession, start volunteering, etc. This is your life and you are responsible for it. If you're not hurting anyone by doing what you love, then don't listen to anyone. Find your source of happiness. Be prepared for the fact that it will be completely different from most other people.

1. Smile more

A constantly gloomy person is perceived as unhappy. If you smile, you will become more attractive and friendly in the eyes of others. It also helps to lift your mood. Don't be afraid to show positive emotions, laugh at every opportunity. Laughter not only has beneficial influence for health, but also helps cope with stress, attract good people and favorable circumstances.

1. Appreciate what you have in your life

It is important to be grateful for everything that fate has given you. And it doesn’t have to be some special moments in your life. Believe me happiness consists of small, but so significant for you trifles. Give thanks for what you think is necessary:

• relatives for surrounding you with care;
• friends - that they exist and find time to meet with you;
• the saleswoman - for fresh bread;
• the driver - for his good nature and comfortable travel conditions, etc.

You should also thank yourself and the circumstances that worked in your favor. A good education, good health, the ability to choose - all this makes us as happy as we allow ourselves.

1. Find something that makes you happy

It's hard to live and enjoy life when you don't have a hobby. Even if you think that you are incapable of anything, throw away these thoughts. It may take you some time to find yourself. Maybe you like taking photographs? Or do you feel like dancing is something worth trying? In general, there are many options. Try it different directions activities, attend various seminars and courses. When you find “yours,” you will feel it.

1. Make others happy

If you help those who really need it, you will feel how nice it is. Help does not have to be financial (although maybe someone is in dire need of it). The only important thing is that good deeds must be done selflessly, at the behest of the soul. This should not be narcissism and a desire to feel superior to the one who needs help.

1. Don't be afraid of the future

Don't be afraid of what the future holds for you. Your motto should be the following slogan: “Everything is fine with me now, but it will be even better.” For the most part, we build our own future by setting goals, making efforts to achieve them, perceiving reality and acting on our beliefs. There is no need to be afraid of failure. Instead, think about what you can achieve and truly enjoy even small achievements.

1. Don't expect things from people that they don't have to give you.

In fact, no one is obligated to try to make you happy. Even the people closest to you can do as they need. When you realize that no one owes you anything, life becomes much easier. After all, you are also free to do as you see fit in each specific case.

Happiness is a state that does not depend on circumstances and other people. This is internal harmony, the consistency of one’s “I” with the world around us. Yes, there are sometimes situations in life that can disappoint us. But they should not break us, make us feel insignificant and feel the imperfection of the world.

If you are facing trials in life, let it be only a temporary condition. This is just a reminder that if you are unable to influence your circumstances, you are able to influence your perception of the world. You deserve to be happy!

If you feel that you need help and support in your situation, I will be happy to help you through my programs and courses, as well as individual consultations. Your state, thoughts and sensations will radically change and transform. Anxieties and old programs will be replaced by a feeling of deep trust, love and happiness.
You can view the course schedule by following the link:

With love and faith in you, Maria Shakti.

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